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Correct, I was "present", not parenting, as I stated.
So we've determined that you worked FT and had children.
My guess is that you worked because you felt it was the right decision for your family, instead of saving until you could both stay home; and that despite your working, you have a close bond with them, they recognize you as "dad" and don't confuse you with the UPS guy. That they have grown up not feeling they were shafted out of a real dad because you were out of the house working for however many hours you were not there.
So we've determined that you worked FT and had children.
My guess is that you worked because you felt it was the right decision for your family, instead of saving until you could both stay home; and that despite your working, you have a close bond with them, they recognize you as "dad" and don't confuse you with the UPS guy. That they have grown up not feeling they were shafted out of a real dad because you were out of the house working for however many hours you were not there.
Given we weren't financially independent at the time, yes, we felt one of us had to work and the highest salary won. Mine. And given my wife wanted to stay at home, it was an easy decision for us. If she made more money than me, and wanted to work, I'd love to have stayed home as work was just a means to make $ in my view, didn't give me anything beyond that except aggravation for the most part, ha. I don't get off on being the macho bread $ winner as the reason for my existence as many seem to feel. Working to live, not living to work, was my mantra. Hanging with family, the dogs, doing some hobbies, etc. is much more fulfilling to me.
Good for you in spending all that time with your 4-5 year olds. You're fortunate to be able to have done such a thing at those critical years and that's great for the kids on many levels.
I know where you're coming from. My mom was a stay at home for us and as much as she loved being a stay at home mom, she needed to get away from us "monsters" once in a while. She never went back to work as you did but she and my dad went out now and then together to dinner, a movie, etc. and that apparently was enough for her to keep "fresh".
See, that's the thing: it had nothing to do with needing time away from my kids. What I really needed was more mental stimulation, which isn't something a date night can fix. I ended up with probably one of the most objectively boring jobs on the planet (auditing), but for some reason, making numbers behave is mentally stimulating for me, lol.
Kat c'mon.....when women have a flexible schedule, they are cheating their kids by chasing money, when men have flexible careers they are patted on the back for the "extra time" they are spending with their children simply by virtue of being in the same building.
It's similar to fathers who babysit their kids so their wife can go to bookclub.
LOL! I brought that up b/c my daughter who is "trying" cooked up this plan for when they have kids that involves her husband working from home one day a week. I don't know how she thinks he can both work and take care of a baby (while she works).
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissTerri
If they can afford to join a gym and are comfortable using the gym childcare then yes, they can utilize that situation and get a little break in their day. Just like a working mom gets a lunch break.
As I've said a million times, there are pros and cons to working and staying at home. One of the pros of being a sahm may be more flexibility in one's day. A pro of being a working mom is a paycheck. It's disingenuous however to claim that an average stay at home mom of an infant spends only a tiny bit more time doing childcare then an average full time working mom. That was the point I was refuting. Gym break or no gym break. It's just not true.
I'm talking about the YMCA, not some fancy, schmancy gym. Kibbiekat posted about some rec centers, which are even more inexpensive! And LOL about a lunch "break". It's clear you haven't worked in a long time. For one thing, you're lucky to get an hour many days. It's a good thing that our office was located next to a hospital so we could go to the cafeteria and eat, otherwise it would have been McDonald's drive-through (or brown bag it and eat in that awful break room we had).
Not with an infant, no. I just said that, didn't I? But as the kids get older, I can believe that a working mom puts in almost as much time in child care as a SAHM.
Given we weren't financially independent at the time, yes, we felt one of us had to work and the highest salary won. Mine. And given my wife wanted to stay at home, it was an easy decision for us. If she made more money than me, and wanted to work, I'd love to have stayed home as work was just a means to make $ in my view, didn't give me anything beyond that except aggravation for the most part, ha. I don't get off on being the macho bread $ winner as the reason for my existence as many seem to feel. Working to live, not living to work, was my mantra. Hanging with family, the dogs, doing some hobbies, etc. is much more fulfilling to me.
And yet, you feel the need to deride those who make similar decisions for their own families. You have no problem calling them out for chasing money or for finding fulfillment in more than just one way. Why is it that you can decide whether they are making the best decision or if their children are shortchanged, or suffering in some way, when you have no idea what their circumstances are? Why is that Steve?
And yet, you feel the need to deride those who make similar decisions for their own families. You have no problem calling them out for chasing money or for finding fulfillment in more than just one way. Why is it that you can decide whether they are making the best decision or if their children are shortchanged, or suffering in some way, when you have no idea what their circumstances are? Why is that Steve?
I wasn't chasing "fulfillment", I was chasing a living so we wouldn't be on welfare.
And I'm not "deciding" anything in regards to what other people should do/not do with their lives in regards to working except stating for the 14.5 billionth time(ok, I'm exaggerating).......
more time at work chasing fulfillment, money, better coffee, the love of traffic commuting, etc. means more time away from kids........
more time at work chasing fulfillment, money, better coffee, the love of traffic commuting, etc. means more time away from kids........
more time at work chasing fulfillment, money, better coffee, the love of traffic commuting, etc. means more time away from kids........
more time at work chasing fulfillment, money, better coffee, the love of traffic commuting, etc. means more time away from kids........
LOL! I brought that up b/c my daughter who is "trying" cooked up this plan for when they have kids that involves her husband working from home one day a week. I don't know how she thinks he can both work and take care of a baby (while she works).
I'm talking about the YMCA, not some fancy, schmancy gym. Kibbiekat posted about some rec centers, which are even more inexpensive! And LOL about a lunch "break". It's clear you haven't worked in a long time. For one thing, you're lucky to get an hour many days. It's a good thing that our office was located next to a hospital so we could go to the cafeteria and eat, otherwise it would have been McDonald's drive-through (or brown bag it and eat in that awful break room we had).
Not with an infant, no. I just said that, didn't I? But as the kids get older, I can believe that a working mom puts in almost as much time in child care as a SAHM.
My "lunch break" typically consisted of a salad at my desk while I continue working so I could get home earlier. Unless I had errands to run. Rarely was it "me time".
I wasn't chasing "fulfillment", I was chasing a living so we wouldn't be on welfare.
And I'm not "deciding" anything in regards to what other people should do/not do with their lives in regards to working except for the 14.5 billionth time(ok, I'm exaggerating).......
more time at work means more time away from kids........
more time at work means more time away from kids........
more time at work means more time away from kids........
more time at work means more time away from kids........
more time at work means more time away from kids........
more time at work means more time away from kids........
more time at work means more time away from kids........
So you had choices, and chose to chase money and work, despite that "more time at work means more time away from kids"?
And I bet you'll claim your kids are happy and well adjusted.
I'm talking about the YMCA, not some fancy, schmancy gym. Kibbiekat posted about some rec centers, which are even more inexpensive! And LOL about a lunch "break". It's clear you haven't worked in a long time. For one thing, you're lucky to get an hour many days. It's a good thing that our office was located next to a hospital so we could go to the cafeteria and eat, otherwise it would have been McDonald's drive-through (or brown bag it and eat in that awful break room we had).
Not with an infant, no. I just said that, didn't I? But as the kids get older, I can believe that a working mom puts in almost as much time in child care as a SAHM.
A membership the YMCA is not in my family's budget. As a stay at home mom I don't get a paycheck so we have to be extra careful with our finances. It's one of the cons of being a stay at home mom. None of my local rec centers offer child care. Gym childcare is not available to all as you imply.
An hour for lunch in an 8 to 5 job is pretty standard. If you don't get a lunch then you generally still work an 8 hour day (8 to 4 or 7 to 5). Not a bad trade. At my last job I got a half hour. I brought my lunch everyday. I haven't been out of the work force for that long and I still know a lot of people in it. I'm not that out of touch. No need to be rude.
I have been speaking about infants and young babies, not preschoolers or school aged children in all of my posts that you have responded to so yes, that was the topic at hand.
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She never went back to work as you did but she and my dad went out now and then together to dinner, a movie, etc. and that apparently was enough for her to keep "fresh". 
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