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People are saying that THEY'D be bored, or were bored, staying home with small children, not that all women are supposed to be. If you're happy staying home with your kids, great! Why do you care what other women do or think?
Only people who are insecure about their choices are angry about other people making different ones.
<cross-posted with Kibbiekat>
I agree. Some of my family and friends stayed home, some chose to work, and some did some of each. I never heard any of them passing judgment on others. And now that the kids are grown up, I don't see any difference in them based on this issue.
This whole thread has said that, Mightyqueen. Did you not see that? About half the posters on this whole very long thread, have said women should be bored with taking care of their own children, and they're foolish to not pursue careers full time and put their kids in daycare. And also, that friends they meet at playgroups are boring and dull and only talk about diapers. And their children are mind numbingly boring to be around.
In my playgroup, there was a lawyer, a family practice physician, an electrical engineer, and others. We CHOSE to stay home, because our children were the best company we ever met. We had fabulous experiences together, and one husband said "you could sell tickets to your conversations!". That's a joke, but we actually had incredibly interesting conversations and relationships.
ENOUGH calling women who chose to raise their own kids boring or uneducated or dull. Enough. Interestingly, among this group of 15 kids, 8 of them were national merit scholars in high school. What are the odds on THAT? (I do have to admit that my kids were not the national merit scholars).
Seriously...how many docs go $200k in debt and then stay home permanently? Or for more than a few months even? Only if hubs is independently wealthy. And to have those smarts and motivation...never to use them again? Right...they have their own "little patient". But you're not supposed to treat people you are emotionally involved with so...oh well. I think most women know their own minds better than that. How many men would throw away $200k and then they'd be praised for their sacrifice of being a SAHF?
This whole thread has said that, Mightyqueen. Did you not see that? About half the posters on this whole very long thread, have said women should be bored with taking care of their own children, and they're foolish to not pursue careers full time and put their kids in daycare. And also, that friends they meet at playgroups are boring and dull and only talk about diapers. And their children are mind numbingly boring to be around.
In my playgroup, there was a lawyer, a family practice physician, an electrical engineer, and others. We CHOSE to stay home, because our children were the best company we ever met. We had fabulous experiences together, and one husband said "you could sell tickets to your conversations!". That's a joke, but we actually had incredibly interesting conversations and relationships.
ENOUGH calling women who chose to raise their own kids boring or uneducated or dull. Enough. Interestingly, among this group of 15 kids, 8 of them were national merit scholars in high school. What are the odds on THAT? (I do have to admit that my kids were not the national merit scholars).
No! Not should be, but are. And not all women (or men), but specifically some of those who choose to work when they don't necessarily have to. . That's all. The OP was asking why some women stay working when they don't have to. And one of the many reasons is that they don't really like it.
If that doesn't describe you, great! There was an undercurrent that women who work just don't care about their kids which is equally false as saying SAHPs are boring.
This whole thread has said that, Mightyqueen. Did you not see that? About half the posters on this whole very long thread, have said women should be bored with taking care of their own children, and they're foolish to not pursue careers full time and put their kids in daycare. And also, that friends they meet at playgroups are boring and dull and only talk about diapers. And their children are mind numbingly boring to be around.
In my playgroup, there was a lawyer, a family practice physician, an electrical engineer, and others. We CHOSE to stay home, because our children were the best company we ever met. We had fabulous experiences together, and one husband said "you could sell tickets to your conversations!". That's a joke, but we actually had incredibly interesting conversations and relationships.
ENOUGH calling women who chose to raise their own kids boring or uneducated or dull. Enough. Interestingly, among this group of 15 kids, 8 of them were national merit scholars in high school. What are the odds on THAT? (I do have to admit that my kids were not the national merit scholars).
I have not seen any post that says this.
Women were asked "why" and they answered with their own feelings and experiences. No one said anyone "should" feel anything. Or that anyone was dull or uneducated. Or that their children were mind-numbingly dull. I really dislike when people question other poster's reading comprehension, but if that is what you got out of this discussion, then in this case it might be warranted. Frankly, it's a bit concerning that you (and possibly the other poster who seems to be having difficulty following along as well) are homeschooling. Not one poster chastised or degraded other women for their decision to stay home.
Last edited by maciesmom; 06-06-2017 at 07:47 AM..
This whole thread has said that, Mightyqueen. Did you not see that? About half the posters on this whole very long thread, have said women should be bored with taking care of their own children, and they're foolish to not pursue careers full time and put their kids in daycare. And also, that friends they meet at playgroups are boring and dull and only talk about diapers. And their children are mind numbingly boring to be around.
In my playgroup, there was a lawyer, a family practice physician, an electrical engineer, and others. We CHOSE to stay home, because our children were the best company we ever met. We had fabulous experiences together, and one husband said "you could sell tickets to your conversations!". That's a joke, but we actually had incredibly interesting conversations and relationships.
ENOUGH calling women who chose to raise their own kids boring or uneducated or dull. Enough. Interestingly, among this group of 15 kids, 8 of them were national merit scholars in high school. What are the odds on THAT? (I do have to admit that my kids were not the national merit scholars).
Did we read the same very long thread?
I didn't see where other poster's said it would be foolish for YOU (not you but general you) not to pursue careers full time or put their kids in daycare. I did read a lot of what others did that worked or what had to work for their families when the kids were young. I didn't read anything that said women should be bored but I did read where some of them said they were bored...again their experiences. Why are you taking offense when people are sharing what worked for them but have said multiple times that they don't judge when someone else chooses a different path?
Nobody called SAHM's uneducated or dull. Some of these mom's that worked were also SAHM's for one reason or another. They've done it all and chose what worked for their family at different times. Why is that so hard to understand? Parenting and the decisions that come with it ARE NOT one size fits all. Why must women be judged and looked down upon for working when they have kids? They've been told that they shouldn't have children or should be given to CPS multiple times by a poster here. Feel confident in whatever choice you made for your family and let others do the same without judgement.
I wish I had had scintillating conversations at the park or at mommy and me classes. It just didn't happen. Of course, if the topics revolved around comments like, "my two year old is the best company I've ever been around," then we might just have different ideas about what makes a conversation great.
As far as the national merit scholars, I would expect that in a group of children with professional, highly educated parents. My own parents were not highly educated, but I was in all honors classes in school and the vast majority of those kids in my classes came from professional parents. The educational level of the mother is a factor when it comes to student achievement.
I was one who found the early years of parenting boring and dull. I honestly don't know how people can find that endless routine of feeding/changing/chasing/cleaning babies and toddlers to be mentally stimulating. It's great if you do... but I didn't. At all.
Right. Because a lot of the posters here believe that grad school is better than caring for an infant. You just proved my point, by making fun of caring for the welfare of an infant.
The biggest trick neo-feminism ever pulled was making women believe they are useless and disposable as mothers and that careers are all that matter.
I did not make fun of caring for an infant. I simply stated that working full time on a grad degree doesn't take the person out of their industry. They're still submerged in it. Many grad programs have internships so you're still building relationships. You're still networking as well. Who are you networking with if you're home with a baby all day?
For those saying that it's not fair that women who decide to have kids and take years off yet not be able to come back where they were: Isn't it also unfair for women that DON'T take time off? I certainly agree a woman should be able to choose, as I have as a mother, but I don't see why women that don't should be punished for it either.
I must have missed the posts saying it's unfair. I have seen plenty of people pointing out that it is a factor to be taken into consideration when making the decision though.
I interviewed a kid just out of college recently who told me he was a a parachute baby. I had no idea what that was. He explained that it's when parents have a baby and 'parachute' them off in to the world to be cared for by others (a nanny, other family members) and send them money. He said his parents had careers where they were always traveling. Of course i cant help but be a bit judgy of parents like this. Why have a kid? Just so you can experience birth and be able to tell other people, oh yes im a parent and i have children too.
Some parents are simply better parents than other people. I know many mothers are better mothers than i am in many ways im sure just like im a better mother than many other moms out there also. Im sure there are much better wives out there than i am also.
Some SAHMs sit on the couch and drink alcohol or smoke pot all day. Just because someone is a SAHM it doesnt necessarily even mean they are doting all over their kids all day.
[quote=ss20ts;48407334]I did not make fun of caring for an infant. I simply stated that working full time on a grad degree doesn't take the person out of their industry. They're still submerged in it. Many grad programs have internships so you're still building relationships. You're still networking as well. Who are you networking with if you're home with a baby all day?[/quote]
Your baby.
Isn't it as important as the guy in the Starbucks line who you saw once in your office that you just have to talk with?
Who is more important?
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