Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Really not a matter of being selfish. It's a matter of child neglect and abandonment. A child can either be raised by a parent who loves and cares for them in person and at close range each and every day. Or a child can spend most of their waking day without love in a day care setting with other abandoned children. Which is better? It's obvious. Parents raising their kids personally is best for the kids.
If you aren't going to raise them, don't have them. Any woman who can drop their 2 year old at a day care center, ignore and/or deny the pangs of guilt, go to a dopey job, and think that this is the best way to run a life is a very sad mother indeed.
With proper advance planning and focus and goal-setting, it is easily possible to arrange to have one parent at home raising the kids full time, and the other working and bringing home the money. That is the right way to do the job, the way that has a loving parent present and engaged 24/7/365.
I don't care if you are a lawyer or a doctor, you can easily be replaced. Mom or Dad can NEVER be replaced. And certainly not by a mercenary toddler mob warehouse.
Ok. Noted. A woman's job is "dopey" and going to such job is "child abandonment."
Is sending a child to school for 7 hours/day with teachers who apparently don't care also "child abandonment?"
And just LOL at a SAHM being engaged 24/7/365. There is no guarantee of that even if one is home. See my post earlier about the housekeeper and depression. OK, back to reality now.
when my daughter was born we already had decided my wife would be a stay at home mom, I really do not know how people do both, I know some people have to but after all we went though to have a baby we weren't going to have someone else raise her.
that said, we go without vacations, new cars, fancy dinners, money is not everything to us and as long as we are getting by on my paycheck I think we made the right decision.
Please stop with this. As has been stated, it's incorrect and offensive. Working parents are indeed raising their children. Once your children attend school do you cease to be raising them? Didn't think so.
Really not a matter of being selfish. It's a matter of child neglect and abandonment. A child can either be raised by a parent who loves and cares for them in person and at close range each and every day. Or a child can spend most of their waking day without love in a day care setting with other abandoned children. Which is better? It's obvious. Parents raising their kids personally is best for the kids.
If you aren't going to raise them, don't have them. Any woman who can drop their 2 year old at a day care center, ignore and/or deny the pangs of guilt, go to a dopey job, and think that this is the best way to run a life is a very sad mother indeed.
With proper advance planning and focus and goal-setting, it is easily possible to arrange to have one parent at home raising the kids full time, and the other working and bringing home the money. That is the right way to do the job, the way that has a loving parent present and engaged 24/7/365.
I don't care if you are a lawyer or a doctor, you can easily be replaced. Mom or Dad can NEVER be replaced. And certainly not by a mercenary toddler mob warehouse.
Perhaps you should look up the definition of child neglect and child abandonment, because taking your child to daycare isn't either one.
Really not a matter of being selfish. It's a matter of child neglect and abandonment. A child can either be raised by a parent who loves and cares for them in person and at close range each and every day. Or a child can spend most of their waking day without love in a day care setting with other abandoned children. Which is better? It's obvious. Parents raising their kids personally is best for the kids.
If you aren't going to raise them, don't have them. Any woman who can drop their 2 year old at a day care center, ignore and/or deny the pangs of guilt, go to a dopey job, and think that this is the best way to run a life is a very sad mother indeed.
With proper advance planning and focus and goal-setting, it is easily possible to arrange to have one parent at home raising the kids full time, and the other working and bringing home the money. That is the right way to do the job, the way that has a loving parent present and engaged 24/7/365.
I don't care if you are a lawyer or a doctor, you can easily be replaced. Mom or Dad can NEVER be replaced. And certainly not by a mercenary toddler mob warehouse.
Wow. Just wow.
My mother was a SAHM. I used to look forward to her bowling league day because the bowling alley daycare was the most attention I got all week. My mom would sit in front of the soap operas, gossip on the phone and occasionally do housework. She spent zero time with me.
I was cared for by retired grandparent as my Mother worked in 1970s onward. Grand got hurt and broke her hip so my sister and I were in daycare for a while...I saw enough motley stuff as a 4 year old during that time to decide if I ever had children, I would not want young children in daycare as they cannot explain what is wrong with things or threatening....I think a 3 year old does benefit from being in pre-school part-time so he/she will be socialized well enough to feel comfortable about kindergarten.
As my own life turned out, I did not bear children and got a hysterectomy last year to end long-time female problems. So, I will never deal with it. My own nieces went through daycare with oblivious sister who did not want family babysitting for her much and favored her husband's family for babysitting most of the time...
What you said, for the record. Gee, why might someone be offended??
I wasn't offended. I'm not sure how people could get offended by me stating that other people believe other things. It's true, from my experience interacting with some other mothers. If anything, people should get offended with the other people who think that way (ie that daycare raises their children for them).
I was just clarifying my statement because multiple people misunderstood it quite a bit. Perhaps I didn't write it well enough the first time.
I'm not sure why anyone should get offended over other people's opinions about childcare or working moms or anything. I think one way, other people think another, and still someone else has their own ideas. One person's opinion does absolutely nothing to negate someone else's.
People do what works best for them and, hopefully, for their kids.
I wasn't offended. I'm not sure how people could get offended by me stating that other people believe other things. It's true, from my experience interacting with some other mothers. If anything, people should get offended with the other people who think that way (ie that daycare raises their children for them).
I was just clarifying my statement because multiple people misunderstood it quite a bit. Perhaps I didn't write it well enough the first time.
I'm not sure why anyone should get offended over other people's opinions about childcare or working moms or anything. I think one way, other people think another, and still someone else has their own ideas. One person's opinion does absolutely nothing to negate someone else's.
People do what works best for them and, hopefully, for their kids.
I stopped reading after your first sentence. I didnt say you were offended. I meant you were offensive. It's called sarcasm.
Working moms still need to fulfill their own wants too. They want to work. No big deal. Do what you WANT to do. They want to work.
Let's say this happened: You want to work but you are forced to stay home. You would be miserable. That's no good for your child either. If you are happy (by doing what you want), then you will be a happier parent to your child.
Put the oxygen mask on yourself first. You need to save yourself before you can save others.
in my opinion if people feel as though working moms are selfish they are selfish they don't understand all of the hardship they could be going through and as I always say its better missing a bake sale or a middle of school day student performance than no house or food ar being able to even participate at those events
Why does everyone assume that you need to have a millionaire husband to have a stay at home mom? Middle income families do it every day, month after month, year after year. They drive 10 year old cars, don't eat out often and don't take trips to Hawaii. They move to areas of lower cost living. They make it work, and don't care if Vogue thinks her jeans are out of style.
And they DON'T consider it a sacrifice. They consider it putting family first, not bank account first. It depends on priorities: Do you value children or do you value money? In the end, children value how you made them FEEL not what you material products you gave them.
Why does everyone assume that you need to have a millionaire husband to have a stay at home mom? Middle income families do it every day, month after month, year after year. They drive 10 year old cars, don't eat out often and don't take trips to Hawaii. They move to areas of lower cost living. They make it work, and don't care if Vogue thinks her jeans are out of style.
What makes you think that many women/mothers who work outside the home are any different? Many drive older cars, delay extravagant vacations, restaurant meals and the latest fashions.
Quote:
...And they DON'T consider it a sacrifice. They consider it putting family first, not bank account first. It depends on priorities: Do you value children or do you value money? In the end, children value how you made them FEEL not what you material products you gave them.
I valued being able to ensure my kids had health insurance AND that I could adequately fund my retirement so my adult children could raise their own families without worrying as much about me. I don't see that as being selfish.
Lol that you mentioned Hawaii. Just got back. We couldn't afford it when the kids were young. They have grown into well-adjusted, college educated, employed adults who maintain a close a happy relationship with us and with each other. Horrors!
Look, if you want to stay home.and can afford it, go for it. Enjoy every moment. Just stop demonizing those for whom it doesn't work (emotionally or financially). In the end, we're all just moms. Doing what we feel is the best for our own families.
Last edited by maciesmom; 03-27-2017 at 12:25 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
in my opinion if people feel as though working moms are selfish they are selfish they don't understand all of the hardship they could be going through and as I always say its better missing a bake sale or a middle of school day student performance than no house or food ar being able to even participate at those events