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Old 02-06-2017, 06:14 PM
 
10,207 posts, read 7,299,340 times
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I personally think we should all replace ourselves in this world or face extinction. I love big families. I'm so sorry, OP, that you regret not having kids. You'd probably be a great positive role model. There are ways to contribute like volunteering to cuddle drug addicted babies, a sad epidemic in today's world. Big sisters is another way to impact the life of a kid who just needs to know someone cares. You have much to contribute. Someone out there needs you.
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Old 02-06-2017, 06:42 PM
 
2,173 posts, read 1,190,143 times
Reputation: 2807
Quote:
I feel like people look down on me or just can't relate to me or others who don't have kids.
Do you feel like you relate easily to people who do have kids? I think in general, some people find it difficult to relate-- *truly* relate-- to people in different life situations. I have friends with and without kids, and some of my friends are easier to relate to than others, for a variety of reasons. So I'm guessing that even if it's true these people can't really relate to you, you probably can't relate to them on that same level either.

As far as looking down on you, in my experience, that goes both ways, too. Some people just look down on others just because they've made different choices and therefore must be "wrong." Others don't think that way.

I think focusing on helping yourself feel comfortable with your decisions and your situation in life will change your perspective of what others might be thinking about you and you won't even be thinking about the possible opinions of others. If you're getting the vibe that others aren't connecting with you because you don't have kids, think about what you're putting out there. If you feel anxious or conflicted or maybe feel less confident about your choices in life, others can sense that and they'll likely respond accordingly. Be confident in your decision and act like you are happy with it. Fake it, if you will, and it will likely make a difference in how you perceive yourself (which will change the vibe you get from others). Or, if you really are unhappy and realize you want a child, do whatever you can to make something happen. If you don't like your situation, do whatever is in your power to change it.
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Old 02-06-2017, 07:44 PM
 
2,079 posts, read 2,452,043 times
Reputation: 3947
no.

in fact, most people are not fit to reproduce nowadays, but they do anyway. that is shameful all by itself.
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Old 02-06-2017, 07:47 PM
 
Location: IN
20,089 posts, read 34,247,428 times
Reputation: 12438
With the direction this country keeps heading, I really don't know why most people would consider having kids at all.
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Old 02-06-2017, 07:55 PM
 
2,953 posts, read 1,345,162 times
Reputation: 5292
I had a party the day after I got out of the hospital after having a hysterectomy.

No more worrying about getting pregnant, periods etc.

Never had the baby gene, even as a little kid. Played with Barbie dolls not baby dolls.

Now with all the crap going on in the world, rejoice I didn't bring kids into it.

How I grew up, life with its innocence ended in the early 70's.
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Old 02-06-2017, 08:56 PM
 
Location: Southwest
1,523 posts, read 921,094 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jojo775 View Post
I never really wanted one but now I'm 42 and regret it....now I can't have them physically (health issues and weight loss I'm working on) or financially.

Seems like it is best not to try if one's supporting a child financially is questionable. Sub-par finances will strain a parent. Then, there's the issue providing a good life for the child.
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Old 02-06-2017, 11:01 PM
 
4 posts, read 2,547 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jojo775 View Post
I feel like people look down on me or just can't relate to me or others who don't have kids.
I never really wanted one but now I'm 42 and regret it....now I can't have them physically (health issues and weight loss I'm working on) or financially. I'm really sick of people saying "You can still have one!" Just annoying and somewhat rude. It just seems like everyone is having kids now especially people my age or older that I never expected to and/or said they never wanted them. I feel like I'm less of a person. Although when I watch my friend dealing with their small kids at a restaurant....how they don't listen....cry....and friends seems so stressed, then I'm kind of glad I don't have them. Feel conflicted.
I deal with this all the time. I will be 32 this year and I feel that my time is running out. I fear that I will not be able to financially or emotionally support a child. I told myself that "I won't have them, if I can't do it right" Besides, I low-key think I have some impending health problems myself.

I am sorry about your regret though. I will just say pray about it (if you believe in prayer).
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Old 02-06-2017, 11:43 PM
 
2,091 posts, read 1,114,082 times
Reputation: 4235
Quote:
Originally Posted by StAcKhOuSe View Post
no.

in fact, most people are not fit to reproduce nowadays, but they do anyway. that is shameful all by itself.
History is filled with peasants out breeding the nobles by large margins. Gotten us this far just fine. Pretty sure judgmental nitwits back then made comments about breeding like rats, rabbits or whatever just like today.
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Old 02-07-2017, 09:04 AM
 
Location: Long Neck , DE
4,903 posts, read 2,716,783 times
Reputation: 8001
If someone were hassling me about not having kids I might very well throw the "state of the world" argument at them as a very good reason to not bring a child into the present day world.
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Old 02-07-2017, 09:25 AM
 
Location: Northern NJ
7,372 posts, read 7,278,050 times
Reputation: 10516
Quote:
Originally Posted by jojo775 View Post
I can't afford to adopt or a surrogate.
Money is not the issue, you are simply too old. And you do know that. You wake up every day, you look in the mirror, you know your energy level, and your health, and your motivation. And while all of that is enough, the bigger reason is you will be an old fart needing care and maintenance when your hypothetical kids are 24 and start their life journey and their own families. That's just wrong. To everything there is a time, and at 42, the time for having babies is way past over.
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