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Old 01-24-2017, 02:39 AM
 
33,136 posts, read 39,078,504 times
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Its coming up on a year since the kids left the house and moved out on their own,one across town the other across country,As the house is way too big for just the wife and i we are downsizing to a smaller dwelling which necessitates throwing out all the stuff they left behind,I'm finding it very emotional to be throwing out all their teddy bears,clothing,pictures on the wall,furniture, i'm not fitting into this empty nest thing too well and am continually feeling a great sense of loss and melancholy.
No real point to the topic i just needed to vent a bit.
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Old 01-24-2017, 02:59 AM
 
Location: Ohio
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Why not get a hope chest or some bins and keep just a few favorites?
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Old 01-24-2017, 09:58 AM
 
Location: Brew City
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I hope you'll consider donating some items and not just filling a landfill.


Surely you can keep a few items.
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Old 01-24-2017, 10:08 AM
 
5,500 posts, read 3,355,263 times
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Are you 100% sure that none of the kids want any of these things? I would have been pretty upset if my parents through out any of my childhood toys etc. without even asking me. Assuming you've asked and they definitely don't want any of these things, then by all means get a plastic bin for each child and save the things that mean the most to you or that you suspect they might want some day. And donate the rest.
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Old 01-24-2017, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Toronto
6,754 posts, read 3,356,692 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jambo101 View Post
Its coming up on a year since the kids left the house and moved out on their own,one across town the other across country,As the house is way too big for just the wife and i we are downsizing to a smaller dwelling which necessitates throwing out all the stuff they left behind,I'm finding it very emotional to be throwing out all their teddy bears,clothing,pictures on the wall,furniture, i'm not fitting into this empty nest thing too well and am continually feeling a great sense of loss and melancholy.

No real point to the topic i just needed to vent a bit.
My kid is only 10 and I was clinging on to baby clothes and baby stuff. We need the space so the pressure to get ride of it was high. I realized a lot of the sadness I was feeling was related to the fact that to me it was reminding me of all the experiences we had or did not have enough time to enjoy more of. It also made me realize that I likely wont have another child and wont be able to experience those moments again as a mother. It reminded me that I have gotten older and life has not stood still. Time has past and the clock will does not go back to re-live those good momements.

I know my experience is not the same as being in an empty nest situation ....

But I have some suggestions for you .....

1. Donate it !!!! Someone else is going to likely get good use for these things...

2. Try and list it and re-sell it. I have been doing this with some items and really have had some fun selling, buying and trading things online.

3. You are entering a new phase in your life.... you likely need to get back out there and re-discover what it is like to be an adult without children and around to worry about on a day to day basis. Go do things. Clearing out some of there stuff to create a space for another purpose ...ex an art room/ games room/ entertainment room. Life is changing ... use this as an opportunity to explore and try things you could not get a chance to do before.

Please note I live in a smaller home ... so the idea of having space seems pretty amazing !
I get how sad this can feel. I likely have only 8-10 more years to go not and I am not looking forward to it. Time goes by really fast.

How is your wife handling the situation? Maybe you guys need to try and spend more time doing stuff together to help cope with this.
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Old 01-24-2017, 12:18 PM
 
Location: Austin
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Tell your kids to come over and go thru what they want and take it with them. That's what my mom did with me. I took what I wanted, so got rid of the rest.
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Old 01-24-2017, 12:18 PM
 
33,136 posts, read 39,078,504 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by klmrocks View Post

How is your wife handling the situation? Maybe you guys need to try and spend more time doing stuff together to help cope with this.
Seems i'm the only one having an emotional issue about it.We do plenty together but the wife still works fulltime while i'm retired.
The kids have been asked what they want to keep which seems to consist of mostly of their video games and players. all personal effects are being donated to a local charity called Renaissance =
https://www.renaissancequebec.ca/en/renaissance/summary
Not into saving too much as we are moving from 22 years in a 6 room house with full basement to a 4 and a half room apartment so space will be at a premium. the wife is willing to rent a storage garage to keep some of the stuff that wont fit in the new apartment.
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Old 01-24-2017, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,474 posts, read 15,913,707 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot View Post
Are you 100% sure that none of the kids want any of these things? I would have been pretty upset if my parents through out any of my childhood toys etc. without even asking me. Assuming you've asked and they definitely don't want any of these things, then by all means get a plastic bin for each child and save the things that mean the most to you or that you suspect they might want some day. And donate the rest.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FalconheadWest View Post
Tell your kids to come over and go thru what they want and take it with them. That's what my mom did with me. I took what I wanted, so got rid of the rest.
I agree.

I was very surprised to discover that a few toys that I thought were NOT favorites, were things that my adult children loved & wanted to keep for themselves or for their future children.
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Old 01-24-2017, 03:47 PM
 
Location: Toronto
6,754 posts, read 3,356,692 times
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Default ....

Quote:
Originally Posted by jambo101 View Post
Seems i'm the only one having an emotional issue about it.We do plenty together but the wife still works fulltime while i'm retired.
The kids have been asked what they want to keep which seems to consist of mostly of their video games and players. all personal effects are being donated to a local charity called Renaissance =
https://www.renaissancequebec.ca/en/renaissance/summary
Not into saving too much as we are moving from 22 years in a 6 room house with full basement to a 4 and a half room apartment so space will be at a premium. the wife is willing to rent a storage garage to keep some of the stuff that wont fit in the new apartment.
Oh god ... moving is totally stressful in general.
Hey if they already stated what they wanted to keep then move it out of there and select a few things you really cherish to keep. Another idea is taking photos of items. This is something a read in a magazine. Parents who where feeling guilty about throwing away their kids art work. What was suggested was taking photos of the item. Then discarding it. You keep the memory, but not the clutter.

I moved from a bigger house on a small lot to a smaller house on a bigger lot 5 years ago and I am still trying to sort out the huge mess. It they don't want the items ... they don't sweat about it. Moving is hard enough as it is.
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Old 01-24-2017, 03:49 PM
 
15,743 posts, read 13,171,628 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jambo101 View Post
Its coming up on a year since the kids left the house and moved out on their own,one across town the other across country,As the house is way too big for just the wife and i we are downsizing to a smaller dwelling which necessitates throwing out all the stuff they left behind,I'm finding it very emotional to be throwing out all their teddy bears,clothing,pictures on the wall,furniture, i'm not fitting into this empty nest thing too well and am continually feeling a great sense of loss and melancholy.
No real point to the topic i just needed to vent a bit.
Instead of just chucking it, take a phone video of you explaining why each of these items have sentimental value or a story that you remember associated with the item. Then send those videos to your kids or save them for later. Lots of times kids don't hold the same sentimental value to the items themselves because they were too young to really remember them, but they will treasure the memories that you have of them at some point.
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