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The main concern that I'd have is that when I was 12-17 or so, I was massively depressed, had bouts of extreme anger, got in tons of fights, had some pretty heavy sexual fetishes, and even had some bouts with being extremely delusional.
Fast forward to 19-20, basically everything evened out and, while now at 33 I can remember the feelings I had back then, I can't imagine feeling anything like that now. My 20's were fine. Everyone was really, really worried about me back then, and lots of people assumed I had a really rough and possibly short life ahead of me... but here we are.
Looking back, a lot of it was probably due to hormones and whatnot. A lot of it was also situational: my family lived in a mostly middle/upper-class part of urban Metro Boston, but we were living in poverty. My father and I weren't talking because I didn't believe in Jesus. My mom was medicated up due to her own issues and was only half-connected at any given moment. I'd been through a run of really bad stuff that involved a few friends dying. Things were extremely dark. Once I started experiencing the free agency to pull myself out, things changed.
I look back at that time, and there were a lot of people I went to school with who identified as being gay or bi. We had an enormous coming out day event, our school was massively supportive to LGBTQ+ students, and they were given a much wider platform to speak their minds as well as a berth in which to function academically and socially. Far from anyone being ostracized for being gay, being gay was cool. There was immense social pressure among girls to at least be "bi" or be accused of being a "homophobe," which was social suicide. Among guys, this pressure was basically absent, but the gay guys were cooler than our basketball players. Everyone knew Raffi and Gio, while no one knew who our football team's linebacker was.
Fast forward 15/16 years, most of these "LGBTQ" kids from my school are married to a person of the opposite sex and have children, including nearly all of the transgender ones who chose different names, pronouns, and wore clothing intended for the opposite sex. The ones who were legitimately, truly gay or bi or transgender have stayed on their own path and their lives are generally good.
So, seeing as how among a large contingent of young people in coastal American metropolises have decided that being transgender is an extremely "cool" thing to do and find themselves egged on socially to identify themselves as another gender, were my daughter to tell me that she was actually a boy, wanted to be one, and wanted us to sign off on hormone treatments and possibly surgery, I would balk. Those changes and treatments will affect you for life; what if, when I was super angry at the world, I got a facial tattoo and a ton of piercings because I wanted to show everyone how mad I was at the world, and then three years later, I realized it was just a phase? I would have to accept it and move on, with this now being a part of my reality. What kind of a father would I be if I allowed my daughter to forever change her physiology because her social circle at school convinced her that it was really who she was and that she should go for it?
I do know a good number of transgender people; one of my friends who is MTF says that she didn't feel "female" until she was in her 20's, and waited for years before starting hormone treatments, because she wanted to make sure that this was really who she was. She is happy with who she is. Another identifies now as third gender; they had the surgery and lived as a woman for some years but found it unfulfilling, and now regret having had their penis and testicles removed. Another of my friends who is FTM said that she doesn't advise younger people who come to her for answers to go through treatment until they are older.
If my daughter gets into her teens and identifies as a lesbian, that's fine. If she wants to dress in a masculine fashion and tape her chest and live like a dude, alright. I will be 100% supportive. I'd like to think that I'd recognize these parts of her personality when she was younger, but ultimately, it is her life and she should be able to make choices such as these to be the person that she wants to be. But, if she wants to start making permanent and incontrovertible changes to her body that she may regret later? I'm not so sure I can get behind that. After she is older, I have no choice but to defer to what she thinks is best and I would accept it, if nothing else because not accepting it would deprive her of the support she needs. If she had wanted to "be a boy" from the time she was a toddler on up and always hated her female physiology, then maybe I'd feel differently... but... well, who knows.
I think allowing a child to dress how they want is something I would do. Wearing a dress, loving Cinderella, being feminine or masculine, are all things any person can do and enjoy. My brother was like that as a kid- very feminine, loved princesses. He is gay, but he is a man and always has been a man. He's bald today with a mustache, glasses, tall, and thin. And so is his partner! They look like brothers. It's cute.
If my child were to experience something like TG I hope I would be able to guide her into accepting and loving her body and who she is; warts and all.
I am just so on the fence with this whole thing. I know a handful of trans kids (pre-teens to early elementary) and their parents tend to have a similar "hey look at me" personality. One, the first one, I knew, if the child expressed interest in anything birth gender related, then they would be scolded. So...I don't know, it makes me nervous.
However, I took my daughter shopping for some new clothes after a growth spurt and she didn't pick a single dress or skirt, and more clothes were blue then pink. She is not a super girly girl. If she wondered over to the other side and picked "boy" clothes, I wouldn't have said no...heck I bet she would look cute in them. So there is that aspect...I would feel the same for either of my kids.
But then what if they were honest to god believing they were the other gender, caught in the wrong body? I have no idea. Not a clue. So I am trying to refrain from judgment...because I just haven't lived that and its not something I fully understand. I think time will begin to answer these questions...I just hope children wont be harmed in the process. But maybe we are moving the right way? Honestly, I have no idea.
I think each parent needs to do what they feel is right. Every situation is different.
I had a friend who thought her daughter was transgender. She was somewhat encouraging it. I never saw this within her daughter. I was shocked when she was talking about it. However after listening to her it felt more like she was imposing it on her daughter because 'something was wrong'. I raised a few objections because I thought it was very odd. Ten years later her daughter has grown out of that phase.
I have another friend who's daughter has now become a boy. He is almost 18 now and waited until his teen years to start to transition. They were supportive the entire way.
Anorexia and not feeling your gender, are bodily autonomy issues, prevalent in the teen years. Those require parental compassion and nurturing acceptance. Later in their 20s, on their own health insurance, then the young adult can fix their gender.
CNN ? I wouldn't consider wasting my time watching it.
It might be more helpful to explain to children what they are in reality rather than listening to the lie their "feelings" tells them.
"Schools at all levels are being forced to not just tolerate transgenderism, but to embrace it. It is being taught as normal, or even better than normal. Transgender students are seen as somehow special, and naturally all kids would like to be considered special. It is portrayed as cool and fashionable. Through emulation and peer pressure, more kids will want to change genders. End result: Increase the transgender population.
This is indoctrination. Kids are being taught the new paradigm that we are born gender-neutral and we can choose which gender role to act out. Children are very impressionable and they are more likely to accept this nonsense if they are taught it at a young age. Kids won’t instantly become transgenders because of this; but someday, when a kid is feeling isolated, depressed, and confused, he may start to consider a gender change as an option. It’s something he never would have thought of otherwise, but now that the seed has been planted in his head, it can take root later when things get tough. That’s what they are doing. They are planting a seed in the children’s minds. They are hearing this from teachers who they are taught to respect. This is not only indoctrination, it’s also recruitment. They are aggressively creating the next generation of transgenders. This message is being given to thousands of kids daily. There are bound to be a few who are lured into it. They are actually persuading children to become transgenders by making it seem normal. … This is not about teaching tolerance. They could do that by making general statements like “Respect everybody,” “Be considerate of others,” “Love your fellow man” and things like that.Redefining gender is not necessary in order to teach respect for others."
Throughout history , every nation that fell first failed morally.
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