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My mother's advice was so consistently bad that whenever I had a difficult choice, I'd ask myself what would my mother do? Then I could eliminate that option from consideration.
My mom is full of “Mom-isms”. My favorite are the ones she has repeated my whole life, “What other people think about you is none of your business @ and “They talk about you, they leave someone else alone”. I’m not overly concerned with others opinions of me.
"If it's not put down in writing, they don't mean it."
"Where's your paper trail?"
"Shoulders back and let your spine fall straight down."
"I know these rules seem silly but the people who are really in charge always notice those who follow them." (Referring to posture, table manners, introductions, thank-you notes, being able to write letters properly, followup, and other etiquette-related things.)
"Get comfortable saying 'No' and leave it sitting alone, by itself."
My mother appears to be a lovely woman - beautiful and happy and kind - to everyone but her family. She isn't even harsh; she is SEVERE. But, she is absolutely correct on those things above, even though it was hard to admit, at first. :P 400 years of New-England, WASP-y poise: cold, rigid, and always with the air of having complete command of every situation. I have softened this a bit... keep the etiquette but with warmth and flexibility with loved ones.
"If it's not put down in writing, they don't mean it."
"Where's your paper trail?"
"Shoulders back and let your spine fall straight down."
"I know these rules seem silly but the people who are really in charge always notice those who follow them." (Referring to posture, table manners, introductions, thank-you notes, being able to write letters properly, followup, and other etiquette-related things.)
"Get comfortable saying 'No' and leave it sitting alone, by itself."
My mother appears to be a lovely woman - beautiful and happy and kind - to everyone but her family. She isn't even harsh; she is SEVERE. But, she is absolutely correct on those things above, even though it was hard to admit, at first. :P 400 years of New-England, WASP-y poise: cold, rigid, and always with the air of having complete command of every situation. I have softened this a bit... keep the etiquette but with warmth and flexibility with loved ones.
This reminds me of another of mom’s isms- “No is a complete sentence.”
This sounds terrible but I can’t remember a single, sensible piece of advice my mother ever gave me.
She must have done, but it is entirely possible I was not paying attention.
I do remember being admonished many times to “just be quiet,” “don’t mention a word about it,” “don’t say anything.”
Not exactly advice, but certainly a theme. In retrospect I realize that most if what I did as a child embarrassed my mother.
Yes, that could be painful. My mother was the same way about me when I was little. I know now that I just reminded her how much like her I was--awkward, homely, too tall, insecure, sad--and she didn't like looking at it.
But one thing I remember her saying always worked out for me. "Give someone enough rope, and they'll hang themselves."
That served me well when someone was being obnoxious at work, particularly the type of person who tries to build themselves up by stepping on others. I found that sitting back and letting them fully be the jackass they were eventually backfired on them, and they were gone. It happened more times than I can count.
“Love many, trust few . . . always paddle your own canoe”.
“Go study - nothing is more important than that”.
“Nobody can ever take your education away”.
My mother always wanted us to be able to be independent and self-supporting no matter what. She went to college during the Depression herself encouraged by her own mother.
She died at age 95 and I miss her every day. Thanks, Mom, love you.
Do *not* have a child to save your marriage. The best advice I ever got from my mother.
Said my mother, who had a child at 19 to "win back" her high school boyfriend husband. He was notorious for cheating on her, including being found by my uncle with another floozie the night before her wedding. She opted to marry him anyway, even after her own brother warned her not to marry him. They were only married a short time when she discovered their marriage had changed nothing--he had a roving eye. She got pregnant on purpose to "domesticate" him. Tactical error on her part. They divorced not long after my sister was born. He had nothing to do with his own daughter.
My sister spent a lot of time and tears pining for a (bio) father who didn't want anything to do with her, while she had a "Dad" (my mother's second husband and my bio father) who raised her.
I could write quite a tome on my sister and Dad's relationship, but I hope I provided enough info to help anyone considering this option to nip it in the bud immediately. A baby will *not* save a relationship that is already broken.
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