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Old 06-17-2017, 09:03 AM
 
4,228 posts, read 7,972,814 times
Reputation: 5001

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I still cannot come to terms that a 20-something year old is afraid to open an email account - ? Afraid to open a Facebook page in plain sight? Just what would happen to your mother if you do these things? (that any 13 year old can?). What is it that you are afraid of? She will scream? spank you? what sort of terrible deeds would come from her? Are they really that terrible? You are adult enough to put any other adult into their place: stop the arm that is swinging towards you, raise your voice yourself, add threatening tembre to your voice, call police. Leave any place without anyone's permission, finally.

I cannot shake off the feeling that we are talking to Norman Bates. So polite and charming and reasonable. But with a co-dependency with his mother that is hard to understand.
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Old 06-17-2017, 12:38 PM
 
24,705 posts, read 31,851,801 times
Reputation: 30012
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicholas_n View Post
My mom has been completely against Facebook since its inception. I did make an account in secret, but I've been hesitant to log on much or friend many people because I don't want her to find out, at least not until I am able to move out.
What? You are in your early 20's. That doesn't even make sense.
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Old 06-17-2017, 01:12 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
12,304 posts, read 10,357,267 times
Reputation: 20498
In your 20's and no job? That's very rare. You're parents are beyond controlling you. Did you go to college? You should start looking for at least a part time job. Start saving for a phone, car, an apartment. You can be self sufficient. Millions of people in their 20's around the world have done it!
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Old 06-17-2017, 07:54 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
415 posts, read 216,313 times
Reputation: 644
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
What? You are in your early 20's. That doesn't even make sense.
Basically everyone I know, she knows. If I do anything on Facebook, word will get out. I get some of her concerns about it, but I'm not stupid and think I know what is and isn't smart to share online.

I am reading everyone's suggestions on here when I get a chance. Y'all have given some great advice, and I appreciate it greatly. Right now, I'm living under their roof, so they have the final say on what the rules are, but I have begun looking around on job sites and am trying to follow what some of you have suggested. I don't think anything will happen overnight, but hopefully the ball has begun rolling.
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Old 06-17-2017, 08:06 PM
 
10,032 posts, read 7,989,939 times
Reputation: 18092
Unless your contra dance friends are all part of the home school group, your mother is unlikely to know them all. And if they are all from the home school community, well, stay with that group for now, get your dance licks well established, then visit some less homogeneous contra dance groups. There are plenty in your general area. Make new friends, or at least new friendly acquaintances (dance groups tend to be very welcoming). No reason you can't continue to dance with the home schoolers - as well as meet some new folks.

Use this opportunity as a stepping stone. Get to know more people - find out what they do, what they're like. Not all of them will become best buddies, but some will be good potential friends. Once you get to know more people, more opportunities of various kinds should result.
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Old 06-17-2017, 10:24 PM
 
7,073 posts, read 4,015,067 times
Reputation: 8463
Quote:
Originally Posted by RosieSD View Post
Nicholas,
What about taking some of your classes on campus in the Fall? Is that not a possibility at all?
Nicholas,
You may have missed this question I posed earlier and I don't want it to get lost. Is there a reason you can't take at least some of your classes on campus, instead of online?

That would at least give you an opportunity to meet and interact with people your age.

Hope to hear from you soon!

Last edited by RosieSD; 06-17-2017 at 10:36 PM..
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Old 06-18-2017, 06:41 PM
 
5,729 posts, read 1,642,955 times
Reputation: 5609
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicholas_n View Post
I am taking three classes this summer, and since they are considered short-semester classes, I have a fair amount of deadlines. But aside from that, and doing chores/work around the house, I don't have much to do, so I get pretty bored throughout the day. Mainly I just browse around on forums like C-D that offer something I have an interest in, or read non-fiction books that appeal to me. As far as skills go, I'm great at fixing things that I can work on with my hands, and I am quite interested in finance.

And I know a few girls, but I either don't really have a good way to reach them or they are currently in relationships. Actually asking one of them out doesn't really intimidate me as much as not having a good way to communicate with them because all of them just text and Facebook their friends.

Well, it's time to leave school and get out into the world, since it doesn't sound like your classes are geared toward jobs.

So it sounds like you have no work skills. Being "interested" in finance isn't going to help you. So you should just start looking for an entry-level job of any kind that might hold a little interest for you. It's a pity that you didn't focus on this two months ago, when people get summer jobs.

As for girls, what you need at the moment isn't a way to "reach" them, but just to gradually find yourself a mixed group of friends that you can spend time with. So find some activities that interest you, and propel yourself out of the house. That's a good first step in terms of your mother, too, to get her used to the idea that you're spending more time out in the real world, not sitting around at home.
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Old 06-18-2017, 09:32 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
415 posts, read 216,313 times
Reputation: 644
Quote:
Originally Posted by RosieSD View Post
Nicholas,
You may have missed this question I posed earlier and I don't want it to get lost. Is there a reason you can't take at least some of your classes on campus, instead of online?

That would at least give you an opportunity to meet and interact with people your age.

Hope to hear from you soon!
Hi, sorry, I didn't mean to overlook this one. My situation is a little bit complicated, as the community college I take classes at is three hours away from where I live. That is the primary reason I have been taking classes online. I have family in the area though, so I may be able to work something out for this coming fall. There are some additional logistical reasons that would complicate taking classes online as well.

To address some other posters, I completed my A.S. this past spring, but want to transfer to a state university with a finance program. There are a few specific classes I haven't taken yet that are required for the business/finance program, so I am taking those classes this summer and fall at my community college to keep costs down.

And yes, my mother knows the people I go to contra with fairly well.
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Old 06-18-2017, 09:35 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
415 posts, read 216,313 times
Reputation: 644
Quote:
Originally Posted by nuala View Post
I cannot shake off the feeling that we are talking to Norman Bates. So polite and charming and reasonable. But with a co-dependency with his mother that is hard to understand.
If you only knew how accurate that comment is...
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Old 06-18-2017, 09:57 PM
 
Location: Florida
4,827 posts, read 3,332,208 times
Reputation: 9505
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicholas_n View Post
Hi, sorry, I didn't mean to overlook this one. My situation is a little bit complicated, as the community college I take classes at is three hours away from where I live. That is the primary reason I have been taking classes online. I have family in the area though, so I may be able to work something out for this coming fall. There are some additional logistical reasons that would complicate taking classes online as well.

To address some other posters, I completed my A.S. this past spring, but want to transfer to a state university with a finance program. There are a few specific classes I haven't taken yet that are required for the business/finance program, so I am taking those classes this summer and fall at my community college to keep costs down.

And yes, my mother knows the people I go to contra with fairly well.
How far away is the state college? Can you go live near that school, either with a family member or in some type of shared housing?
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