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We have spoken several times with the teacher after the kicking and abuse. She stated she would be watching him closely to ensure there are no problems. We had a conversation with her after the exposing incident as well. We have stayed respectful of the teacher and her process but clearly this isnt working and will be contacting her again. I will take your advice about meeting with the Principal.
I would have gone to the Principal a long time ago. And if that didn't work, the School Board and if that didn't work the Police!
Could be possible that this other child is being abused by someone himself and could be copying the behavior. Regardless, this needs to be escalated beyond the teacher NOW!! It's not normal and shouldn't have gone past the first time!
All I can say is be careful the school might turn it around on you and asking you why you did not do a sit down with the principal before now ? and don't expect the teacher to take your side because they will and do save their own behind along with their job . Public schools are notorious for covering their tails when in hot water . It happened to my sister , my niece reported a little boy in her class and the next thing you know my sister and her husband are being investigated by cps because they did not believe her or her husband or my niece . Yet one of the neighbors said the same thing was going on with her lil girl . So cps decided to go after the neighbor as well . Low and behold the neighbor told me they were being threatened by cps and the state . The neighbor packed up and moved out of state , she said she could not handle all the problems that came with the investigation , she was visibly scared my sister told me . I am saying be careful when you report things like this . My sisters husband is Hispanic and we think that the principal had a racial thing against Hispanics. They had to bring a lawsuit against cps and went to court and won and they also sued the school district they are sitting pretty Their daughter my niece never went back to that school . This was 12 yrs ago and I'm pretty sure not much has changed in the public school system . Good luck to you just watch your back .
This kid and ones like him need a desk right next to the teacher.
At my daughter's school, the teachers call the principal to pick up unruly kids-he plucks the kid right out of the classroom. My daughter witnessed a kid yanked from her class getting yelled at by the principal for his behavior-Good!
That wouldn't have been a problem in my day. I have a vivid memory of being picked up by the scruff of my neck, handed over to the Principal who read me the riot act in kindergarten speak, and then being dragged back to the classroom to apologize to the kid I enjoyed terrorizing and then to every kid the class. Afterwards, I remember clearly associating my humiliation with my bad behavior and trying hard to be a goody-goody.
Later on, at another school in the 3rd grade, I told a class bully to stop hurting a kid who I knew well from my bus-stop. The bully, Ben, told me he'd meet me in back of the school for a fight when school was over. In great fear, I showed up with a number of supporters/on-lookers. Ben never did.
I still remember both incidents as defining incidents in my life, otherwise I would have forgotten them.
Bullying has only become a serious problem because it is not properly dealt with both by those in authority and our peers at the time.
It's not a matter of being on the warpath, it's a matter of being your child's advocate. If you don't want to offend the teacher, request a meeting with the principal AND her.
Personally, I'd question whether or not the teacher is doing anything since you said things have continued, including kicking your daughter under the table. Why would she even be seated at the same table with this boy? The teacher should be keeping them on opposite ends of the room.
Also, don't be shy about telling your daughter to stay away from him. A simple, "We don't like that he's telling you to do that so please find other children to talk to and play with instead of him" will suffice.
Make it clear now that you don't want them in the same class next year. You'd be surprised at what happens in many schools. Administrators don't want to go against the bullies parents (usually because they're aggressive themselves), and instead of moving the bully they move the kid being bullied. Some administrators don't even address the bullying, they tell the kid being bullied to stay away from him or her. They take the easy way out, so you really do have to push back sometimes in advocating for your child.
OP, the fact that you and your wife waited for the school year to nearly be over to FINALLY deal with the bullying of your child, is honestly ridiculous.
Shame on you and your wife.
This boy is exposing himself and physically hurting your little girl and you're staying "respectful" of the teacher? How has she shown respect for the safety of your daughter? This teacher is obviously NOT effective when it comes to discipline and you and your wife should have taken care of this crap MONTHS ago.
Watch for this child's parents and perhaps even the school staff to claim that he was just teasing, really likes your daughter, just didn't know how to express his interest in and liking for her, etc. They may try to diminish this in any way they can.
Don't fall for it. This boy has significant issues with self-control and appears to enjoy badgering and hurting your little girl. He will not get better by himself and instead is likely to escalate as he gets older, unless he receives proper and consistent intervention. Meanwhile, protect your child.
Long ago, I was pursued by an older child - significantly older, probably fifth grade to my first - on my way home from school, just out of sight of my home. He would stop me physically and verbally threaten me. I was very scared of him and often tearful.
Fortunately, a neighbor witnessed the bullying and came to my rescue and told my parents (I had been threatened with death if I told them or anyone else).
My parents went to the school's principal, who then contacted the older boy's parents - who denied that their darling could possibly have done any such thing. Oh, no, he was playing and really liked me, that's why he was stopping me - he just wanted me to like him and play with him, too. Oh, dear, did he scare me?? But he was just teasing! Right, he was just a sweet misunderstood boy who teased little kids he liked.
Right.
Never mind that I was four or five years younger, a lot smaller and unable to defend myself physically against his attacks or verbally against his threats of violent destruction and death.
That was the extent of it, as far as I know. The boy was not suspended; just told to leave me alone. I received no apology from school, boy, or his parents. As a result, he simply got sneakier and meaner, and I became even more frightened of him.
The boy is still in prison, as far as I know, where he's resided since his late teens for continued violent behavior as a young adult. The bend of that particular twig showed up early. If his sociopathic traits had been identified and treated effectively at age nine or ten, a lot of future pain might have been avoided. Instead, denial ruled the day.
Do not allow your little daughter to live in fear as I did. It's over 60 years since I was victimized, but I have never forgotten how terrifying it was.
Go in there and kick A$$! I am doing it right now to advocate for my son's food allergies and the school putting him in harms way. It is not fun but you'll get amped up and start demanding accommodations.
Maybe you'll do the bully and his future victims a favor.
I'm wondering if anyone notified the parents that their child had exposed himself to a classmate. Do they know their child can't keep his genitals to himself at school? If not, why is the school protecting this child from facing the consequences of this highly egregious behavior, and what kind of a message does that send to victims?
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