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Old 01-24-2017, 02:57 PM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
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The other day, I commented on how I don't visit my sibling and my niece (I think 12) (in non romantic relationships) during the holidays because of all the drama there. It is a threat to my security credentials. Afterwards, I got to thinking that now that I had a house, maybe I ought to invite him and family over.

Unpacking books today, as I waited for internet installation, I wasn't so sure. Books on sexual assault and homicide, medical exams, and other related, intense subjects.

Am I too sensitive, perhaps seeing the world when I was a child and not as the current information intensive it is now?

How do the parents of today view such a world?
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Old 01-24-2017, 03:30 PM
 
2,054 posts, read 978,438 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TamaraSavannah View Post
The other day, I commented on how I don't visit my sibling and my niece (I think 12) (in non romantic relationships) during the holidays because of all the drama there. It is a threat to my security credentials. Afterwards, I got to thinking that now that I had a house, maybe I ought to invite him and family over.

Unpacking books today, as I waited for internet installation, I wasn't so sure. Books on sexual assault and homicide, medical exams, and other related, intense subjects.

Am I too sensitive, perhaps seeing the world when I was a child and not as the current information intensive it is now?

How do the parents of today view such a world?

Missed that thread and this one is confusing.

You don't know how old your niece is?

Do you have security clearance for your work? Or does the family drama not give you any peace?

Who has the books on intense subjects- you or your niece? Can you arrange to have them out of the way when your niece comes over? Do you think that she'll want to read some of them?
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Old 01-24-2017, 03:44 PM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms. Tarabotti View Post
Missed that thread and this one is confusing.

You don't know how old your niece is?

Do you have security clearance for your work? Or does the family drama not give you any peace?

Who has the books on intense subjects- you or your niece? Can you arrange to have them out of the way when your niece comes over? Do you think that she'll want to read some of them?
I have books of intense subjects and in unpacking today, I rather realize it is something of a way of life. That is, they are everywhere. In order to give them their own space, I'd probably have to give them a vault room like I give the gun vault a vault room.

It is further a bit more than that. I have my books on death and murder investigations which include crime scene pictures. I have my books on erotic photography. I have my books on classical art.

As a child, I recall seeking out the latter two because they were the only things around to see "that world". So that question is, with the Net such as it is, do parents fear their children seeing pictures of "Christians being stripped to the flesh and thrown off the cliffs"? (as with classical art)

No, I don't know how my niece is; I don't see her that often. It is not an uncommon situation when relatives endlessly send gifts at the age they last saw them at, even if that was 10 years ago.

As far as my security credentials go, I value much what I have worked to achieve and don't want any position endangered, such as a background check coming back bad, because of my "unwise" involvement with others.
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Old 01-25-2017, 02:02 PM
 
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As a parent of an 8 year old girl, I think 12 is old enough that if she saw some books and started asking questions, it wouldn't be the end of the world. Just be prepared to answer the questions in an age-appropriate manner. Which means answer with the truth, but start as simple as you can make it, and only add in details bit by bit and only if they continue asking questions.


I sometimes watch shows like Sherlock / Elementary / Bones / Castle etc. with my daughter where they show crime scenes with dead people. I tell her that in real life, sometimes really bad people kill other people. When that happens, the police figure out who the bad people are and put them in jail, so they can't hurt anyone else. Stuff like that.


I would not fear my child seeing pictures of "Christians being stripped to the flesh and thrown off the cliffs". I would just be ready to explain in case I were asked about it.
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Old 01-25-2017, 03:07 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
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My kids are 11 and 14. I let them read any books that they want, other than erotica. I let them look at art books with nudes, but not pornography. If you have any actual porn, put that away somewhere before having your young relative visit. Otherwise, it shouldn't be a problem. If she's like 95% of kids her age, unless it's on her phone or tablet she won't even notice it.
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Old 01-26-2017, 02:47 AM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
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Thank you!
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Old 01-26-2017, 08:09 AM
 
Location: Brew City
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I wouldn't childproof my house for company.

I don't expect others to do it either.


My 7 and 5 year olds LOVE to look at medical books and books about female puberty (we have two girls so we don't own a boy book but now that I hear myself say that I should go find one because they shouldn't be ignorant).
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Old 01-26-2017, 09:19 AM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vegabern View Post
I wouldn't childproof my house for company.

I don't expect others to do it either.


My 7 and 5 year olds LOVE to look at medical books and books about female puberty (we have two girls so we don't own a boy book but now that I hear myself say that I should go find one because they shouldn't be ignorant).
Well, for the sibling concerned, he wouldn't let me show my 8 year old step nephew (10ish years and another marriage ago) pictures of belly dancers. Pictures I had taken at festival, not of me dancing. So there is a slight reason for concern.

I don't know. Pictures, of anything, are the easiest to access the mind with, text is more difficult but still possible.

Summing it all up, of the intensity of what the max might be, it might be like a law enforcement briefing I was at once. The subject was sex trafficking and the presenter stopped for a moment and asked that if everyone in the room was of the law enforcement community. It wasn't that the briefing was secret but rather for the practice he described afterwards was extremely brutal. I was already aware of that particular debauchery but there were several operatives in the room that were visible shocked....which for seasoned LE types was rather impressive in a good way in that one has not become entirely insensitive.

From that angle, I could have two concerns. First of all, I believe that childhood should be kept as long as possible. Sooner or later, we have to learn about mean world, but I don't think that should come too quickly.

Secondly, Mom would call the viewing of this type of stuff without adequate reason "mind pollution". For me, it is what I do, such as for the development of investigative techniques and situational alerts. An example to the latter on the minor scale would be word on the street that "the girl couldn't even speak English" which might indicate that a trafficking operation is in action. In order to reach such conclusions, I may have gone through TONS of sex trade information and accounts and I'm not sure if a child should be able read such stuff.

The other areas I might research, such as detecting illegal recovery operations, smuggling, and child soldering, perhaps not so sensitive, but I don't know.

Perhaps, though, my moral code is too sensitive, too unaware of what children already know these days.

Thank you for the input.
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Old 01-28-2017, 04:29 PM
 
Location: Central IL
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
My kids are 11 and 14. I let them read any books that they want, other than erotica. I let them look at art books with nudes, but not pornography. If you have any actual porn, put that away somewhere before having your young relative visit. Otherwise, it shouldn't be a problem. If she's like 95% of kids her age, unless it's on her phone or tablet she won't even notice it.
If you don't let your kids see porn then why would you let them see actual photos of crime scenes that the OP mentioned?

OP - if you're that concerned, put those books in their own room and make it lockable.

Otherwise, if it is that rare for you to see your niece then it might be a more "formal" visit where you're all in one room and not one where you're doing stuff in one room and they have the run of your house where they can get into all your "adult" stuff.
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Old 01-29-2017, 09:34 AM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
8,834 posts, read 4,798,742 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
If you don't let your kids see porn then why would you let them see actual photos of crime scenes that the OP mentioned?

OP - if you're that concerned, put those books in their own room and make it lockable.

Otherwise, if it is that rare for you to see your niece then it might be a more "formal" visit where you're all in one room and not one where you're doing stuff in one room and they have the run of your house where they can get into all your "adult" stuff.
Well, part of the concern is that during Christmas time, I cannot accept my sibling's offer to visit because of his recreational activities which I suspect he is doing. So I am wondering if I can issue, in the future when the ranch is operational, an invitation for them to come visit me. The sibling leaving his fun affairs at home, that brings us to our current discussion.

As to other comments, I do not watch TV, so I cannot say if what they show is like what it really is. I do recall a classmate, undergrad, going "wild" when he looked at one my professional books, https://books.google.com/books/about...ource=kp_cover
because he had never seen pictures like that. That was in 2005 and perhaps TV shows more than that now; if so, I am sorry. As noted above, I do not believe children should see such things.

On a side note, one of the paper backs on my shelf is something like "Sexual Sadists: They loved to hear their victims scream". Something like that. Probably typical of the stirring of the pot type books and normally, I don't bother much with such except at bargain sales for rapid reading to have in my "memory banks". In this case, however, I was reading it for a friend whose kin were the victims for one described in the book. Rather familiar with the case, it was to report back to whether the victims were unfairly written about, so to speak. As I recall, they were not and neither were any pictures in the book matters to be concerned about.

SIGH..............

I suppose the best advice is to have a professional library, undisclosed as oppose to forbidden, but that will take some time and cash and will be down the road just a bit. That is, it being a ranch, I can probably build a cabin for such. Till then, have all such books located in one area so if it comes to it, they can be moved quickly. That.....or back into the boxes.

Thank you.
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