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Old 03-08-2017, 12:14 PM
 
Location: Charlotte Area
2,765 posts, read 2,431,214 times
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My daughter is 7 and 2 months ago she got something stuck in her ear.She was hysterical and thought she was "going to die". She made herself sick to the point of throwing up. She ended up having to have it surgically removed. She is fine and so is her ear. She has a follow up appt in May.

Fast forward to this past Saturday. I went to the store and DH was outside working in the yard and the kids were helping him. I come home and he tells me that E had thrown up while I was gone. There's been a lot of sickness going around the school so I figured maybe she caught something. She ate dinner that night but was up through the night. She didn't get sick and she didn't have a fever nor any other symptoms just couldn't sleep. She was fine the next morning (Sunday) and ate breakfast. She went out with her grandparents and DH ended up having to pick her up from the movie as she told MIL that her stomach hurt and that she felt like she was going to vomit. She came home and laid down and felt well enough later that she wanted to go outside and play. We wouldn't let her.

She went to school on Monday and I get a call from the school nurse. Her stomach hurts. I tell nurse what has been going on. She goes back to class and I never get another call. She comes home and goes outside and plays for 2 hours with some friends. Stomach hurts again but she eats a little dinner and goes to bed. Tuesday I get another call from the TA. Her stomach hurts again. I explain it all to TA. I don't get another call again.

I sat E down when she got home from school yesterday and asked her what was going on. She told me that she was really worried and scared about the doctors appt that isn't until May. It's a follow up so the ENT can make sure her hear is healing good and that she can hear. She's also worried about cars coming into the cul-de-sac at night and she worries about the car doors she hears as well. Her bedroom faces the cul-de-sac. We have a dog that she knows would bark if anyone came near our house. She also told me that she is worried about coming home from school one day and me not being here. That has never happened nor would it.

I contacted the school psychologist to see if she could meet with her 1:1. E is already comfortable with her as she is in a friendship group that the psychologist runs weekly at her school.

These worries (not the doc appt but the noises she hears)happen once a year. Usually around this time. Is this a normal thing that all kids go through at these ages? If this happened to you when your kids were young how did you help them? I had her draw some pictures yesterday so she drew a couple. It seemed to help a bit but then last night she was up a few times. I finally told her to sleep in her brothers bedroom. He has bunk beds so the top bunk is free. She did for awhile but then it was to dark in there.

HELP!!
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Old 03-08-2017, 12:20 PM
 
Location: here
23,614 posts, read 26,339,287 times
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I'm not sure I have any advice, but kudos for recognizing it for what it is. I had a lot of anxiety as a kid, and never got treatment, or even realized what it was until my 30's. See if you can get a referral to a therapist.
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Old 03-08-2017, 01:29 PM
 
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My daughter went through a similar phase when she was 9 or 10 and in 4th grade. Your daughter is younger than that, but I think that it happens when it dawns on a child that their parents can't fix everything. In your daughter's case, you weren't able to get the object out of her ear and it was very scary. My daughter's episode was triggered by my brother letting her watch I Am Legend, which starts with a father watching his wife and daughter die in a helicopter crash and goes down hill from there. (Thanks, Bro.) Anyway, we did a couple of sessions with a therapist and I talked about it with both her teacher and school counselor. Her main fear was that something was going to happen to me, so one of the things the school let her do was call me when she felt anxious. That only happened a couple of times.

This went on for about 3 or 4 weeks, but it felt like forever. She went through a bit of it again in middle school after watching an episode of The Walking Dead. She has a very fertile imagination and even though she was old enough to know it wasn't real, she was still sure that zombies were in the house. I took her back to the therapist for a couple of visits and she was fine. She still won't watch a scary movie or television show.

Stay calm and keep reassuring her. Don't downplay her fears, but be matter of fact that her imagination is getting the best of her. Assure her that she will not always feel like this. Watch funny movies together, or do things to get her out of the house and make her laugh. Make an appointment with a therapist who has experience with childhood anxiety, if only so that your daughter knows you're taking the situation seriously and that there are things you can do that will make her feel better.

Best of luck to you.
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Old 03-08-2017, 01:34 PM
 
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I would skip the school psychologist and find a child therapist that can help you and her. First, school psychologists aren't really meant to be a one on one therapist for children. They are more like consultants for processes like IEP or 504 (which she may need).

But more so, anxiety in kids is an iceberg. You see only a very little bit. It was good she explained what was causing her fears. But you cant talk kids out of them. You have to really work through them.

When my son was 7 he ended up going on medication (Zoloft) for anxiety. It ended his migraines (1-2x a week, with vomiting). Somatic symptoms are very common in kids with anxiety or depression.

There is great CBT that can really help kids learn to deal with anxiety. I would strongly suggest it.

(mom of 2 kids with anxiety disorders, and fostered 2 with anxiety disorders)
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Old 03-08-2017, 03:44 PM
 
1,937 posts, read 668,613 times
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This seems very normal to me. I wouldn't take her to a therapist.

See if you can get an appt to see the ENT in the next few days. Explain what is going on and have her go in and just talk to the doc. That way she isn't upset for the next two months. It'll get that initial follow-up over with. Yes you will have to take her back again for the real check-up, but hopefully it will get rid of the anxiety.

The two other things seem more along the lines of normal kid stuff. Maybe ask her what would help at night. A flashlight? A small baseball bat? A magic sprayer? A new stuffed animal? A new window covering? Try to address her fears in a way that makes HER feel in charge of it.

Not sure about the dog tho. Did a friend of hers recently lose a pet?
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Old 03-08-2017, 04:05 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
10,299 posts, read 16,619,888 times
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I'm wondering if you've noticed any change in physical habits during the time when the anxiety is the worst. Things to look for would be unusual amounts of dirty clothes, water on the bathroom floor, going through large amounts of toilet paper, etc. Also kids wanting to confess very minor things they've done (for example, accidentally putting up the middle finger) or asking for reassurance all the time.

She could just be going through a fearful stage, or it could be the beginning of something more. The only reason I mention it is that you said it happens around the same time every year. That's how my daughter's OCD started out.
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Old 03-08-2017, 04:12 PM
 
Location: Charlotte Area
2,765 posts, read 2,431,214 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newtovenice View Post
This seems very normal to me. I wouldn't take her to a therapist.

See if you can get an appt to see the ENT in the next few days. Explain what is going on and have her go in and just talk to the doc. That way she isn't upset for the next two months. It'll get that initial follow-up over with. Yes you will have to take her back again for the real check-up, but hopefully it will get rid of the anxiety.

The two other things seem more along the lines of normal kid stuff. Maybe ask her what would help at night. A flashlight? A small baseball bat? A magic sprayer? A new stuffed animal? A new window covering? Try to address her fears in a way that makes HER feel in charge of it.

Not sure about the dog tho. Did a friend of hers recently lose a pet?
She came to me a few minutes ago and told me that her ENT appt is the thing she is most worried about and asked if we could move it up. I told her I would check and see and called the office 2 minutes before they closed. They moved up the appt from May to Monday morning at 9am. I checked with her before I made the change. I still plan to have her talk to the school psychologist. She's been very helpful to my daughter in the friendship group and she's comfortable with her.
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Old 03-08-2017, 04:20 PM
 
Location: Charlotte Area
2,765 posts, read 2,431,214 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
I'm wondering if you've noticed any change in physical habits during the time when the anxiety is the worst. Things to look for would be unusual amounts of dirty clothes, water on the bathroom floor, going through large amounts of toilet paper, etc. Also kids wanting to confess very minor things they've done (for example, accidentally putting up the middle finger) or asking for reassurance all the time.

She could just be going through a fearful stage, or it could be the beginning of something more. The only reason I mention it is that you said it happens around the same time every year. That's how my daughter's OCD started out.
No, I haven't noticed any of the bathroom things but she has been following me around the last couple of days. If I take the dog out she comes out to ask me if I am going to take him on a walk. That's not something she usually does.

She is my child that will "make up" that something hurts to get out of doing something she doesn't want to do. She started this at 5. It's always her head or her stomach...things you can't prove hurt or don't hurt on someone. She admitted to it telling me her head/stomach hurt one morning when she didn't want to go on the summer camp field trip to the roller rink.

In this case though I believe that she has herself in such a frenzy that it is making her stomach hurt.
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Old 03-08-2017, 04:29 PM
 
1,937 posts, read 668,613 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Riley09swb View Post
She came to me a few minutes ago and told me that her ENT appt is the thing she is most worried about and asked if we could move it up. I told her I would check and see and called the office 2 minutes before they closed. They moved up the appt from May to Monday morning at 9am. I checked with her before I made the change. I still plan to have her talk to the school psychologist. She's been very helpful to my daughter in the friendship group and she's comfortable with her.
Oh that's great. Hopefully that can alleviate the one point of anxiety.
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Old 03-08-2017, 04:30 PM
 
8,971 posts, read 5,093,104 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Riley09swb View Post
No, I haven't noticed any of the bathroom things but she has been following me around the last couple of days. If I take the dog out she comes out to ask me if I am going to take him on a walk. That's not something she usually does.

She is my child that will "make up" that something hurts to get out of doing something she doesn't want to do. She started this at 5. It's always her head or her stomach...things you can't prove hurt or don't hurt on someone. She admitted to it telling me her head/stomach hurt one morning when she didn't want to go on the summer camp field trip to the roller rink.

In this case though I believe that she has herself in such a frenzy that it is making her stomach hurt.
It isn't "making it up". They are using that behavior to communicate that they are afraid or overwhelmed. Its a way to get a parent to listen, when they don't have the words or the parent tends not to listen and validate.
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