why do some people feel working moms are selfish (15 years old, grow up, sleep)
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This woman is a BLOGGER. Here is her title:
"Intentional SAHM, Former Broadcaster & Opinion Columnist"
And a quick Google search shows that this is ALL that she writes about - why being a SAHM is better.
Oh no, she has plenty of cites. You can follow the links for yourself. For example, from the NIH:
Children who spent more time in child care were somewhat less cooperative, more disobedient, and more aggressive at age 2 and age 4½, and in kindergarten, but not at age 3.
Well, duh. Is that a surprise?. You dump a bunch of tots in a room and they have to climb over each other for attention? Not getting love all day long. How are they NOT going to end up being obnoxious and aggressive?
Oh no, she has plenty of cites. You can follow the links for yourself. For example, from the NIH:
Children who spent more time in child care were somewhat less cooperative, more disobedient, and more aggressive at age 2 and age 4½, and in kindergarten, but not at age 3.
Well, duh. Is that a surprise?. You dump a bunch of tots in a room and they have to climb over each other for attention? Not getting love all day long. How are they NOT going to end up being obnoxious and aggressive?
She has one citation. Correlation dies not equal causation.
Yeah but it was in the Huffington Post. And it cited an NIH study that concluded this:
Children who spent more time in child care were somewhat less cooperative, more disobedient, and more aggressive at age 2 and age 4½, and in kindergarten, but not at age 3.
Go ahead, discredit the NIH. You can't, its from the GUBMINT.
Well, then I will have to quit my job and go home to be with my kids right now.
Oh wait, one of my kids is an adult and the other is in high school.
I guess it's TOO LATE!!
As for the "less cooperative, more disobedient and more aggressive", I say big deal. I would describe my kids as "exhibiting the ability to question authority, standing up for their rights and going their own way when necessary". They certainly aren't the meek, docile creatures that public schools are trying to churn out these days. That is a fact that I'm very proud of.
Yeah but it was in the Huffington Post. And it cited an NIH study that concluded this:
Children who spent more time in child care were somewhat less cooperative, more disobedient, and more aggressive at age 2 and age 4½, and in kindergarten, but not at age 3.
Go ahead, discredit the NIH. You can't, its from the GUBMINT.
Post a cite to the study and then we can talk about it.
Lets be honest, you don't know how to do that.
So from the study itself
"children in higher quality non-maternal child care had
somewhat better language and cognitive development
during the first 4½ years of life. they were also
somewhat more cooperative than those who experienced
lower quality care during the first 3 years of life. "
Notice that QUALITY of childcare has a bigger effect than hours. Do you want to guess what that means?
Well, then I will have to quit my job and go home to be with my kids right now.
Oh wait, one of my kids is an adult and the other is in high school.
I guess it's TOO LATE!!
As for the "less cooperative, more disobedient and more aggressive", I say big deal. I would describe my kids as "exhibiting the ability to question authority, standing up for their rights and going their own way when necessary". They certainly aren't the meek, docile creatures that public schools are trying to churn out these days. That is a fact that I'm very proud of.
Don't worry, you'll get a second chance when they divorce and want to move back in with you in their 30s so you can provide day care.
Yeah but it was in the Huffington Post. And it cited an NIH study that concluded this:
Children who spent more time in child care were somewhat less cooperative, more disobedient, and more aggressive at age 2 and age 4½, and in kindergarten, but not at age 3.
Go ahead, discredit the NIH. You can't, its from the GUBMINT.
Please comment on the links nana supplied pages ago.
You're doing the relativism schtick. Everything is peachy, no black and white, everything is shades of gray, one size doesn't fit all, life is hard... It's BS. Have some courage and state a principle. I hope you're not this wishy-washy with teaching right and wrong to your kids.
Now, there are NO good day care situations. Why? There is no love in institutional day care. None. Zero. It's warehousing. Is it a backstop when life gets screwy? That's what it should be. A backstop only. But today, people plan and choose to dump their kids in day care. On purpose. That's terrible and sad.
Seriously, what happened to you as a child? Following your logic, kids should be strapped to their parents until they are 18 and never go to school at all. Apparently, you've never experienced the love of a teacher first-hand. I can guarantee you it exists - would you like for me to post a link to an opinion piece or a blog that proves it by your version of evidence?
"The verb “to parent” didn’t enter the American lexicon until 1958. It’s telling that this is the only familial role to be verb-ified: although a woman would never say, “I need to daughter better,” she might say, “I’m working on my parenting.” A daughter is only something you are, but parenting is something you do. (“Mother” and “father” are also verbs, though it’s noteworthy that only one of them is a job. “Mothering a child” is a form of parenting, an all-consuming personal vocation, while “fathering a child” is a one-off event.)"
"Because women still do the bulk of the childrearing, the scientization of parenting weighs most heavily on mothers. It has fueled what sociologist Sharon Hays calls “intensive mothering,” in which, as Hays writes, “the methods of appropriate child rearing are construed as child-centered, expert-guided, emotionally-absorbing, labor intensive, and financially expensive.” Intensive mothering has become the standard ideal, the paradigm of “good mothering,” against which all mothers are measured. The intensive mother is the mother who knows developmental stages and toy recalls and car seat requirements. She answers every midnight cry. Her kid never falls into a gorilla exhibit. She mothers so fully, so completely, that her child is sculpted into a perfectly developed human to whom only wonderful things happen, because the good mother enables only wonderful things."
"And maybe that’s the ticket, as they say. In All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenting, Jennifer Senior suggests that today’s professionalization of parenting is actually a response to women’s liberation. Senior argues that there is an “enduring link,” as she puts it, between women’s increased independence and the cultural pressure for women to be “more attentive” in their mothering. She quotes Sharon Hays: “Whenever the free market threatens to invade the sanctity of the home, women feel greater pressure to engage in ‘intensive mothering.’”
The thing is, with a small business of 5 people, like in your example....if people aren't offered any type of family leave then they are going to be more likely to entirely quit when life happens and a parent needs care or they decide to have kids. Family leave should be a payroll tax though, not paid by the employer. In my current state (NJ), we already have the NJ Family Leave Insurance, which is a payroll tax. It's really small, like maybe $3 a paycheck, and every worker in the state pays into it. Then they can draw up to 6 weeks of payments for a qualifying life event. The payments aren't huge (it's a % of income, but there is a relatively low cap) but can help many people get by for a while before they return to work. But I think it should be extended from 6 weeks to something like 12 weeks or even 6 months.
If that meant I was pay $6/a paycheck but had that security of family leave when I needed it, I think the majority of workers would be for it. And again, it's not just for people having kids. I had a coworker once who had to use it when her husband was in a horrible auto accident and was in a coma and then in intense physical therapy relearning how to walk, etc for a few months. Those things can happen to ANYONE, and it's better for society if we have coverage for those events.
There aren't any easy answers to your small business question. I'd be curious to know what other countries do for small businesses. I actually have a friend who is the CFO of a small, 20 person business and she is on maternity leave now. Her company was so small she was actually the first to need maternity leave, and they crafted a policy for her. As CFO, she's obviously interested in the bottom line and how leave affects the company overall, and they are exempt from FMLA laws, so they could have done anything. In the end, they have created a new policy where workers get 6 weeks paid leave from disability, 6 weeks partial paid leave using accumulated sick leave, then unpaid leave or a variety of work-from-home options for up to 6 months. My friend is using 12 weeks (she is the CFO, so of course she is still doing some work at home), and then working from home another month with a nanny, and then planning to create an on-site room for childcare there. They are using some temps to cover certain duties while she is gone.
So it is possible. People have to be willing and think about benefits to the long term, though. Is it better to have a revolving door of workers who quit every time they decide to procreate or have a family emergency? Or better to craft some kind of plan for temp workers?
Good for your friend! Not all of us can work at home. Nurses, teachers, front office workers, etc. WRT small businesses, businesses under a certain size are often exempt from such laws. The FMLA cut-off is 50 employees.
I agree for $6/paycheck, some form of paid leave would be great.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stevek64
Facts and logic don't apply to people responding on emotion/people trying to justify an alternate reality. Save your breathe I'd say as your 100% fact doesn't want to be acknowledged by some.....more time at work, less time with child. Less time at work, more time with child.
The problem is, the "facts" are really "alternative facts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stevek64
O come on, kids need lots and lots of money and things and trinkets and daycare and parents to have their fulfilling career more than anything, didn't you get the memo?
Oh, can the sarcasm.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Book Lover 21
Oh no! I missed the part of the study that says it causes unhappy marriages.
Any other side effects I should be aware of? Genital warts? Itchy rashes? Temporary blindness?
(This is so much fun )
Bad hair, dandruff, etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
Dropped on his head?
Got a concussion falling off his high horse.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marc Paolella
Yeah but it was in the Huffington Post. And it cited an NIH study that concluded this:
Children who spent more time in child care were somewhat less cooperative, more disobedient, and more aggressive at age 2 and age 4½, and in kindergarten, but not at age 3.
Go ahead, discredit the NIH. You can't, its from the GUBMINT.
A real scientific source there. How about a cite to the actual study?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marc Paolella
Don't worry, you'll get a second chance when they divorce and want to move back in with you in their 30s so you can provide day care.
Oh, let's not "personalize" now, eh Mark?
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