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Women talking to other women is not statistics, it is gossip...
Did you look at the link that you provided? It essentially says that the rate of woman's rapes in the US is about 16.6 % in 2015. Which is high but not even close to 25%...
We are talking about all sexual assault when we say 1 in 4 not just rapes. Btw, the statistics on children who are sexually abused may be higher because many children are abused by family members and are not supported in reporting.
Which statistics is that, of the man hating metoo movement? I am not really interested in their statistics that I am sure was doctored up to make all men criminals...
I would assume they're police statistics, and as such, are conservative, because law enforcement will tell you, that only a fraction of incidents gets reported. Also bear in mind, that "sexual assault" includes groping. This can happen anonymously, on crowded transit, it can happen in the workplace, or at a party. This has nothing to do with hating men, unless you equate wanting some guy you don't know, or hardly know, or your boss, to get his hands off you, as "hating men".
Do you not have a gf, or a child, whom you love and would like to see go through life without being assaulted? Why are you defensive, instead of being concerned and caring?
I teach her how to gather the information she needs to determine if she will act aggressively, proactively or defensively. Most of the time, I encourage proactive behaviors over the other two.
For catcalls and groping, I ignore it and move away. If he is following me then he is escalating things and that detail is more important than the fact that he catcalled or groped me. It has never gone this far.
For rape, well, we haven't talked about that specific crime yet. She just learned about sex yesterday because of a classmate threatening to spread a rumor about another student. But what we do talk about is abuse. We talk to her about how abuse is more often than not caused by the people we know or let into our lives. So there are red flags to look out for when you first meet a person.
I have three daughters. I worry about a lot of things on their behalf and a lot of things for my two sons.
Catcalled? Not really a worry. There are about 1,002,345,678,908 things that will happen to them in life that are far more significant.
Groped? Not likely to happen. I worry about them going to jail for their reaction if it ever did. One daughter did have a guy pinch her bottom. She broke her hand when she punched him, so I taught her how to punch better. You can still break your hand not matter how you punch, but ou can substantially reduce the likelihood by knowing how to punch properly. Now I worry about her les in this regard, but I still need to teach her sisters.
Raped? Yes this is a significant concern. I have helped them learn to live safely, use mace (or a .45 - one of them), be observant of their surroundings and avoid high risk situations. Mostly jsut avoid being alone with men or alone outside, especially at night. Also encouraged them to have a dog. Also made certain they have no qualms about asking for help/accompaniment if they feel uncomfortable about a situation. Still you worry.
One daughter does online dating. But she has rules. First she has to establish a rapport with them for about a month before she will go on a date with them. Second, she meets them in a public place and does not allow them to pick her up or drive her home. Third, she takes a picture of their drivers license and texts it to a friend before they go anywhere. Fourth, she does background checks. 5th Most early dates are meet for coffee or a snack. Then maybe if things go well they can meet her at the zoo or a museum. Still I worry. Online dating is dangerous.
I worry about my sons too. Since they date women, a rape is less of a concern but they might get accused of something. It is possible but seems extremely unlikely the might get raped by some guy they a hang out with. their bigger risk is being accused of something they (hopefully) did not do. I tell them to try to group date, stay in public places or even in places that have cameras. Avoid being alone with any woman until you know them extremely well and even then be extremely cautious. If you want to have sex, get written permission signed by them and keep it in a safe place. I have not suggested it but it may be prudent to avoid being alone with guys either, even if you are just friends. Anyone can and may accuse you of illegal sexual contact if you tick them off enough or if there are crazy. I have no idea how true it is, but a lady sitting near us at a crew competition we heard was explaining to a friend that she told her sons to know a woman for at least 6 months before being alone with them, but her daughter was told a shorter time. She claimed a woman can hide crazy for six months but rarely longer than that, guys are not good at it, a guy can only hide crazy for a few weeks.
I am not sure how much any of them listen to my paranoia. I know my daughters sometimes go for a bike ride or a run alone and that concerns me. Still they are pretty cautious and more so than most of their friends. I found it works to ask them to be concerned for my safety better than it does for their safety. If I have to kill someone, I will go to jail and have little likelihood of surviving there.
I teach her how to gather the information she needs to determine if she will act aggressively, proactively or defensively. Most of the time, I encourage proactive behaviors over the other two.
For catcalls and groping, I ignore it and move away. If he is following me then he is escalating things and that detail is more important than the fact that he catcalled or groped me. It has never gone this far.
For rape, well, we haven't talked about that specific crime yet. She just learned about sex yesterday because of a classmate threatening to spread a rumor about another student. But what we do talk about is abuse. We talk to her about how abuse is more often than not caused by the people we know or let into our lives. So there are red flags to look out for when you first meet a person.
That's amazing! This is what all girls (along with boys) need to know! They need to know it's OK to take defensive or aggressive steps to protect themselves, if a situation calls for that, and that being too nice can sometimes get you into trouble. Bravo!
And it's absolutely possible to immobilize an attacker without violence being the go too. I've taken a self defense course , I highly encourage a trained instructor who gives scenarios and items that can be used to restrain or thwart. Time is key.
If you want your living breathing young adult to be pro active and attentive...let it be thru certified courses.
I don't slam or harm folks who cross a line with a butt pinch. That is where over reacting has become the norm.
Boundaries and awareness.
That's amazing! This is what all girls (along with boys) need to know! They need to know it's OK to take defensive or aggressive steps to protect themselves, if a situation calls for that, and that being too nice can sometimes get you into trouble. Bravo!
Aw! Thank you. Yes, being too nice can get you in trouble, but I do worry about her being aggressive. A boy or man could knock her out easily if he wanted to retaliate against her actions. That is why I push for proactive. When I think of aggression and defense, I think of martial arts, and she is still little for that and that is a little too close for me.
Proactive for me is to move away and observe, buy yourself some time and distance to open up more options on what to do.
Aw! Thank you. Yes, being too nice can get you in trouble, but I do worry about her being aggressive. A boy or man could knock her out easily if he wanted to retaliate against her actions. That is why I push for proactive. When I think of aggression and defense, I think of martial arts, and she is still little for that and that is a little too close for me.
Proactive for me is to move away and observe, buy yourself some time and distance to open up more options on what to do.
The main thing, I think, is to recognize people who are trying to manipulate you, in order to get closer to you. So much assault is perpetrated by acquaintances, who make a move when the victim's guard is down. Self-defense is about recognizing red flags for what they are, and not allowing a bad situation to develop, in the first place.
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