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Old 02-04-2017, 01:53 PM
 
3,047 posts, read 1,324,403 times
Reputation: 1810

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did the op ask the son whether or not he told the 40-year-old his age ?

he mite lie because he is already hiding the late-nite marathon fone sessions.

how does the op know that txts are being deleted ?

 
Old 02-04-2017, 02:19 PM
 
Location: Watervliet, NY
2,013 posts, read 508,262 times
Reputation: 3300
Quote:
Originally Posted by ncole1 View Post
Kids? She's 24 years older than him...for crying out loud. By the time he graduates college she will be near menopause...
She told him to wait until he was 18 before they try meeting in person. That's less than 2 years (he's 16 now) so she'd still be only 43-44.
 
Old 02-04-2017, 03:01 PM
 
2,283 posts, read 2,269,315 times
Reputation: 6972
Quote:
Originally Posted by emerald2 View Post
What if the kid is doing the sneaking on his own?

If she gets a call at 1215 AM, why is she going to say, "Is your mom OK that you called?"

She probably normally gets calls at that time, so it will not appear weird to her.

This whole situation could have been avoided if this 40 yr old woman hadn't given her phone number to a 16 yr old kid.

This isn't the case of an older family friend talking to OP's son, she's a online Stranger! What don't you get about that? Not to mention the fact her son should have been asleep, not chatting up a older married woman. Good for the OP for fixing this mess.
 
Old 02-04-2017, 03:28 PM
 
3,047 posts, read 1,324,403 times
Reputation: 1810
Quote:
Originally Posted by emerald2 View Post
Instead of looking for guilt, let's think about the reverse.

Say the boy called her at night and she didn't answer, but her mailbox was full, so it just kept ringing and ringing and ringing, but he thought if it rang 400 times, she would eventually give in and answer, so he let it ring all night.

Eventually, after 5 hours, he gave up and went to bed.

It would still show on the phone bill that it was a 5 hour call, but they never talked.

Doesn't that totally alter how you view the situation and yet, no one here seems to have considered that likely possibility.
on landlines you dont pay for ring time.
 
Old 02-04-2017, 06:22 PM
 
Location: West of Louisiana, East of New Mexico
2,262 posts, read 1,523,055 times
Reputation: 4986
Your son is sneaking around and deleting texts. He knows it's wrong or at least "off" in some way. Now at his age, he could easily have a physical relationship with this woman and suffer no ill effects. He may be ready for sex and simply found a willing partner.

The issue of course is that she's 40 and is likely trying to manipulate him beyond sex. I'm 30. If I was single, I'd have no problem being a boy-toy for a 40-something lady that wants to have fun. It's not an issue because I'm a grown man and have no illusions about what would be going on. She is capable of finding a 20 or 30-something man that is more than willing to do anything with her (conversation, dates, sex, video games etc.). Perhaps her husband isn't the best and she wants more control over her life. Either way, this needs to be handled soon. I'd probably resort to more clandestine means...perhaps getting law enforcement involved if needed.
 
Old 02-04-2017, 06:40 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
13,682 posts, read 7,022,798 times
Reputation: 19187
Quote:
Originally Posted by emerald2 View Post
Instead of looking for guilt, let's think about the reverse.

Say the boy called her at night and she didn't answer, but her mailbox was full, so it just kept ringing and ringing and ringing, but he thought if it rang 400 times, she would eventually give in and answer, so he let it ring all night.

Eventually, after 5 hours, he gave up and went to bed.

It would still show on the phone bill that it was a 5 hour call, but they never talked.

Doesn't that totally alter how you view the situation and yet, no one here seems to have considered that likely possibility.
In my experience, when a voicemail box is full, the phone is still "answered" with an automated message saying the mailbox is full. So no, I don't think a phone ringing hundreds of times for 5 hours is a likely possibility.

But as others have said, you do sound oddly defensive of the situation, enough to seem as if you have some personal involvement in it or at least in something similar.
 
Old 02-04-2017, 07:24 PM
Status: "On Break" (set 7 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
81,413 posts, read 91,857,189 times
Reputation: 28071
Quote:
Originally Posted by emerald2 View Post
It's probably different in interior Alaska where getting caught stranded in the winter could kill a 15-year old and not a 21-year old, but in normal climates, that's not the case.

There's very little an 18-year old can do that a 16-year old cannot.
Sure. Here are a few examples:
Vote
Have an unrestricted driver's license in most states
Buy cigarettes
Make legal contracts
Give permission for medical procedures

All trivial, I agree! /s
 
Old 02-04-2017, 07:52 PM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
6,988 posts, read 1,736,841 times
Reputation: 6989
Quote:
Originally Posted by ContraPagan View Post
And while he is living under their roof and they are paying to feed and clothe him and are paying for the phone he is using to talk to her in the middle of the night, they have the right to make the rules he has to live under. They could have stipulated that he could still talk to her, but it has to be during normal hours, and only in their earshot. They reserved the right to decide who their child can associate with, and they obviously decided this was not a healthy situation for him to he in. If he doesn't like that, he can move out after graduating high school (yeah, good luck trying to support himself with only a HS education!) and be free to make his own rules.


EXACTLY! At 16 they are not mature enough anyway. And I will make the rules for my children while they are living under my roof! Any parent who lets a 16 yr old do what ever they want are not parenting!
 
Old 02-04-2017, 11:38 PM
 
160 posts, read 39,346 times
Reputation: 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by ContraPagan View Post
IMO, NO ONE should be getting into an intimate relationship without first sitting down with the other person and ironing out EXACTLY how they are going to handle whatever results from that relationship, namely a pregnancy. If they can't handle such an unromantic, unsexy conversation they have no business taking their clothes off.

You know any 18 year olds who can handle that discussion? Me neither. There are too many older adults who can't handle it.

But there's no evidence that this friendship was an "intimate relationship"

Certain posters just chose to assume that.

Of course, their credibility amounts to a newspaper journalist who blows the smallest thing out of proportion because they need a story for the next day.
 
Old 02-04-2017, 11:48 PM
 
160 posts, read 39,346 times
Reputation: 48
Quote:
Originally Posted by ContraPagan View Post
And while he is living under their roof and they are paying to feed and clothe him and are paying for the phone he is using to talk to her in the middle of the night, they have the right to make the rules he has to live under. They could have stipulated that he could still talk to her, but it has to be during normal hours, and only in their earshot. They reserved the right to decide who their child can associate with, and they obviously decided this was not a healthy situation for him to he in. If he doesn't like that, he can move out after graduating high school (yeah, good luck trying to support himself with only a HS education!) and be free to make his own rules.


A lot of that is baloney though.

If you translate those phrases into a work environment, they could say "And while he is profiting from making money at our company and paying for the phone he is using to make money, we have the right to make the rules for his entire life. We can allow you to talk to friends, but we will monitor every conversation and have someone dispatched to enforce a curfew every night. We will decide who you are allowed to talk to and if we don't like one of your family members, we will make you disown them. If you don't like that, we'll fire you and have you blacklisted, (good luck trying to support yourself when we blacklist you) and you can make your own rules."

What rational adult would work under that environment, so why should we expect a teenager to do so?
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