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Old 12-05-2006, 02:34 PM
 
7,047 posts, read 15,990,548 times
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Child Support "Enforcement".......what about "Enforcement" of what is done with the Child Support money? The money is "suppose" to be used for the well-being of the child, not for the ex-spouse to go out and "party" with, buy them new clothes or anything else that is not "child related".
Years ago (late 70's), my ex came to my apartment and asked me if I could give her her monthly child support payment two weeks early. I had the money (didn't tell her that though), but did ask her why. She told me, believe this or not, "I'm helping (her boyfriend) buy a "brick" of pot." To say the least, I was upset and told her to leave my apartment. She started crying a little, looked at me and said, "I'll spend the night with you". I was really half temped to say yes, but said "no, now go!". Even though I wasn't totally sure where the money was going, I continued to give her the "support" money. When I would see my daughter, she looked fine and was dressed nicely, so I just had to think that the money was going to her.
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Old 12-05-2006, 04:51 PM
 
4,781 posts, read 1,930,782 times
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My child's biological "person",has only seen my child twice in 11 years.
Out of those 11 years he paid child support for (two) of them. Yes, he had to have his checks garnished because he wouldn't pay. When the garnishment started he was working part time. The C.S.E set the amount at $120 a month.
Now, do you think you can raise a child on that. (pretty good deal for him that is $2,880 dollars in 11 years). Let's not for get how much it cost just to have a baby! I had to pay!

I'm so mean, I had the amount raised after hearing he was making more money than what he had turned in two years earlier.
The amount jumped up to $260 a mo. Still less than some peoples "Car" payments! Check out what he does.....

He hires a lawyer asking for visitation. He wanted my child every other weekend, every other holiday, two weeks in the summer,the list went on and on. But this one that got me mad. He wanted him every fathers day!

I only had to ask him once and he answered right away. Here is what I said, How about my husband adopt the child.....then you won't have to pay any child support. He jumped right on it.

My husband has raised our child since the age of two. Anyone can be a Father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy.
It was an easy decision for us. He can keep his money!!

P.S people who Father a child and only put a check in the mail once a month (are sad)
Fathers who can't even do that are "Pathetic".

PS.S That goes for "MOMS" too who leave there children.
OK, I am done venting. too!

Last edited by DBNN; 12-05-2006 at 05:31 PM..
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Old 12-05-2006, 04:52 PM
 
Location: Colorado
10,017 posts, read 16,694,959 times
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My ex husband allowed my husband to adopt our son because he didnt want to pay his 150.00 a month child support. Which I gladly allowed.
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Old 12-06-2006, 03:18 PM
 
1,094 posts, read 2,589,603 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DBNN View Post
Do not let finances ever define your happiness or who you are . I have been there. About to loose it all. (My husband was out of work due to back surgery) Here is something that helped me through a hard time.'
Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow, will worry about itself, Each day has enough trouble of it's own.


With GOD all things are possible.
Thank you for that! I know everything will work out, it's just hard when you're right in the middle of it, then you get through it and look back and wonder how you did. But I know we'll be fine, it's just so frustrating!
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Old 12-06-2006, 03:41 PM
 
1,094 posts, read 2,589,603 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jammie View Post
Happee, since your ex is on disability, wouldn't that qualify for the children to also receive money from the disability plan of social security? Not sure what the laws are, but it shouldn't matter that the parents aren't living together. Have you checked into that?
He has only APPLIED, never been approved. Actually, he's applied twice and his worker in MI just told him as long as he keeps reapplying, they won't touch him. It just doesn't seem right, because anyone can apply, doesn't mean they'll get it. Everyone involves knows its just a stall tactic. In the meantime, he hasn't seen the kids in years now and doesn't even call or send birthday cards anymore. The two oldest are dealing with it, but the youngest
is still having quite a few issues with it. He makes promises to them he doesn't keep when he seess them, so they may be better off in the long run NOT seeing him.
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Old 12-07-2006, 04:02 AM
 
3 posts, read 7,518 times
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I'm a Mom that pays child support...now. My ex-H and I are good friends, and our kids have always been well taken care of, ie financially, mentally and physically. The state(OH) came after me, threatening jail because I was late paying...it wasn't my ex. In fact he showed up at the court telling them not to put me in jail. This is what I found out, the state ALSO has their hand in my paycheck via "poundage" fee, and it was THEM who wanted their money not my ex! This child support thing is WAY out of hand...the state shouldn't even have to be involved. People should really think about caring for the child before having one, not after...(I know, I know sometimes it "just happened" But that's why there's birth control out there!). Women, a lot of them, were having kids just to get more welfare checks and now that the state declared that they had to work at least part-time, they've switched their tactics over to child support. It makes me mad, especially since I overheard three women talking about how they were planning to spend their monthly child support checks buying clothes, getting their nails done, and a new hair-do...this conversation took place in the small lunch area of my work place and all three women were part-time!!! Not one of them mentioned a child, the supposed benefactor.
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Old 12-07-2006, 07:58 AM
 
1,094 posts, read 2,589,603 times
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I SO agree with you! After my DH sent his last payment (almost 4K, right after losing his job-thinking we'd be left alone for awhile) he calls to talk to his child and we find out, not only are they (the ex, her new hubby, DH child and the ex's other child) going on a cruise to mexico, but when they get there they are going to rent a flipping submarine. We are in the process of being evicted, (he still can't find a job) we don't have enough food in the house, we're almost out of propane and they are going to Mexico and renting a sub?!! Why is that right?! And why should we be paying for the ex to take her new hubby and a child that isn't my hubby's to Mexico?!! It just makes me so angry. I try not to dwell on it and I know things will work out, but I'm about at the breaking point. She has never had to work, and when they first split up, she spent the money he sent for the CARE of his child, on pot and acid, and now she's cleaned up her act, but now instead of paying for drugs, we're paying for her to go on a cruise?! I'm really trying not to be bitter, but at this point in time it's just not working...
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Old 12-07-2006, 09:35 AM
 
Location: Springfield, Missouri
2,814 posts, read 11,895,182 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by happeemommee View Post
I SO agree with you! After my DH sent his last payment (almost 4K, right after losing his job-thinking we'd be left alone for awhile) he calls to talk to his child and we find out, not only are they (the ex, her new hubby, DH child and the ex's other child) going on a cruise to mexico, but when they get there they are going to rent a flipping submarine. We are in the process of being evicted, (he still can't find a job) we don't have enough food in the house, we're almost out of propane and they are going to Mexico and renting a sub?!! Why is that right?! And why should we be paying for the ex to take her new hubby and a child that isn't my hubby's to Mexico?!! It just makes me so angry. I try not to dwell on it and I know things will work out, but I'm about at the breaking point. She has never had to work, and when they first split up, she spent the money he sent for the CARE of his child, on pot and acid, and now she's cleaned up her act, but now instead of paying for drugs, we're paying for her to go on a cruise?! I'm really trying not to be bitter, but at this point in time it's just not working...
Too bad you're moral. This is why the world has hitmen! I'm sorry things are so difficult for you. Is there a nearby church who might be willing to sponsor your family to stop the eviction and help with food/essentials over the hard spot?
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Old 12-07-2006, 09:40 AM
 
Location: Colorado
10,017 posts, read 16,694,959 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MoMark View Post
Too bad you're moral. This is why the world has hitmen! I'm sorry things are so difficult for you. Is there a nearby church who might be willing to sponsor your family to stop the eviction and help with food/essentials over the hard spot?
Hitman!!! How many times did I consider this!!!!
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Old 12-07-2006, 09:51 AM
 
Location: Springfield, Missouri
2,814 posts, read 11,895,182 times
Reputation: 2000001281
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nea1 View Post
Hitman!!! How many times did I consider this!!!!
Yeah, obviously no one would do this in his or her right mind, but when I was sitting around with my friend Dave and a couple of other divorced men, most with grown children, and we were talking about Dave's ex who's made life a living hell for him (she's the obese one who went to the court and claimed he owed her $16,000 in back child support, they didn't do any verification, research, investigation...nothing...instead the court automatically went on her word and put garnishments on his wages...BIG garnishments. She got the $16,000 and he never had failed paying his child support! It's taken a year of legal manuevering to get the garnishments stopped and it turned out she used the money for herself to get a stomach staple which her insurance wouldn't pay. Dave has sued her for the money and for all legal expenses incurred. His lawyer says they'll win and the ex may go to jail as well as be ordered to reimburse Dave). Anyway, as we downed our drinks and empathized with Dave, we came up with scenarios of how we could take her out and end the issue I was for ringing the doorbell and just popping her off, the other guys wanted far more intricate eradication plans starting with disabling her by breaking her knee-caps, etc. Divorced men sitting around with liquor discussing a vicious ex are not an empathetic group!!!! Fortunately Dave, for all he despises his ex, is content to let the courts do their thing.
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