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I think all the people who are advocating biting children should google it. Too much evidence proving you should not bite your child to even bother posting. Just google "should I bite my child back".
Right...it teaches your child that if they do x or y, you are going to injure them. That is what I said. It doesn't teach empathy, it teaches aggression.
She's FOUR. She is old enough to understand the concept of consequences for one's actions, especially when those actions hurt someone else unnecessarily. She is also old enough to understand the concept of keeping her hands, feet and all of her other body parts to herself.
If it was my kid getting bitten, the hell I wouldn't be telling him to haul off and belt her one, preferably right in the mouth. That is not aggression, it is self-defense, and letting the real aggressor know that her presence is not welcome in his air space if she isn't going to behave.
x 1,000,000. Obviously HFB is one of those people who makes excuses for everyone, no matter how badly they behave.
It's just that no one knows what goes on in people's homes. If people say they bit their child just once who had a prohlem with biting that did not stop and they could not stop, not hard or abuse level, and it made their child stop and their child is perfectly fine today... I will believe them. Not everything is some controversy.
I think all the people who are advocating biting children should google it. Too much evidence proving you should not bite your child to even bother posting. Just google "should I bite my child back".
I do agree that biting back is not great. It happens by instinct sometimes and seems to be fine. We do SOOO much incidentally that is "fine". When my son was tiny, he had a cold. SO I took my little dropper of saline to put a drop in his nose so I could loosen and suction the snot. I slipped/goofed/somethinged and shot the whole dropper of saline into his nose. He spluttered (didn't drown thankfully!) and sneezed out this giant ball of snot. I did not conclude from that the the pediatric recommendation for helping with congestion was to nearly drown my kid. Yes some people have responded in sort of instinctual shock at getting bitten by biting back. And lo and behold, the kid does not bite anyway. Very direct cause and effect demonstration!
It still would not be my go to choice because it is risky and unnecessary. With the little kids in the daycare, an interference of a bite in progress followed by the demonstration of "gentle touches" worked most often. With the older kids who had learned the wrong lesson that that gets their immediate wants met, again interceding in the act of biting followed by we don't bite others. WHEN you are able to be with other people, THEN you can resume playing. Removal from the scene. Then the 4-6 year old equivalent of how to advocate for your own wants and when it is appropriate is modeled and played a bit more often.
Rushing off for a dX without understanding if this was a learned behavior would not be my first go to either though. I have found that often the simplest explanation is often the truth. Eliminating straight up education is the first go to for this kind of problem. I have "cured" many biters whose only ailment was that they did not know how to deal with their world, their frustrations and understanding what was expected of them.
The most common reason for prolonged and persistent biting is sensory issues....that's how. I see you and the next poster don't actually know much about sensory problems in children.
If you are directing that at me, it's because I SMH at the propensity of "experts" to try to excuse bad behavior by slapping a disorder name onto it, when it is nothing more than plain old bad behavior that gets compounded by the unwillingness of the adults in the child's life to take their kid's antics in hand. Every single adult involved in this situation is enabling her, including the OP up to a point (and we don't know how hard he is going to actually put his foot down on this issue).
Wow...there is a lot of hate directed towards a little kid...and towards an adult who advocates for children who may have a special need (or may just be struggling with something else, as 4 is not a normal age to bite).
This girl likely has sensory issues and that is why she is doing it, not because she is a brat. I think understanding that will help you understand what is actually going on.
But needless to say, your son shouldn't be at risk like that. But this is between you and your wife. Address this with her. Don't you have some say in what your child does in life?
When I was a kid my parents treated sensory issues with a belt.
Just kidding. They had not invented all these crazy issues that people have now. I am thinking parents stopped being parents and decided to take the kids to a health care provider and one of them figured out you can make good money taking care of sensory issues or some other made up issue that a kid may have.
We got the belt, but it was not because of some crazy issue. It was because we were not acting appropriately. The benefits to that are parents have kids that show respect to parents, teachers, and other adults.
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Yes some people have responded in sort of instinctual shock at getting bitten by biting back. And lo and behold, the kid does not bite anyway. Very direct cause and effect demonstration!
