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My little girl is 14 months old and has been with me exclusively since birth. She is very attached to me, advanced for her age in mobility and language, and she seems confident and happy. Once a week we attend a Little Gym class, where she thrives and which she thoroughly enjoys. Aside from her father and I, she has only ever been cared for by her grandmothers for brief periods of time once in a great while and she has never been in childcare.
I work from home as a transcriptionist, a mind numbing but not overly stressful job, although it doesn't pay very well. I work during the night while my child sleeps, since she does not allow me to work while she is awake. I nap for a few hours here and there whenever I can, and I don't get much sleep myself. It was extremely difficult when she was a newborn but things have gotten better as she's grown older. However, I am never functioning at 100% and I worry that even the loving care I provide my child, which is the best that I can under the circumstances, is substandard at times due to the chronic exhaustion. Now that she is older, I'm having difficulty maintaining the energy and positivity she needs from me.
I do also want to mention that as the mother of a small child, I work not to maintain a lifestyle, but because I have no choice. My husband does not make enough to support us, and we literally could not afford the cheapest apartment on his income alone. I want to mention that we do not take vacations or travel, or own expensive cars or electronics, or buy nice things, or owe on credit card debt, etc. I feel this is important to make clear - that I am not choosing to work but that I am obligated to work.
Having said this, I now have a choice before me. I can either go on as things are, working all night and taking care of my child during the day, or I can secure a place for her in a Montessori school program, which would allow me to find a more traditional, better paying job and to sleep during the night. The Montessori school has a program for toddlers beginning at 18 months old, with one well-qualified teacher for every four children. The program is 7 hours per day, and they have an opening for 5 days a week at 18 months old, or for 3 days a week at 24 months old. Cost is a factor, although once I find a better (higher-paying) job, it would be manageable, and quality education is the one thing we are willing to sacrifice to afford.
Another factor to consider is that the public schools in our city are not very good, to put it mildly, and there is fierce competition for charter schools, as well as scandals involving certain charter schools. By placing my child in the Montessori school and keeping her there throughout her elementary years, we can bypass the public school. In addition, she has a serious peanut allergy and the Montessori school prepares all their food onsite free of nuts, and does not allow any food brought from home. While I realize it's not a guarantee she will never encounter a peanut M&M or Reese's Pieces, it is an added layer of protection.
I need to act soon to secure her a place in the Montessori school, to begin either full time when she is 18 months old or part time when she is 24 months old. However, I worry and wonder if these ages are too young to separate baby from mother if it can possibly be avoided, and I want to do the best thing for her. I have read nothing but positive reviews of the school and of the Montessori curriculum in general, and my gut feeling is that my little girl will love it and thrive in that environment. But still, I worry.
What would YOU do, if you had the choice for your toddler between a high-quality Montessori program or the exclusive attention of a devoted and loving but overly exhausted mother? Has anyone experienced Montessori care for toddlers? Thank you for any advice.
Oh, Frgy, you don't really have a choice. It sounds like your daughter will adapt well to Montessori. Your theory about her being better off there in the long term, plus safer from peanuts there, is sound. Your exhaustion is REAL! and it won't get better. If she goes enrolls for five days a week, nothing says she has to go all day every day. You can keep her home at your discretion. If five days is too many, you can drop back to three.
I think you make a very good case for enrolling her. You aren't making a lifetime commitment. If your circumstances change, or it doesn't work out for some unforseen reason, you can always change your plan. The worst thing that could happen is you withdraw her. No lasting harm will come of that.
Oh, Frgy, you don't really have a choice. It sounds like your daughter will adapt well to Montessori. Your theory about her being better off there in the long term, plus safer from peanuts there, is sound. Your exhaustion is REAL! and it won't get better. If she goes enrolls for five days a week, nothing says she has to go all day every day. You can keep her home at your discretion. If five days is too many, you can drop back to three.
I think you make a very good case for enrolling her. You aren't making a lifetime commitment. If your circumstances change, or it doesn't work out for some unforseen reason, you can always change your plan. The worst thing that could happen is you withdraw her. No lasting harm will come of that.
It sounds like a win/win to me!
I agree completely.
While you did not go into details about your husband's job or attitude, I would wonder about a loving husband & father who expects his wife to care for their child all day and then work a full time job when she should be sleeping and caring for her own health and physical needs. IMHO, few hours of sleep "here and there" is not healthy for any length of time, certainly not for months or even years.
I hope that your husband is also investigating ways to increase his income so that the majority of the burden of childrearing, plus working to earn money, do not just fall on your shoulders. Marriage is a partnership.
Good luck, it sounds like a very difficult situation right now.
Last edited by germaine2626; 02-19-2017 at 07:02 AM..
My little girl is 14 months old and has been with me exclusively since birth. She is very attached to me, advanced for her age in mobility and language, and she seems confident and happy. Once a week we attend a Little Gym class, where she thrives and which she thoroughly enjoys. Aside from her father and I, she has only ever been cared for by her grandmothers for brief periods of time once in a great while and she has never been in childcare.
I work from home as a transcriptionist, a mind numbing but not overly stressful job, although it doesn't pay very well. I work during the night while my child sleeps, since she does not allow me to work while she is awake. I nap for a few hours here and there whenever I can, and I don't get much sleep myself. It was extremely difficult when she was a newborn but things have gotten better as she's grown older. However, I am never functioning at 100% and I worry that even the loving care I provide my child, which is the best that I can under the circumstances, is substandard at times due to the chronic exhaustion. Now that she is older, I'm having difficulty maintaining the energy and positivity she needs from me.
I do also want to mention that as the mother of a small child, I work not to maintain a lifestyle, but because I have no choice. My husband does not make enough to support us, and we literally could not afford the cheapest apartment on his income alone. I want to mention that we do not take vacations or travel, or own expensive cars or electronics, or buy nice things, or owe on credit card debt, etc. I feel this is important to make clear - that I am not choosing to work but that I am obligated to work.
Having said this, I now have a choice before me. I can either go on as things are, working all night and taking care of my child during the day, or I can secure a place for her in a Montessori school program, which would allow me to find a more traditional, better paying job and to sleep during the night. The Montessori school has a program for toddlers beginning at 18 months old, with one well-qualified teacher for every four children. The program is 7 hours per day, and they have an opening for 5 days a week at 18 months old, or for 3 days a week at 24 months old. Cost is a factor, although once I find a better (higher-paying) job, it would be manageable, and quality education is the one thing we are willing to sacrifice to afford.
Another factor to consider is that the public schools in our city are not very good, to put it mildly, and there is fierce competition for charter schools, as well as scandals involving certain charter schools. By placing my child in the Montessori school and keeping her there throughout her elementary years, we can bypass the public school. In addition, she has a serious peanut allergy and the Montessori school prepares all their food onsite free of nuts, and does not allow any food brought from home. While I realize it's not a guarantee she will never encounter a peanut M&M or Reese's Pieces, it is an added layer of protection.
I need to act soon to secure her a place in the Montessori school, to begin either full time when she is 18 months old or part time when she is 24 months old. However, I worry and wonder if these ages are too young to separate baby from mother if it can possibly be avoided, and I want to do the best thing for her. I have read nothing but positive reviews of the school and of the Montessori curriculum in general, and my gut feeling is that my little girl will love it and thrive in that environment. But still, I worry.
What would YOU do, if you had the choice for your toddler between a high-quality Montessori program or the exclusive attention of a devoted and loving but overly exhausted mother? Has anyone experienced Montessori care for toddlers? Thank you for any advice.
I faced a similar choice - actually, almost identical - many years ago and went with a compromise where I used an inexpensive part-time preschool for mornings only or alternate days and worked while he was at the school. I was happy with that as far as it let me continue to spend a lot of time with him. Is there something affordable that would allow you to do that?
I also had to decide at one point between Montessori and public school. I went with public mainly because I didn't want to work long hours to pay for the Montessori and then not see my child. Although I can't know for sure, I think that may have been a mistake. A good Montessori education would have been so much better than my son's public school experience.
I know a lot of moms who work full-time, and a few of them feel guilty about it, but many are perfectly happy. And as for feeling guilty, I feel guilty for sending my child to a lousy public school, so I think guilt is inevitable no matter what you do. If you're that exhausted, Montessori sounds like a great idea. It really is a spectacular education for many students. One way you could compromise a little might be to wait until she is just a bit older, which would make separation easier (unless she's the type who has no problem with it anyway).
Sleep is so important. It will be an adjustment for you both but I'm sure she'll do great in her Montessori program and you'll be more awake and fully available for her when you're home from work and she's home from school.
My little girl is 14 months old and has been with me exclusively since birth. She is very attached to me, advanced for her age in mobility and language, and she seems confident and happy. Once a week we attend a Little Gym class, where she thrives and which she thoroughly enjoys. Aside from her father and I, she has only ever been cared for by her grandmothers for brief periods of time once in a great while and she has never been in childcare.
I work from home as a transcriptionist, a mind numbing but not overly stressful job, although it doesn't pay very well. I work during the night while my child sleeps, since she does not allow me to work while she is awake. I nap for a few hours here and there whenever I can, and I don't get much sleep myself. It was extremely difficult when she was a newborn but things have gotten better as she's grown older. However, I am never functioning at 100% and I worry that even the loving care I provide my child, which is the best that I can under the circumstances, is substandard at times due to the chronic exhaustion. Now that she is older, I'm having difficulty maintaining the energy and positivity she needs from me.
I do also want to mention that as the mother of a small child, I work not to maintain a lifestyle, but because I have no choice. My husband does not make enough to support us, and we literally could not afford the cheapest apartment on his income alone. I want to mention that we do not take vacations or travel, or own expensive cars or electronics, or buy nice things, or owe on credit card debt, etc. I feel this is important to make clear - that I am not choosing to work but that I am obligated to work.
Having said this, I now have a choice before me. I can either go on as things are, working all night and taking care of my child during the day, or I can secure a place for her in a Montessori school program, which would allow me to find a more traditional, better paying job and to sleep during the night. The Montessori school has a program for toddlers beginning at 18 months old, with one well-qualified teacher for every four children. The program is 7 hours per day, and they have an opening for 5 days a week at 18 months old, or for 3 days a week at 24 months old. Cost is a factor, although once I find a better (higher-paying) job, it would be manageable, and quality education is the one thing we are willing to sacrifice to afford.
Another factor to consider is that the public schools in our city are not very good, to put it mildly, and there is fierce competition for charter schools, as well as scandals involving certain charter schools. By placing my child in the Montessori school and keeping her there throughout her elementary years, we can bypass the public school. In addition, she has a serious peanut allergy and the Montessori school prepares all their food onsite free of nuts, and does not allow any food brought from home. While I realize it's not a guarantee she will never encounter a peanut M&M or Reese's Pieces, it is an added layer of protection.
I need to act soon to secure her a place in the Montessori school, to begin either full time when she is 18 months old or part time when she is 24 months old. However, I worry and wonder if these ages are too young to separate baby from mother if it can possibly be avoided, and I want to do the best thing for her. I have read nothing but positive reviews of the school and of the Montessori curriculum in general, and my gut feeling is that my little girl will love it and thrive in that environment. But still, I worry.
What would YOU do, if you had the choice for your toddler between a high-quality Montessori program or the exclusive attention of a devoted and loving but overly exhausted mother? Has anyone experienced Montessori care for toddlers? Thank you for any advice.
I think Montesorri schools are great for young kids. The only problem I see is having to front the money for the school tuition before having a job in hand. I would not wait; I'd get moving on this.
Many moms work now; doing so is common. You will have to find child care for her after school though.
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