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Interesting thread. I see it has been resolved. Just wanted to add one thing...
In all the opinions and scenarios offered, one important point from the original post was missed. The older woman was in the midst of a difficult divorce.
Sure, there are many other possibilities where none of the "facts" are true. But let's just look at this in another way - woman is who she says she is, has no malintent, etc..
The problem in this "best case" scenario is that the son and his family end up involved in the divorce proceedings. In any messy divorce, phone records are often subpoenaed. The son could be accused of being "the other man." Even if things are 100% innocent, you are still being put through a ton of trouble. My lawyer used to tell me horror stories... you never want to be dragged into a messy divorce. With all those phone calls on record, it may still happen.
Taking it up one notch on the conspiracy levels, the woman could intentionally be dragging the kid into this divorce situation for some unknown reason. Maybe she wants her husband to think there is something going on and the kid is the patsy.
This isn't to discount the other points made in this thread. Just pointing out that even if the situation is not as nefarious as some would like to believe, it is still fraught with danger.
Have her number blocked from your son's cell phone. Contact this women today and tell her to stop contacting your son. This relationship is not innocent and you are a naive Mom to think otherwise. Who cares about losing your Son's trust when he already lied to you.
Have her number blocked from your son's cell phone. Contact this women today and tell her to stop contacting your son. This relationship is not innocent and you are a naive Mom to think otherwise. Who cares about losing your Son's trust when he already lied to you.
It's always a good idea to read the latest parts of a long thread before you post. What you are suggesting has been done by the OP.
Have her number blocked from your son's cell phone. Contact this women today and tell her to stop contacting your son. This relationship is not innocent and you are a naive Mom to think otherwise. Who cares about losing your Son's trust when he already lied to you.
In case you missed it....
Originally Posted by Book Lover 21 View Post
OP here, sorry I couldn't log on yesterday, I was very busy.
So, we called the woman yesterday. She was very quiet, didn't talk much. Just "I understand".
Our son followed up with a text for her not to contact him anymore and blocked her number. I took a screenshot, just in case, as proof in writing where he says "I'm 16. We need to stop all contact."
He said this was the closest friendship he has ever had. Apparently, they really opened up to each other. He has friends his own age, but it sounds like 15/16 year old boys mostly talk about superficial things.
I asked him if they ever discussed meeting up. He said that she told him they would have to wait until he was 18. This tells me that A) she definitely knew how old he is and B) there must have been some kind of sexual intent, otherwise why would his age matter? C) THEY DISCUSSED MEETING UP!!! This really shook me up.
We are working on removing the landline, which is something I've wanted to do for years anyway. If we see that she has called/emailed or texted him somehow, we will go straight to her local police.
Our son said that the only thing that was more difficult and painful was losing his grandfather. This really broke my heart. He has such a big heart and a sweet soul.
I'm glad he is involved in a lot of school activities to keep him busy. I'm going to keep checking back with him to see how he is doing.
Sorry if I missed it but how did your son react when he learned that you had called her? If this was so painful yet he texted her to end it did he realize this was wrong?
If so, and this may sound strange, but I'm not so sure this was a bad thing for him seeing as it ended before it got too far. When I was his age I was clueless about women, this situation has tought him how to share emotions and develop his ability to communicate with woman. Please do not take this to mean I would encourage other boys to do this, just saying for this specific incident it may have helped his maturity.
My husband wants to call her just in case she isn't aware that he is only sixteen. I'm worried about losing our son's trust, but I see his point. I'm really not sure where to go from here.
Hey... your house, your rules. You absolutely have the right to squash this, and that includes contacting the woman and informing her to stay away from your underage son. Then you sit him down and tell him "when you are an adult, out on your own and paying your own bills, THEN you can do what you want. But until then, you have no say as long as you are living here and we are supporting you." That's quote, unquote what my father used to say to me if I was "behaving like a teenager." If she lived close enough that they could have been socializing face to face, I would have thrown in what my mother used to say to my brothers and me, "I'm NOT helping to raise a 2nd generation."
It's always a good idea to read the latest parts of a long thread before you post. What you are suggesting has been done by the OP.
Yes, it really annoys me when people come in at the end and it's obvious they haven't read through the thread. It's also true that these parenting threads tend to go on and on as everyone has to put their 2c worth in.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ContraPagan
Hey... your house, your rules. You absolutely have the right to squash this, and that includes contacting the woman and informing her to stay away from your underage son. Then you sit him down and tell him "when you are an adult, out on your own and paying your own bills, THEN you can do what you want. But until then, you have no say as long as you are living here and we are supporting you." That's quote, unquote what my father used to say to me if I was "behaving like a teenager." If she lived close enough that they could have been socializing face to face, I would have thrown in what my mother used to say to my brothers and me, "I'm NOT helping to raise a 2nd generation."
Could someone first find out if she is aware he is underage? All of this was on the telephone or via an online game. She may not know, or maybe she just learned via the long call. Once she is informed and confronted by one or bot parents, then ensure that there is no further contact and that you will contact law enforcement IF CONTACT CONTINUES.
Calling in the cops now is premature and could lead to problems too awful to contemplate.
Good point regarding the bold. I know a guy who ended up doing time for statutory because the girl lied about her age, and probably turned him in out of spite when she realized it wasn't going to go any farther.
This kid went behind his parents' back and used the landline after they took his cell phone away at night. I wonder what else he may be lying about.
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