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Old 04-22-2007, 02:54 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
1 posts, read 2,590 times
Reputation: 11

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I have to say that I was surprised when I read the message that you posted. I have been struggling with the very same problem myself. Two little boys that live neighboring my parents are obviously neglected. I have felt for some time that I should report this neglect. I don't like to "stir the pot" of contention so it is not normally in my nature to meddle in other people's affairs. For a while I thought, "Surely, someone else is noticing this and they will speak up...take action". But the sad fact is that for over a year now, no one else has. I have even sought out wise counsel from my family and peers perhaps hoping in some small way that they would provide me with enough justification to not go forward and report the neglect. What is really disturbing is that I had a dream of the youngest child about 2 weeks ago. He was dirty and soaking wet, wrapped in a towel. He had broken his hand and in the dream I stood with about 6 other people watching him walk away. He got quite a distance away from me when I couldn't stand it any longer...I ran after him. I knelt down beside him and he said " I'm hurt. I broke my hand". I reached down and took his hand in mine to examine it. It was totally mangled and freezing cold. I tried to warm his hand by rubbing it with my own hands but could not get it warm at all. I then led him over to a heater so that he could warm up. All of the people in the dream watched me for a few minutes, then they walked away. I have come to this conclusion.....If the people who do have eyes to see choose to be blind, who will then lead the broken? It is up to the ones who can do to help the ones who cannot do for themselves. To be brave is a hard thing, but to live with a childs face haunting me for the rest of my life is unbearable. If you are having trouble reporting the abuse, go to one of your parents and ask them for help and guidance. It is obviuos that your heart is telling you to act in some way.That's what parents are there for....to help you along your journey in life.
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Old 04-22-2007, 03:51 AM
 
Location: Between Here and There
3,684 posts, read 10,846,948 times
Reputation: 1650
I have in the past and will continue to report anything I feel is neglect or abuse of a child. If it is unfounded then there is no harm done. But if there is a problem you could be saving a child from a bad, or worse dangerous situation. There are many people who say they don't report because if it's not true then the parents will have to go through the whole social services thing and it wouldn't be fair. But I say that if there's any doubt the report should be made. I for one would rather know that someone cared enough about my children to question me if they thought something wasn't right. Yes a social services investigation can be bothersome to the innocent, but in the spirit of catching those that are not innocent report...these children need someone to look out for them.


Oh and some people are wealthy (depending on your definitiion) because both parents work, or even if not they send their kids for socialization. And yes we call it "preschool" here as well.
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Old 04-23-2007, 04:57 AM
 
Location: on an island
13,374 posts, read 40,183,726 times
Reputation: 13181
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishmom View Post
I have in the past and will continue to report anything I feel is neglect or abuse of a child. If it is unfounded then there is no harm done.
This is not necessarily true.
An unfounded case was reported at my old preschool, and the ensuing fiasco opened up horrible wounds between faculty and the family, long-time members of our preschool community (the child was their third.) It was a very sad and hurtful experience for everyone involved.
However, as was mentioned before, a teacher who suspects abuse is legally required to report it.
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Old 04-26-2007, 11:51 AM
 
1,229 posts, read 3,104,573 times
Reputation: 286
I would have to be 110 percent sure myself, and if I were, I have no problem reporting it, none at all. But...be really sure, cause you can create a nightmare for all parties involved, ruin lives too, if its not true.
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Old 04-26-2007, 01:17 PM
 
5,640 posts, read 16,942,001 times
Reputation: 3963
You should report it. In fact, I don't know if this is a federal law, but if you work with children, you must face a background check and sign something that you will report any suspicious things that you see regarding the child to authorities or you could get in trouble.

BTW: I have met many rich people who are notoriously cheap except when it comes to things that make them look wealthier... and many times the places they will skimp is on their children's clothing. They shop at nordstrom's and dress their kids in goodwill ... anything to keep up the image you know.

There may also be substance abuse in the family. That knows NO socioeconomic boundaries!
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Old 04-27-2007, 07:33 AM
 
395 posts, read 1,318,541 times
Reputation: 360
I have in the past and will continue to report anything I feel is neglect or abuse of a child. If it is unfounded then there is no harm done.

I agree that it is not necessarily true. Did you know that in many states it is in the state statutes that the childs school can have access to abuse/neglect/hotline records ? Child Protective Service records are SUPPOSED to be confidential but many times if you check the state statutes you will see that there is actually quite a long list of who can access those records. Even unfounded reports can stay on a persons supposedly confidential record for YEARS.

I found out all this after my husband and I were falsely accused of abuse/neglect and were investigated by CPS 3x. All were unfounded but there was plenty of harm done since in CPS eyes you are already judged as guilty before they even knock at your door. At least that is the way it seems to be in Florida, we had a couple of really nasty investigators.

On our second investigation the investigator wrote several things that were NOT EVEN TRUE like we had dirty laundry "all over the floor of every room". our front windows were allegedly broken (again not true) and that we had no running water and broken toilets. This investigator was really nasty. Fortunately those untrue things did not make it unto the final report since another investigator took over the case.

I have two disabled kids. One of their guidance counselors did not like my disabled husband and thought that my learning disabled daughters odd behaviors were because of domestic /sexual abuse. My child has memory and cognitive issues and she knew this. I found out later that she had access to the records and knew that we had been called on two times before so she called CPS a third time and a really nasty investigator came out to our home. This one was so nasty to my mother in law, who was with me, that the police officer who was there for the investigator actually called her supervisor and reported it .

I would have to actually SEE a child being abused before I would even think of calling CPS after what I have found out. For me it would have to be more than just a suspicion. Most people think that if they have nothing to hide that they have nothing to fear from CPS. I used to think that I had nothing to fear because we are good parents, just not great housekeepers. Now I know better.It has been two years since our last investigation and our hearts still pound when a strange car pulls up in our yard. If someone knocks at our door we have to fight not to panic until we know who it is. It is a constant worry since our mobile home is now a fixer upper since my husband is now physically disabled and there are a few things we cannot afford to fix until he gets his SSDI, and actually we are gonna buy a house when he does.
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Old 04-27-2007, 08:30 AM
 
Location: Between Here and There
3,684 posts, read 10,846,948 times
Reputation: 1650
Quote:
Originally Posted by Floridamom1970 View Post
I have two disabled kids. One of their guidance counselors did not like my disabled husband and thought that my learning disabled daughters odd behaviors were because of domestic /sexual abuse. My child has memory and cognitive issues and she knew this.
I'm sorry that you had a bad experience, but if the school was concerned and you were unable to alleviate their concern with your explanation then they had an obligation to report you and refer for an investigation. So many times children with cognitive impairments are neglected and abused that they were justified in reporting it. I am a nurse and am also required by law to report suspected abuse/neglect. And I do know several people who were reported that were innocent and were really upset by the process. But in my opinion if there is enough concern about a child to inquire then the investigation is warranted and in the best interest of the child. The best interest of the parents is not always the same as the best interest of the child. Working with children you can not imagine what I've seen, so as I said before it's best to report if you even think there is a problem, because you could be saving a child from a terrible situation.
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Old 04-27-2007, 09:26 AM
 
395 posts, read 1,318,541 times
Reputation: 360
I'm sorry that you had a bad experience, but if the school was concerned and you were unable to alleviate their concern with your explanation then they had an obligation to report you and refer for an investigation. So many times children with cognitive impairments are neglected and abused that they were justified in reporting it.

The school never actually told me about their concerns, so I was never given a chance to explain anything.Even if they had I doubt if they would have listened to me.

I work in the nursing field too, as a nursing assistant. That makes me a mandated reporter too even though us assistants usually just work with adults. I only work on weekends 12 hour shifts. I once wished to further my education and become a nurse but I no longer want to do that (nursing). After seeing all the liability that nurses have there is just not enough money in the world to make me want to be one now so my hat goes off to those of you who can go to work every day and face all those liabilities.

I would never deny that there are children who are truly being abused and neglected and they DO need our help. I just think that CPS needs a major overhaul and schools should NOT have access to the hot line records or to CPS records.I would never want CPS to just be abolished , but there is a definate need for reformation.Child abuse needs to be a criminal matter IMHO and not a civil matter.Parents who are accused of abuse/neglect who find themselves in court are not even afforded the same rights as a criminal.

Florida maintains the records for unfounded cases for seven years before expungement. That means that for the next five years I have to continually worry that yet another school employee will call CPS on us once they see three investigations on us even though they were all unfounded. There are already jobs that I would like to get but cannot due to the fact that they check the hot line records

My twelve year old is now in middle school and my ten year old who has severe autism is now home schooled. So I no longer have to worry about HER school calling them on us.

My husband and I always say that if CPS can be that nasty to us they can be that way to anyone. There is no substance abuse of ANY kind in our home.NO domestic violence. We are together for twenty years, married for eighteen and all the kids are his and mine together.We have survived all the tough times life has thrown at us- and believe me ....life sure has a good pitching arm!

P.S. None of our cases ever made it to court.
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Old 04-27-2007, 09:45 AM
 
Location: Between Here and There
3,684 posts, read 10,846,948 times
Reputation: 1650
Quote:
Originally Posted by Floridamom1970 View Post
The school never actually told me about their concerns, so I was never given a chance to explain anything.Even if they had I doubt if they would have listened to me.

I work in the nursing field too, as a nursing assistant. That makes me a mandated reporter too even though us assistants usually just work with adults. I only work on weekends 12 hour shifts. I once wished to further my education and become a nurse but I no longer want to do that (nursing). After seeing all the liability that nurses have there is just not enough money in the world to make me want to be one now so my hat goes off to those of you who can go to work every day and face all those liabilities.
Well I have heard that Florida's DSS is one of the worst run in the country, you seem to be evidence of that for sure. As for the school not contacting you first, that is just wrong. Are you sure you don't have any recourse for that? Even in the hospital we refer to the in-hospital social worker before geting DSS involved...the schools here call a meeting with the parents before reporting. I assumed it would be the same in all states, but I guess not. I'm still a strong believer though in reporting if you think something bad is going on, I just think too many children fall through the cracks because no one takes that step.

As for the liability with being a nurse, as long as you practice within the states definition of the licensed scope of nursing and within the hospitals policy and procedures..you are covered by the hospital. You don't have any liablility, as long as you work for a hospital...I don't know if this is true of working for a private practitioner or not. So basically as long as you don't practice outside your field or break with hospital protocol you are fine. Go get your degree, you'll make more and if you've been an assisstant for a while you will probably breeze through the course work.
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Old 04-27-2007, 11:59 AM
 
4,964 posts, read 3,936,782 times
Reputation: 2917
Just to give you my story.
When I came here to the states first, I was a nanny. The child lived on teh upper east side of Manhatten and the parents also had a 44 acre farm upstate. So you think, rich, good parents etc.

One weekend they were all upstate and had the little boy who was around 2, on the kitchen counter. He put the coffee maker on and put his hand down on it. That happened on a sat. On the tuesday(it was labor day weekend), I came in and the mum said ; show D your hand. Well he had a huge blister on it. So I said, did you take him to the ER, they replied NO. So that morning I took him over to the ped.
The ped proceded to quiz me on the parents drinking habits, called the mother, asked for a meeting with her, she got very annoyed and said ; nobody is going to tell me how to raise my child. Now, background info ; the child had been born a premmie and was still behind, but the parents didnt want to pay for therapies for him.

The ped called SS and the parents and I had an interview with ss. When they came to the apt, the lights had been turned off for non payment of bills, the landlord was threatening to evict them for nonpayemtn of rent.

Child neglect went on the mothers file. It was total neglect. Two months later, I left to get another job, I heard they moved upstate. That child would be about 24 now.
dorothy
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