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What if the other parent denies access to the child? It's not always the father's fault that he's not allowed to see his kid.
BTW I don't have kids, but I've seen this situation before and wanted to hear people's thoughts on it.
Visitation needs to be spelled out in the divorce papers.
If the mother doesn't comply, the father can go to court and get her fined for noncompliance, and the court will also issue a stern warning to her.
The law protects fathers. Unfortunately, some women seem to think they have a right to decide if the father should see the kids. The mother doesn't have that right. He's their father. They have a right to see each other. If she doesn't think he's a good influence...well, she picked him to have kids with. If he's that bad, she can go to court and require supervised, or no, visits.
by law, the non custodial parent is forced to pay support.
There is no law that says that the non custodial MUST visit or have visitation.
Go figure.
Also the support is NOT for the child. It goes directly to the custodial to do with as they please.
Biggest rouse this support thing misleads is that somehow the funds get used for the offspring. so far the courts have been silent in saying its for the kids directly.
During court orders to pay, is when the visitation is to be agreed upon. Unless the non custodial is a threat to the children ....
Yes, there is law that says the noncustodial parent must have visits, if he wants them. There is no law forcing him to.
The noncustodial parent is forced to pay his half of support. The custodial parent pays a larger share, since she cares for the child, pays for the utilities, all the little things that come up, stays up at night to tend the sick child, picks them up and drops them off for school, has to live in a place large enough to have the kids, buy sheets and jammies and pillows and toys and hair bows and over the counter medicines and go to the movies, and such. She also has to have a job that allows her to take off time from work for the kids, can only work certain hours, etc. The noncustodial parent has none of those concerns. Watch the movie Kramer vs Kramer.
Mothers do indeed spend the necessary money to support their children, regardless where they get it from. If a mother does not, well....he picked her to have kids with. He should pick more carefully next time.
By the same token, if she thinks the father is a bad influence on the kids, well...she picked him to have kids with.
Once you get the court system involved you have to play by the rules. ex-wives, ex-husbands, lawyers, baby mamas and baby daddies, Drama all this takes a toll on the child noticed or unnoticed. So as a parent you have to do what's best for the child (period). If every time you call to arrange to see or speak to your kid and it winds up a screaming match then this is Not what's best for your kid. That's why that check however small or large it may be is not what dictates parenting it just paying the necessary bills depending on the custodial parent!!! But that's the purpose of it. So pay it, its usually chump change to be honest depending on your state and they let you go waaaaay to long without paying before there is any legal penalty. As a single dad with custody The best thing to do is not whats best for yourself but whats best for your kid. Stop doing anything that creates drama in the kids life and handle it with the help of the court. It will work out and the older the kid becomes the more they will see who the problem is so don't speak negative about the other parent and create the best environment you can for your kid even if you cant see them. The more dependent their lifestyle is on your income the more the court will be in your corner. So pay child support and more if she needs extra money give it up keep records and never give cash!!!! buy extra groceries, clothes and support the parties and get her a babysitter every now and then basically stop giving her anything to hate you for. That's being a man and a father...Paying child support is just being a law abiding citizen. IMO
Your child needs food, clothes and a roof over their head no matter what. Paying child support is not optional.
I would see my child no matter what or who tried to stop me. If your ex spouse tries to keep your child away you need to take them to court. A good father would fight to see his child - Don't be a wuss - stand up and be a man for heavens sake.
Not sure why some people think child support is 'not spent on the child'. Those people have obviously never raised a child and don't realize how expensive rent, utilities, food, clothes, doctor visits, etc. are. I don't know ANYONE that spends 'child support' on the 'good life' of the custodial parent.
Let me kindly enlighten you. Court ordered child support goes directly to the primary guardian.end of that tutorial.
I raised two sons. Child support was not ordered or demanded. I held two jobs. I didn't want their fathers financial support. The child support system is so lopsided .
Please go do research, ( I have !).And the courts refuse to direct that the funds to directly to the kids . If mom.wants to rent an apartment, the landlord is not going to say, and the kids will pay this much.
Sorry that you haven't been around the single custodial parent who blows the child support on her pleasures... A new car...Or her weekly manicure, spa treatment. If you think it doesn't happen ..You are misguided. my former dil does blow the 1k she gets on herself. Her current husband owns outright the home and has his own business. So spare me how it's indirectly used to house,feed and clothe him. He is her cash cow.
Do those who are married, tell their toddlers, well pay up on the electric bill and car insurance. Nope! And why is that? Because the electric still needs paid and the adults are accountable for those leisures, not the kids.
Your paying to help support the child. That has NOTHING to do with visitation. If you want visitation and your being denied by the guardian.. go to court and get it.. its not rocket science.
Let me kindly enlighten you. Court ordered child support goes directly to the primary guardian.end of that tutorial.
I raised two sons. Child support was not ordered or demanded. I held two jobs. I didn't want their fathers financial support. The child support system is so lopsided .
Please go do research, ( I have !).And the courts refuse to direct that the funds to directly to the kids . If mom.wants to rent an apartment, the landlord is not going to say, and the kids will pay this much.
Sorry that you haven't been around the single custodial parent who blows the child support on her pleasures... A new car...Or her weekly manicure, spa treatment. If you think it doesn't happen ..You are misguided. my former dil does blow the 1k she gets on herself. Her current husband owns outright the home and has his own business. So spare me how it's indirectly used to house,feed and clothe him. He is her cash cow.
Do those who are married, tell their toddlers, well pay up on the electric bill and car insurance. Nope! And why is that? Because the electric still needs paid and the adults are accountable for those leisures, not the kids.
I am well aware that court ordered child support goes directly to the primary guardian. Do you really expect the money to go directly to a child? Really?
You raised two sons and you don't think it costs any more to raise a child than it does if you were a single person? Did you raise your children in a 1 bedroom apartment? Did you feed them? Clothe them? Get them school supplies? Take them to the doctor? Transport them to activities, etc? Surely you don't really believe this.
I am sorry that your former dil doesn't spent her child support the way you think it should be spent. If she is taking care of your grandchildren you should be grateful. Hopefully you and your son are very involved in the childrens lives and give your dil time to herself. A single mom certainly needs a treat occasionally - whether you agree or not. Just because your dil is remarried and her husband owns the house doesn't absolve your sons responsibiities to his children.
Good for you for raising two sons on your own but too bad that you had to. Just think what a better parent you could have been if your ex had helped to support them. You might not have had to work two jobs and would have had more time with your sons. It takes two people to make a child and both parents should support the children - physically, emotionally and financially. A single parent can't be both father and mother to a child without being overwhelmed.
Any man or woman that doesn't support their children is a deadbeat. End of story.
Last edited by Charlotteborn; 01-26-2017 at 09:56 PM..
The average child support payment in the U.S. is $430 per month. Raising a child is expensive. Not many women are out there living the high life because of child support payments.
Do you think a man or woman should be forced to pay child support to the custodial parent while no being allowed access to their children? I personally think if you have to pay child support you must be allowed to see you children, because any parent that cares enough to support their kid financially also wants to spend time with them in person. But I don't see why you should be forced to support a kid that you're not even allowed to see (either by the other parent or whoever).
As others have pointed out, in most cases, the connection between support and access is tenuous at best, if it is present at all. But, beyond that, I think your assumption that 'any parent that cares enough to support their child financially also wants to spend time with them in person' is not necessarily true. Not all parents want to spend time with their kids, married or divorced, supporting a child or children or not, regretfully. Not all parents are competent or able to spend time with their kids.
By the same token, if she thinks the father is a bad influence on the kids, well...she picked him to have kids with.
I have mixed feelings on this......to some extent I agree, because I'd be the first to admit that my daughter's father was NOT an ideal person to have a child with, and I might have realized this if I'd waited a bit before sleeping with him.
But then again, many of the reasons which I've felt he was a bad influence were things which took place well after things had ended between us.....one example being that he's since had several more children, most of whom have different mothers.
Let me kindly enlighten you. Court ordered child support goes directly to the primary guardian.end of that tutorial.
I raised two sons. Child support was not ordered or demanded. I held two jobs. I didn't want their fathers financial support. The child support system is so lopsided .
Please go do research, ( I have !).And the courts refuse to direct that the funds to directly to the kids . If mom.wants to rent an apartment, the landlord is not going to say, and the kids will pay this much.
Sorry that you haven't been around the single custodial parent who blows the child support on her pleasures... A new car...Or her weekly manicure, spa treatment. If you think it doesn't happen ..You are misguided. my former dil does blow the 1k she gets on herself. Her current husband owns outright the home and has his own business. So spare me how it's indirectly used to house,feed and clothe him. He is her cash cow.
Do those who are married, tell their toddlers, well pay up on the electric bill and car insurance. Nope! And why is that? Because the electric still needs paid and the adults are accountable for those leisures, not the kids.
I have known a lot of single mothers. They have had a hard time making ends meet. There are many expenses associated with raising kids. Things that the father's support doesn't take into account.
Imagine a single woman. She can rent a small apartment an hour away from work. She can work overtime for extra money, or get a job where overtime is frequent or the hours are irregular.
Imagine that single woman with kids. The small apt an hour away - gone. She has to rent a bigger place closer to work. The job for more money - gone. She can't get extra money working O.T., because she has to pick up the kids and do her second job at night...dinner, taking care of the kids, making sure they do homework, getting them to bed, doing their laundry.
Most single mothers live this way. They have a utility bill that is larger because there are kids there. The water bill is higher. The grocery bill is larger.
Some mothers spend the support on themselves, I'm sure.There are bad apples in every group. But don't paint single mothers as money grubbing self-serving narcissists who live only for themselves. That's not true.
The child support has to go to the primary guardian...it can't go to 10 year old kids. Minors can't "own" money or bank accounts or pay bills or decide what they should eat.
For those mothers who drive fancy sportscars while their kids wear rags to school (yeah, right)...but if they exist...the father chose her to make kids with. So he's stuck with that decision. Too late to complain now.
He can, if he wants, petition the court to become the primary guardian. Most dads don't want their lives cramped by being primary guardians, though, for the same reason that has hampered the single mother's life. It's also a big damper on his nights out as a Romeo.
For dads who don't want to pay child support, and think that sending over a bag of groceries instead will suffice, don't bother. What counts is the child support. A bag of groceries doesn't pay the light bill.
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