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She knows they are lies. That doesn't make them not lies. Read the op again. It is way different than making house rules. The 2 can't be compared.
You are correct, I glossed over that, when she admitted she knew it was a lie.
It does not change the situation in one bit. This is not a kid, she is an adult who is choosing to stay in that house that she has no ownership in. When you make a choice, there are ramifications, one for her is this tight control of money. She of course can choice for this not to happen, and leave that home. It may suck, but she has to weigh that against the suckage of mom and dad's house. At this stage in her life her environment is her choice, deal with it, or find a new environment.
You are correct, I glossed over that, when she admitted she knew it was a lie.
It does not change the situation in one bit. This is not a kid, she is an adult who is choosing to stay in that house that she has no ownership in. When you make a choice, there are ramifications, one for her is this tight control of money. She of course can choice for this not to happen, and leave that home. It may suck, but she has to weigh that against the suckage of mom and dad's house. At this stage in her life her environment is her choice, deal with it, or find a new environment.
It has nothing to do with mom and dad's house. Mom and dad can charge her rent, make her do chores, even set a curfew. They can not control a 25 year olds money.
My problem is with my parents and the money I am making / finances. I asked them about hoping to get my first credit card today because I wanted to get one already. They still think I will be living with them for the rest of my life, so they said I dont need a credit card since I wont be moving out. Of course I know by 25 I can once I get the money, so of course I had to suck it up so they dont start stuff. So I said I need creditcard so I can get credit for cell phone and car. Without it, I cant have either and that would become a problem.
I wanted to open a checking account so I can save 75% of paycheck for bills (future rent, car, car insurance, cell phone, etc). I dont trust myself keeping all my money in one account for money for me to use because I may go over and use bill money on myself, and that would be a problem. So I said I wanted to open a 2nd checking account and leave some of the 25% thats left over in there, and some of that would be in a savings account that I want to open up.
They said they know about finances and claimed I only need one account for everything, and only money I need to take out is for savings account, but Im not allowed a savings account. They said money market is better than savings. They also said they making me use the one checking account to keep both combined and they going to make me open the money market account.
The checking account I have now is the one still from college that has both my name and my dads name on it. Even though I commuted to college, I needed his name on it because sometimes I couldnt make deposits so he would do it. Only still had it so I can pay for Netflix and Hulu.
Now I dont know what to do because its obvious that they want to take over everything. And its obvious they want to try and control my money because of how they acted and advice they gave me, plus they said the banks require more than one person on the account because if I cant do something, someone else can, which means either parent has to be on or both parents. I just want everyone to know that I know its false, so I dont want anyone thinking that Im still believing their cr@p. I also dont trust them because of how they acted with this one account I have - they ended up screwing me over because they said one thing and found out they lied and then they found out about it and then told me they knew all along I couldnt and didnt know why I would do it. With this account, I have no access to it even though I have me name on account with them.
On a side note that I forgot until now, I know I can open a bank account with just my name on it but I am nervous to do it because they are forcing me to listen to them, which means they expect me to do as they say. If I dont, they would come after me verbally and try to convince me I am doing something wrong and/or illegal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by chb119
You are correct, I glossed over that, when she admitted she knew it was a lie.
It does not change the situation in one bit. This is not a kid, she is an adult who is choosing to stay in that house that she has no ownership in. When you make a choice, there are ramifications, one for her is this tight control of money. She of course can choice for this not to happen, and leave that home. It may suck, but she has to weigh that against the suckage of mom and dad's house. At this stage in her life her environment is her choice, deal with it, or find a new environment.
What do you think the purpose of the bolded is? Do you think this is the first time her parents have been overly controlling? If not, do you think a pattern of this kind of treatment may have affected the OP, and her ability to function as a normal adult? Do you think a young person who can't even access her own bank account really has the tools needed to move out?
Obviously, the OP needs to move out. It isn't as black and white as you re making it, and the financial control has nothing to do with "my house my rules."
Youre 25? Then act like it. You dont need their permission to get a credit card, to open a checking account, to open a savings account. The problem are you making for yourself right now is engaging in a conversation about those issues. Dont talk about it.
Just do it. You can get your statements online, they wont come to your mail box.
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