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A few weeks ago our son casually mentioned that he has been chatting with a 40 year old woman online. I tried not to overreact. I asked him what they chat about. He said they both play the same online video game and initially, they just talked about that. Then it veered off into music, movies and books. Then she told him that she is in the midst of a difficult divorce. Sshe lives about 400 miles away.
We were really happy that he volunteered this information, which indicated he wasn't being secretive about it. We decided the best course was to keep the lines of communication open and just make sure he keeps us informed. We had a long talk about internet safety, cat fishing, etc.
We make him turn in his cellphone before bed every night, so he isn't up all hours of the night. My husband noticed that he does delete his text conversations with this woman.
So, yesterday we looked at the landline phone bill.
He has been talking to her on the phone in the middle of the night. Once, on a Monday night, he had a FIVE HOUR conversation with her. Twice, he had two hour conversations after midnight. This is all in the past two weeks.
We sat him down and confronted him with this. I did a search on Facebook of her phone number. She does have the name and age that she told him, but she still identifies as "married" on her FB profile. We have a difficult time believing that this "relationship" has not veered off into inappropriate territory. He swears up and down they are just friends. We are also concerned her husband is going to look at THEIR phone bill and try to find the person his wife has been chatting with in the middle of the night. I told my son that he needs to think hard about ending this. My husband said, "No thinking is required - END IT". I didn't want to be harsh, because usually that just causes teens to sneak around and do stuff behind your back.
My husband wants to call her just in case she isn't aware that he is only sixteen. I'm worried about losing our son's trust, but I see his point. I'm really not sure where to go from here.
I asked him if they ever discussed meeting up. He said that she told him they would have to wait until he was 18. This tells me that A) she definitely knew how old he is and B) there must have been some kind of sexual intent, otherwise why would his age matter? C) THEY DISCUSSED MEETING UP!!! This really shook me up.
If she really cared about him she would have said he needs to wait until he has a firmer grasp on the possible ramifications and consequences of an intimate relationship, like possible pregnancy. No way is an 18 year old able to pay a proper amount of child support.
Yeah because making the woman seem "forbidden" when he is probably going to college in 18 months and can travel ANYWHERE he wants is a GREAT idea!
He's 16, not 13.
And he's 16, not 18. Not that an 18 year is automatically a fully mature adult, but they do generally have more life skills and judgement earned over those two years, just like a 16 year is more mature than 13 year old.
oh, I had miss that little quoted gem when it was first posted.
I can't help but wonder if that person would be equally comfortable with a 40 year old man banging a 16 year old girl in order to turn her into a woman.
Courtney Stodden's parents were ok with her marrying Doug Hutchinson when she was 16 and he was 51. Sure, the public may have initially disapproved, but does anyone actually care anymore?
If she really cared about him she would have said he needs to wait until he has a firmer grasp on the possible ramifications and consequences of an intimate relationship, like possible pregnancy. No way is an 18 year old able to pay a proper amount of child support.
In that case, you're saying that no man of any age should be having "intimate relationships" with any woman of any age until he is able to pay the proper amount of child support. I'm not saying I disagree with you, but is that realistic?
I'm glad to see that the situation was resolved. I'm sure your son feels a loss because this woman was someone he felt comfortable enough to confide in and they developed an emotional bond. However this woman should not have spoken to him about meeting up, even after he turns 18. The state of her marriage is still unknown but she is still married. There is really no indication other than her words that the marriage is on the rocks- she could be looking for a little fling. There is also no indication about how the husband would react to this "friendship"- maybe he'd be all right with it, maybe he'd hurt the son.
And he's 16, not 18. Not that an 18 year is automatically a fully mature adult, but they do generally have more life skills and judgement earned over those two years, just like a 16 year is more mature than 13 year old.
There's very little difference between 16 and 18.
Most maturity comes from 10 to 15 and then again from 21 to 25.
If she really cared about him she would have said he needs to wait until he has a firmer grasp on the possible ramifications and consequences of an intimate relationship, like possible pregnancy. No way is an 18 year old able to pay a proper amount of child support.
Or maybe she just want to protect herself?
Why does everyone immediately assume that sex was the goal?
There's plenty of desperate older girls at your local bar if that was his goal.
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