U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-06-2017, 11:54 AM
 
16,724 posts, read 13,690,603 times
Reputation: 40996

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by sawyersmom View Post
If they are just popping out babies without any thought...then yeah...they are breeders.
Especially if they aren't married, and thus get all the "perks" of being unwed with a tribe.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-06-2017, 12:12 PM
 
Location: Raleigh
7,005 posts, read 5,205,709 times
Reputation: 9468
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
To me, a breeder is someone who continuously has children over and over.
I agree, I think the of the term in terms of a welfare queen with 7 children.

I don't find it to be personally offensive, but it is offensive and is meant to be offensive.

And people (in general) are ridiculous. I mean, some people throw shade at a family with four kids to their two. Totally ridiculous.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-06-2017, 12:21 PM
 
Location: ☀️ SWFL ⛱ 🌴
2,108 posts, read 1,425,223 times
Reputation: 7497
The word breeder is meant to convey a sense of urbanity, smartess and intellectual superiority to those using it. Words get picked up on social media and unwittingly parroted by some. The must use word or phrase of the moment used without much thought.

Besides labeling others, there may be another consequence to this. In sci-fi stories, where I first read the word years ago, breeders were the only people allowed to have children, being of genetically superior material. With more people using the word currently and getting it into the everyday lexicon, this could easily be the future. Again.

Last edited by jean_ji; 04-06-2017 at 12:56 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-06-2017, 12:27 PM
 
2,924 posts, read 1,713,930 times
Reputation: 1899
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
"There's enough breeders in this world already!"
if they breed like rabbits, it may not be that offensive
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-06-2017, 12:37 PM
 
Location: Kansas
19,189 posts, read 14,083,338 times
Reputation: 18141
Quote:
Originally Posted by newtovenice View Post
Of course it's offensive. It's meant to be.

Anyone else notice the trend of threads in the parenting section mostly against the idea of being a mom/dad, as if being a mom/dad is a horrible thing? Why is that?
Agree!

And, yes, I have noticed that. I usually don't come into this area since my kids are grown, but to me coming into the forum by those that oppose becoming parents makes little sense. Not sure what their issue is, but always thought those that did this just were uneasy about their decision not to have children.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-06-2017, 12:47 PM
 
Location: here
24,472 posts, read 28,756,384 times
Reputation: 31051
It is used as a derogatory term here, so yes, it's offensive.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-06-2017, 12:50 PM
 
27,993 posts, read 19,664,892 times
Reputation: 16471
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
Examples please?
First, you'd have to see the term as offensive. I do. It conjures up images of livestock being kept penned up for the sole purpose of birthing. For someone to use such a term, it means, IMO, they feel superior to not being that type of a person.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-06-2017, 12:52 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,142 posts, read 22,127,166 times
Reputation: 35577
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
First, you'd have to see the term as offensive. I do. It conjures up images of livestock being kept penned up for the sole purpose of birthing. For someone to use such a term, it means, IMO, they feel superior to not being that type of a person.
I was speaking the apparent plethora of threads on this forum lately decrying parenting, not the use of the term "breeder". I understand why it's offensive and already answered that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-06-2017, 12:53 PM
 
27,993 posts, read 19,664,892 times
Reputation: 16471
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
Well, let's at least be honest. As parents, none of us decided to have a baby because it would help the world. We all wanted a baby, a squishy thing to love and that we thought would love us unconditionally, something we could teach what we know, and hope they do the things we never got to do. For some, they think they had kids just so they'd have someone to take care of them in their old age.

It is the single-most selfish thing a person can do, is to have a child.
My pregnancies were unplanned. All of them.

However, as a parent raising human beings that will be running this world someday, I absolutely take my role as a parent seriously. I hope I am raising children who will become adults that will be productive, charitable, kind citizens.

The selfish thing to do as a parent would be to cater to every whim and ignore the child because honestly that's the easiest thing to do. Raising a child to care about themselves and others can be quite difficult - especially since the job lasts for 6,570 days in active duty.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-06-2017, 12:54 PM
 
27,993 posts, read 19,664,892 times
Reputation: 16471
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver View Post
Rationalization is the most powerful force in the universe. It can be used to excuse all kinds of offenses, and to sway the weak-minded, those who confuse petty grievances for substantive thought. I mean, the self-congratulatory and flighty ramblings of the self-absorbed literati you cite isn't really the banner I'd want to march under. And BuzzFeed makes People Magazine look like the Utne Reader.

Let's begin with the obvious: Words do mean things.

To prove my point, let me challenge you. Walk into a mostly African-American part of your city and liberally use the N-Word. Or toss about a similar epithet in a Latino neighborhood. Or stroll into a diner in backwoods Kentucky and call everybody there a bunch of knuckle-dragging, toothless hayseeds. And when the inevitable happens, blithely tell those rightfully offended to 'stop getting upset over a word.' Are you going to do it?

I bet not, because we both know the consequences would likely be swift and severe, putting paid to that kind of navel-gazing deconstructionist nonsense. So that entire "stop getting upset over a word" argument you quote might be seductive because it sounds bad-assed, but the entire proposition is a facile lie that can be pretty quickly dismantled. Why? Because these same dim bulbs who freak out over the word "childless" and write long and tedious blogs about trigger words and labels turn around and use the word "breeder" without compunction, even while knowing that language can be weaponized. Geez. Not only does this make them a bunch of hypocrites, but lazy hypocrites at that.

Second, the term 'breeder' is powered by intent. The word is intentionally reductionist and dehumanizing, putting those who elect to have children on the level of dogs and farm animals, mindless and driven by instinct. And, of course, by extension, those who choose not to have children are intellectually superior and in control of their hormones. So there's the entire manifest desire on the part of the term's users to self-segregate into a intellectually superior camp. In a sense, it's self-aggrandizement on the same order of people who tell everyone that they're members of Mensa or some such. In fact, it's worse, because it is a fairly transparent play by those who don't have children to gain moral vanity by diminishing those who have children. I have made a moral choice to not have children, which means you have made an immoral choice.

Here's the deal. If you don't want children, that's no skin off my nose. I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I don't think you're going through a phase. I don't think you're being self-centered. I also don't think you particularly deserve a medal for it. But that's no big deal either, because my opinion on the question of your having children doesn't amount to a hill of beans.

On the other hand, as the parent of three children, I don't think of myself as morally superior for having had them. Unless you can't take care of them and raise them to be responsible adults, then having children or not having children is a morally neutral proposition in and of itself. Certainly not something to merit having a label slapped on me.

Meanwhile, whether or not you choose to have children, I do think it's weird to throw those kinds of slurs at the people who are creating the next generation. You know, the people who will be taking care of us in our old age.
::applause::

EXCELLENT post minivandriver!!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top