How do I get my 23-year-old son to move out of my house? (toys, wife)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You're saying it's my fault that he hasn't moved out? Last time I checked, adults were responsible for their own actions. Honestly, I'm quite jealous of your parents, because they were blessed with a responsible child who made smart decisions.
Yes, adults are responsible for their own actions, and you as an adult have not taken responsibly for your actions. You brought a child up and did nothing to prepare him to join the work force, by evidence of your own post.
The big question you have to answer, are you going to become a fully functioning parent and offer useful and productive guidance to your child, or are you going to kick him out like a divorce?
Yes, adults are responsible for their own actions, and you as an adult have not taken responsibly for your actions. You brought a child up and did nothing to prepare him to join the work force, by evidence of your own post.
Oh lordy, sometimes I'm extremely happy that I never had kids. All I know is that my brother never wanted to grow up and lived off of my mother until the day she died. He was in his 30's when I bought him out of the house. He went through the first part of his inheritance and I waited a year to give him the second installment. In the meantime he went into the military and was kicked out a couple of weeks later. I totally gutted the house so he had no place to live. He moved in with friends. I gave him his money and never saw him again. It was never going to be my turn to baby sit.
I don't blame you one bit for wanting your life back 1to1, but I have to agree that you could have handled it better. People have their own time line on which they grow up and your son's is out of sync with your expectations. He is not wrong and you are not wrong. I'd say find a better way to work with what you have and help him prepare. I see my friend's 23 year old that still lives at home and is in college. There's no way he could take care of himself right now. He is in the military and will be deployed after college.
I had another friend that rented an apartment for her mentally ill son because her husband told her that it was him or her son. She changed the locks on the house and left him with a note and key on the front door as to where he would be living. He broke in the house and destroyed everything he could get his hands on of his step father's. That was not handled well at all.
Oh and btw, 53 is not old I hope you find a way to work it out that doesn't destroy your relationship.
It does not make one whit of difference how many people do or not still live at home at any given age. The bottom line is that you deem it appropriate for him to get out. If you can help him make a plan and exit strategy, great. If not, slightly less great. But the bottom line is you have every right and every sensible reason to insist he leave by whatever legal means are at your disposal.
Poor guy for having a mom like you... That's explains a lot why he is having difficulties to find a better job and finding someone to share an appartment.
You should look for psychological help for both, you cerntaily caused emotional problems for him, and it's quite clear that you have serious issues too.
I just don't get it. My parents NEVER tried to push us out. We had our freedom to come and go and we contributed to the household. My brother was in his 30's when he got married and THEN moved out. I was 27 when I got married and THEN moved out. I don't get these parents that try to push their kids out especially at a young age (yes, 23 IS young) and they're not even making that much money to support themselves.
I sense no loving relationship at all.
Are you from another culture, bellakin? The live-at-home-until-marriage thing is more of an Old World tradition. And the flip side of that is that having a parent move in with you later in life, to get needed support and care from adult, married children. I wonder how well set for retirement and old age and infirmity the OP is.
I think it's not unusual for a new grad to need a year or maybe two, to find their niche--a "real" job that pays enough for independent living. Just because he's living with mom now, doesn't mean he'll still be there when he's 40. Working with him to develop a timeline and a plan would be helpful. Engaging in a constructive way, vs. issuing an ultimatum out of the blue, would be helpful. Or maybe he has friends with a spare room he can afford to pay for? Something like that would be another option.
Techncally he is a tenant and many parents have had to evict their *in theory* adult children.
Just because you have not experienced it does not make it false.
Techncally he is a tenant and many parents have had to evict their *in theory* adult children.
Just because you have not experienced it does not make it false.
unless he paid part of the rent, he is not a tenant but a guest of the house owner
guests can be kicked out and when they refuse to leave, the cops will remove them as they are trespassing
not sure what op meant by he contributes to household, might make him a tenant or not, if he bought food for the fridge as contribute vs paying bills
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.