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If you have a teen attending high school? If so, what kinds of expectations do you have for them? How did you come up with your expectations? Did they evolve as your child grew and matured, or did you have to put them into place because of problems or behaviors you had concerns about?
Do they have a curfew? How late may they stay out on a school night? How about a weekend?
Do they have a job? Do they get an allowance? If so, how much do they get from you? If they want to do something, like take a school sponsored trip, do you pay for it or do you expect them to participate in funding the trip? Do you expect them to save money, and do they have a checking account? Do you know or care how they spend the money? If you think they are spending their money foolishly, do you say anything or keep quiet?
What are your expectations in regard to school? What do you expect in terms of grades? What about behavior at school? If your child misses an assignment, what are the consequences for them, if any? How often are you in touch with your child's teachers?
Does your teen have any household responsibilities? Do you expect them to keep their room clean or is their room kept however they please? Do they have a regular list of household tasks, or do you ask them to do things on an as needed basis? Are performing these tasks connected in any way to an allowance? If so, if they don't perform the tasks, do they still get the money? If they want more money, do you give it to them, or do they have to do something extra to earn it? Do you want to know why they need more money?
What about their friends/romantic interests? Do you want to know about your teen's friends and backgrounds? Do you spend any time with your teen and their friends, or boy/girlfriend? Can they have their friends over? If they hang out at your house, where do they hang out? In your teen's room, with the door opened or closed? In common areas of your home? Can your teen have friends over at any time, or do you expect them to ask permission to have them over, or do you expect them to let you know that someone is coming over to hang out? Do you set any time limits for friends to come over or is hours at a time okay with you? Does it interfere in anyway with your planned activities or family time? If so, how do you handle those issues?
Do you care at all how your teen spends their time? Do they have good time management skills?
What about post secondary education and work? What will they be doing after high school? Where will they be living? As a parent, do you foresee a time when your parenting responsibilities are over or diminished?
Sorry for the litany of questions but as a stepparent, I would like to get a feel for what others are doing. Any answers will be greatly appreciated.
Last edited by photobuff42; 03-28-2017 at 01:29 PM..
In my estimation,(just off the top of my head), 18 year old high school students are no different than 17 year old high school students with regards to rules and expectations while living at home.
Simply being 18 doesn't count for anything regarding living at home.
In my estimation,(just off the top of my head), 18 year old high school students are no different than 17 year old high school students with regards to rules and expectations while living at home.
Please read the original post. Those questions please. Can you expound on your expectations for teens living home?
I read the original post. My answer doesn't change. You weren't asking about rules for teens, you were asking about rules for 18 year olds specifically. Whatever the household rules for 17 year olds still in high school are, shouldn't change when they turn 18 and are still in high school. In my opinion.
Okay, thanks for helping me out. You are a real peach!
What do you think should change and why? It's a valid question.
You clearly think something should be different and I truly don't understand what would change simply by virtue of turning 18?
Maybe I'm not understanding your question. Are you asking for a run down on raising teens? What the expectations are for high schoolers vs middle schoolers etc? And how those expectations were decided on and achieved? Or are you asking whether, when a child attains the legal age of majority, are some behaviors and expectations adjusted?
I'm guessing this poorly worded op is asking what the rules should be. Not specifically for an 18 year old?
But I still agree with maciesmom. My kids will both turn 18 their senior year and whatever the rules will be when they're 17 will continue as long as they're still in high school. Their turning 18 wouldn't change anything. Now if they're still living at home after graduation (say until college started in the fall) the rules may be loosened.
I'm not even going to take the bait of setting specific rules for your household.
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