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I just can't imagine that a 40 year old woman, which I was some years ago, in talking/texting/etc. would not realize that a male was 16 years old. Think about it.
I would probably call the police and make an inquiry. The parents now know that this relationship is going on and allowing it if it turns out to be what it looks like is going to make the parents look very neglectful if this thing progresses which it obviously will.
It appears to be at a level of obsession at this point on the son's part which should be stopped despite the age when someone is up at all hours as a child in their parent's home.
Quit rationalizing, seriously. You should have done this when he first told you weeks ago. What you accept you teach.
You as parents are his first line of defense. Quit second guessing the motives of this adult who has escalated the online "friendship" to personal phone calls and texts, which your son is now deleting.
Seriously, are you waiting until he runs off to meet this person.
Put it this way....If you had woken up in the middle of the night, and this 40 something person was standing in your son's bedroom....Would you have second guessed their motive or called the police. Do something.
Very sound advice. Situations like this can spiral out of control so quickly. Dealing with a teenager is challenging enough, but when he loses himself in the fact that an older woman (assuming that is the case) is showing him attention, his head takes up residence in the clouds.
Personal aside: As a high school freshman I vividly remember the attractive and sexy french teacher approximately 30 years old who leaned against the desk during the entire class. I was one of her go to students when nobody else raised their hand or contributed in any way, and the attention she showed me (all above board) made me think to myself that this must be a preview of what heaven may be like. Such are the workings of the teenage brain.
If the police go talk to this woman, who is inappropriately contacting this teen, having escalated from online gaming to middle of the night secretive phone calls and they find nothing sexual or explicit has happened it will go no further. She will get a warning.
How do you know that she knows she's talking to a 16 year old? You don't. What happens if it gets her fired from her job? If she doesn't know he's 16 and she thinks she's talking to an adult (OP said he has a deep voice) and how do we really know she's 40? Nobody ever lies online and on a facebook profile.
If he has formed some type of connection to this person then maybe he needs to talk to someone. Maybe more things are going on his life then his parents know and maybe a therapist can help.
So, yesterday we looked at the landline phone bill.
He has been talking to her on the phone in the middle of the night. Once, on a Monday night, he had a FIVE HOUR conversation with her. Twice, he had two hour conversations after midnight. This is all in the past two weeks.
I didn't know long-distance calls still cost extra money. Don't landline phone plans nowadays offer unlimited calling regardless of location (within the USA)?
I didn't know long-distance calls still cost extra money. Don't landline phone plans nowadays offer unlimited calling regardless of location (within the USA)?
It didn't cost extra. What shocked us was the length of the conversations. Thank goodness we have free long distance.
If the police go talk to this woman, who is inappropriately contacting this teen, having escalated from online gaming to middle of the night secretive phone calls and they find nothing sexual or explicit has happened it will go no further. She will get a warning.
No, she will then be on a list, a record of contact and investigation that very well could come back to bite her in the butt at some point.
It cracks me up when people think that when they sick the police on someone and they go out or call the person in "to talk" that that's the end of the matter.... News flash, IT'S NOT especially when it comes to things like this, you WILL be on a list and have a file.
There will be/is a record of the investigation that remains FOR LIFE. A deep background investigation can reveal these investigations and can in fact ruin someone especially if they're going for any job or has a job that requires security clearance.
A divorce could bring it out as well if the investigator digs enough. Private Detective or LEO to woman's coworkers: Did you see Mrs.X on any websites for kids or acting/saying anything that shows she takes interest in children? Were you aware Mrs.X was investigated for a sex abuse allegation? Did you see any behavior that might shed some light on it? Investigator leaves and within 10 minutes the whole office knows and her job is POOF gone even though there was nothing to it.
I don't get why adults can't act like adults (in situations such as this) and speak to the person they've got a problem with BEFORE calling in LEO's, unless there's some real indication violence could ensue from said call.
If it's legal in your state record the call in case future action needs to be taken, issue a stern warning and if it happens again then you've got solid reasons/evidence to call in LEO's, at that point the person clearly has brought it on themselves.
If it was a man contacting your 16 year old daughter, what would you do? This is no different. How many other parents have protected this woman in the past, so that she is still free to do this to your son? When you see those 16 year olds on Amber Alerts, believed to be with an older person they met online, and you wonder how did their parents not know this was happening? You know this is happening. You have a chance to stop any further damage being done to your child.
As for Mrs X's life being ruined - she took that chance when she decided to waste hours every night talking to a random stranger. Unless she has a very convincing case to prove he did a great job of misleading her on his age, she is the adult and she is at fault.
The attitude most of you are taking is absurd. In some states you can legally marry at 16, or at least could in the recent past. I think I don't need to have kids myself to have license to say this.
I think it's funny you think you will be able to control what your 16 yr old is doing. He will find a way if he wants to continue the relationship. To be frank at 16 he is old enough to know what he wants. You really think his mentality will change any in two years when he's an adult, doubtfull.
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