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I feel like people look down on me or just can't relate to me or others who don't have kids.
I never really wanted one but now I'm 42 and regret it....now I can't have them physically (health issues and weight loss I'm working on) or financially. I'm really sick of people saying "You can still have one!" Just annoying and somewhat rude. It just seems like everyone is having kids now especially people my age or older that I never expected to and/or said they never wanted them. I feel like I'm less of a person. Although when I watch my friend dealing with their small kids at a restaurant....how they don't listen....cry....and friends seems so stressed, then I'm kind of glad I don't have them. Feel conflicted.
At my age (44) it's more a case of you're not trying hard enough to have them. That's the real shame. Financially, I can't afford them either but I'm not sure if the average person can, especially in this economy.
I never thought of not wanting kids as shameful. We have some Indian friends that told us that they are looked down on if they don't reproduce two years after marriage. Yikes, that seems extreme to me. Some of us are just not wired to want to reproduce. What's shameful is not being respected for not being born with baby fever. I like my choice because I have a lot of shorties in my life. They come and bring endless hours of amusement, then they go home to parents that have to deal with the day to day grind. I get all the fun
I feel like people look down on me or just can't relate to me or others who don't have kids.
I never really wanted one but now I'm 42 and regret it....now I can't have them physically (health issues and weight loss I'm working on) or financially. I'm really sick of people saying "You can still have one!" Just annoying and somewhat rude. It just seems like everyone is having kids now especially people my age or older that I never expected to and/or said they never wanted them. I feel like I'm less of a person. Although when I watch my friend dealing with their small kids at a restaurant....how they don't listen....cry....and friends seems so stressed, then I'm kind of glad I don't have them. Feel conflicted.
Well I certainly don't look down on you. The people I do look down on, are those who have children, but who are not willing (or able) to do (and pay for) everything their children need.
I feel like people look down on me or just can't relate to me or others who don't have kids.
I never really wanted one but now I'm 42 and regret it....now I can't have them physically (health issues and weight loss I'm working on) or financially. I'm really sick of people saying "You can still have one!" Just annoying and somewhat rude. It just seems like everyone is having kids now especially people my age or older that I never expected to and/or said they never wanted them. I feel like I'm less of a person. Although when I watch my friend dealing with their small kids at a restaurant....how they don't listen....cry....and friends seems so stressed, then I'm kind of glad I don't have them. Feel conflicted.
I agree. I don't feel like I'll ever have kids, and I'm mostly ok with that. I mean, I'm sure I am missing out on a lot by not having any, but if it wasn't meant to be, then it just wasn't meant to be. I don't want kids that badly and never really spend any time wishing that I had them, but I do think it would be easier to fit in with parents if I did have them. And of course as an adult, pretty much everyone you come into contact with is going to be a parent, so it can feel isolating if you're childless and/or don't particularly have any interest in children. But it's not "shameful" not to have children.
I never thought of not wanting kids as shameful. We have some Indian friends that told us that they are looked down on if they don't reproduce two years after marriage. Yikes, that seems extreme to me. Some of us are just not wired to want to reproduce. What's shameful is not being respected for not being born with baby fever. I like my choice because I have a lot of shorties in my life. They come and bring endless hours of amusement, then they go home to parents that have to deal with the day to day grind. I get all the fun
Couldn't rep you again & wanted to say that you are a great example of person who is childfree by choice, who respects other people & their right to choose.
You don't come off as a victim. Your confident in yourself & your choice & your not anti-child nor anti-parent. Thanks for your input!
At my age (44) it's more a case of you're not trying hard enough to have them. That's the real shame. Financially, I can't afford them either but I'm not sure if the average person can, especially in this economy.
Let's move to the most affordable location in the nation, and have kids together. Combined incomes, combined posting-on-city-data-forums power, it will be fun!
It's not about you anyway when you have kids. No one should have kids to pass their genes on to, or have someone to take care of them in old age, or to fulfill themselves. The only reason anyone should have a kid is to make that child happy he was born (and that does not mean spoiling him rotten).
I can't believe in 2017 people think it's hard to be child free. If you think people look down on you now, you should have tried telling them during the 70s and 80s that you didn't want kids, especially if you said you didn't want them because you didn't like them. If the 'poor you' solicitations didn't make you feel like an outcast, the verbal abuse was enough to make you run for the hills. At least today, people talk about not wanting or not having kids and no one (except a few old biddies) calls you abnormal anymore.
OP, I think this is something that has a lot less to do with having kids than it has to do with you accepting you may not give birth. And it's trite but true: no one can make you feel inferior without your permission. If you feel inferior because you don't have or can't have a child, that's a problem you need to take care of, because I have a sneaking suspicion that having a child isn't going to cure that. And you might also want to remember that the mothers who do try to make you feel inferior are usually the ones who are so miserable having their own kids that they want everyone to be as miserable as they are. Women who are truly happy to be mothers don't feel the need to put any non-mothers down or make anyone else feel inferior just because that someone else didn't give birth or isn't raising a child.
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