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Old 04-27-2019, 08:48 AM
 
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wrt kids: When in doubt, say yes. When challenged that she almost never said yes to me, she replied, I was never in doubt. Oy
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Old 04-27-2019, 10:30 AM
 
Location: North Idaho
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My mother's advice was so consistently bad that whenever I had a difficult choice, I'd ask myself what would my mother do? Then I could eliminate that option from consideration.
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Old Yesterday, 07:35 AM
 
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My mom is full of “Mom-isms”. My favorite are the ones she has repeated my whole life, “What other people think about you is none of your business @ and “They talk about you, they leave someone else alone”. I’m not overly concerned with others opinions of me.
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Old Yesterday, 07:59 AM
 
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"If it's not put down in writing, they don't mean it."

"Where's your paper trail?"

"Shoulders back and let your spine fall straight down."

"I know these rules seem silly but the people who are really in charge always notice those who follow them." (Referring to posture, table manners, introductions, thank-you notes, being able to write letters properly, followup, and other etiquette-related things.)

"Get comfortable saying 'No' and leave it sitting alone, by itself."

My mother appears to be a lovely woman - beautiful and happy and kind - to everyone but her family. She isn't even harsh; she is SEVERE. But, she is absolutely correct on those things above, even though it was hard to admit, at first. :P 400 years of New-England, WASP-y poise: cold, rigid, and always with the air of having complete command of every situation. I have softened this a bit... keep the etiquette but with warmth and flexibility with loved ones.
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Old Yesterday, 09:28 AM
 
1,656 posts, read 1,529,351 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LieslMet View Post
"If it's not put down in writing, they don't mean it."

"Where's your paper trail?"

"Shoulders back and let your spine fall straight down."

"I know these rules seem silly but the people who are really in charge always notice those who follow them." (Referring to posture, table manners, introductions, thank-you notes, being able to write letters properly, followup, and other etiquette-related things.)

"Get comfortable saying 'No' and leave it sitting alone, by itself."

My mother appears to be a lovely woman - beautiful and happy and kind - to everyone but her family. She isn't even harsh; she is SEVERE. But, she is absolutely correct on those things above, even though it was hard to admit, at first. :P 400 years of New-England, WASP-y poise: cold, rigid, and always with the air of having complete command of every situation. I have softened this a bit... keep the etiquette but with warmth and flexibility with loved ones.
This reminds me of another of mom’s isms- “No is a complete sentence.”
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Old Yesterday, 09:41 AM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,031 posts, read 13,829,438 times
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This sounds terrible but I can’t remember a single, sensible piece of advice my mother ever gave me.

She must have done, but it is entirely possible I was not paying attention.

I do remember being admonished many times to “just be quiet,” “don’t mention a word about it,” “don’t say anything.”

Not exactly advice, but certainly a theme. In retrospect I realize that most if what I did as a child embarrassed my mother.
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Old Today, 07:06 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
This sounds terrible but I can’t remember a single, sensible piece of advice my mother ever gave me.

She must have done, but it is entirely possible I was not paying attention.

I do remember being admonished many times to “just be quiet,” “don’t mention a word about it,” “don’t say anything.”

Not exactly advice, but certainly a theme. In retrospect I realize that most if what I did as a child embarrassed my mother.
Yes, that could be painful. My mother was the same way about me when I was little. I know now that I just reminded her how much like her I was--awkward, homely, too tall, insecure, sad--and she didn't like looking at it.

But one thing I remember her saying always worked out for me. "Give someone enough rope, and they'll hang themselves."

That served me well when someone was being obnoxious at work, particularly the type of person who tries to build themselves up by stepping on others. I found that sitting back and letting them fully be the jackass they were eventually backfired on them, and they were gone. It happened more times than I can count.
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