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Based on the IMO overprotective people on this thread I won't state when I started leaving them home while I ran down the street to the store for 15-20 mins.
In case some people didn't realize, not every one lives in a high crime, busy neighborhood. And even those who think they do are likely overestimating the risk.
When I leave my kids at home my biggest worry isn't that they'll befall some tragedy, it's that they'll let the dog out and forget about him and he'll wander down the hill for a swim in Lake Michigan and then it's a ***** to get him out of the water.
Not only that, but it depends on the kid. A friend of mine has a son who, at 5, she had no issue with leaving him home alone for a few minutes to pick up the neighbors mail when she was gone. He was calm, and rational. Followed the rules, could think on his feet. My grand nephew is very much like that.
Her daughter? Total opposite. Panicky, and freaked at everything. And into everything! She'd leave a clean home for those five minutes and come home to some sort of calamity. Friend had to take her with to get the neighbors mail. She was more like 12, before she wouldn't set out to destroy the house when her parents weren't there.
So I'm with you....there is no standard age for leaving them at home.
Not only that, but it depends on the kid. A friend of mine has a son who, at 5, she had no issue with leaving him home alone for a few minutes to pick up the neighbors mail when she was gone. He was calm, and rational. Followed the rules, could think on his feet. My grand nephew is very much like that.
Her daughter? Total opposite. Panicky, and freaked at everything. And into everything! She'd leave a clean home for those five minutes and come home to some sort of calamity. Friend had to take her with to get the neighbors mail. She was more like 12, before she wouldn't set out to destroy the house when her parents weren't there.
So I'm with you....there is no standard age for leaving them at home.
I think a neighbor's mail is different than going 3 blocks to the store, which is what the OP asked about. I used to go down the street 4 houses to the mail box when the kids were very young. I didn't consider that "leaving them alone."
Say you live close enough to some store where you could get to it and back in five minutes time. What would be the youngest age for your child where you would feel okay not taking him or her along for that five minute chore?
For my daughters it was about 12. I started to give them a lot of information then too such as how the breakers and electricity worked, fire, water and appliances around the house. The knowledge helped them to deal with their fears and work around some of their limitations due to their size and strength. Both of them had no prejudice against getting dirty changing oil or working on the car with me. I showed them how to wire up lights and all kinds of stuff. They even got zapped a few times.
I'd leave them home for hours at a time by age 14. The mom didn't like that but I would press for it usually the maternal instincts would win out.
About age 15 they figured out it was all man's work and wouldn't even get near it.
Why on earth not? You aren't asking the neighbor to babysit from afar. You are letting them know there is a child alone, so that if they happen to notice something, they'll know. Maybe they look out and see a persistent sales person at the door. If they know a kid is home alone, they'll keep watching to make sure the person leaves. If they thought no one was home, they would just go about their day. Maybe you told the kid to go next door if they happen to need something.The neighbor should have a heads up.
That is asking the neighbor to babysit from afar.
Yes, the neighbor should certainly have a heads up if you tell your child to contact the neighbor if they have a problem.
Years ago, decades ago really, maybe even before I had kids (33 years ago now) I read an article about latch-key kids. Remember we're talking the 1980s, that hey day of parenting according to some people. Anyway, it discussed this neighbor thing, and said if you think you're child is taking care of himself by running to the neighbor's, he's not. The neighbor is taking care of him. That's a paraphrase, I don't remember the exact wording or where I read it. But it's true! I recall a poster here who talked about some neighbor kid being at her home a lot. At first, she thought it was great, but she tired of it as time went on.
Now I've had some neighbors I've had a reciprocal agreement with, "I'll watch yours if you watch mine", but it seems like freeloading to just palm off one's responsibility on a neighbor with no compensation. I'm not saying we shouldn't all be neighborly, and I'd certainly intervene if I saw something hinky going on, but if the kid is too young to be home alone w/o a neighbor keeping watch on the house, maybe s/he shouldn't be left home alone.
Yes, the neighbor should certainly have a heads up if you tell your child to contact the neighbor if they have a problem.
Years ago, decades ago really, maybe even before I had kids (33 years ago now) I read an article about latch-key kids. Remember we're talking the 1980s, that hey day of parenting according to some people. Anyway, it discussed this neighbor thing, and said if you think you're child is taking care of himself by running to the neighbor's, he's not. The neighbor is taking care of him. That's a paraphrase, I don't remember the exact wording or where I read it. But it's true! I recall a poster here who talked about some neighbor kid being at her home a lot. At first, she thought it was great, but she tired of it as time went on.
Now I've had some neighbors I've had a reciprocal agreement with, "I'll watch yours if you watch mine", but it seems like freeloading to just palm off one's responsibility on a neighbor with no compensation. I'm not saying we shouldn't all be neighborly, and I'd certainly intervene if I saw something hinky going on, but if the kid is too young to be home alone w/o a neighbor keeping watch on the house, maybe s/he shouldn't be left home alone.
I think we're talking about 2 different things. Maybe.
The other day our 60 year old neighbor came over to ask for help because he'd locked himself out of the house. Is he too young to be home alone? Of course not.
I've told the kids to go to a trusted neighbor if they ever need anything. The oldest is almost 14. He's certainly old enough to be alone. That doesn't mean things can't come up. He's never gone to a neighbor for help because nothing out of the ordinary has ever happened. The neighbor is free to come and go. They aren't babysitting. However, if they saw a stranger in our backyard, or at our front door, I hope they would do something, knowing our kids were alone inside.
I don't understand your attitude at all. You are advocating for not giving a neighbor a heads up that your kids are home alone. What could it possibly hurt to do that? If the kids are running next door all the time, then maybe they aren't old enough. Mine are. They would only go in an emergency, which they've never had.
I think we're talking about 2 different things. Maybe.
The other day our 60 year old neighbor came over to ask for help because he'd locked himself out of the house. Is he too young to be home alone? Of course not.
I've told the kids to go to a trusted neighbor if they ever need anything. The oldest is almost 14. He's certainly old enough to be alone. That doesn't mean things can't come up. He's never gone to a neighbor for help because nothing out of the ordinary has ever happened. The neighbor is free to come and go. They aren't babysitting. However, if they saw a stranger in our backyard, or at our front door, I hope they would do something, knowing our kids were alone inside.
I don't understand your attitude at all. You are advocating for not giving a neighbor a heads up that your kids are home alone. What could it possibly hurt to do that? If the kids are running next door all the time, then maybe they aren't old enough. Mine are. They would only go in an emergency, which they've never had.
Well, maybe we are talking about different things, and that's why I said I would always help a neighbor, including an adult who locked himself out, including a 14 year old who needed some assistance. It's hard to explain. I can see telling a neighbor, "I'm starting to leave Mary alone for short times when I run errands, can she come over if she has a problem?". But it just seems presumptuous to say, "I'm going to be gone for a while, I'm leaving Johnny in there alone, would you keep an eye on the house?". I always felt my kids' care was my responsibility, my attitude notwithstanding.
Well, maybe we are talking about different things, and that's why I said I would always help a neighbor, including an adult who locked himself out, including a 14 year old who needed some assistance. It's hard to explain. I can see telling a neighbor, "I'm starting to leave Mary alone for short times when I run errands, can she come over if she has a problem?". But it just seems presumptuous to say, "I'm going to be gone for a while, I'm leaving Johnny in there alone, would you keep an eye on the house?". I always felt my kids' care was my responsibility, my attitude notwithstanding.
I don't feel like giving my neighbor a heads up is not being responsible for my kids' care. It's the same thing as when I give them a heads up that we will be out of town for the weekend. It's an FYI, so if they see something, they'll know the full story. It doesn't mean I expect them to come over and water the plants while we're gone. It means if they see a box truck in the driveway loading up our furniture and electronics, maybe they should call the police.
Also, I wouldn't say "keep an eye on the house." I would let them know Johnny was in there alone. Period. FYI.
I think so much of it has to do with neighborhood safety, maturity of the child, resources the child is able to access, friend and neighborhood support. And other factors, I am sure. There isn't one right answer.
So you expect the neighbor to watch out for your child? I could see neighbor getting caught up in his/her own business and not even thinking about the kid till it was too late.
I guess I have those cool neighbors who talk with each other all the time, ask one another to keep an eye on our homes if we go out of town and report any suspicious activity. Feed their or our animals if one of us go on vacation. We also wouldn't hesitate to call a parent of a child alone if we saw a unfamiliar face on their property and the mom had told us they were home alone or go ask the stranger who they were. Or let the mom know if the child needs help to feel free to come next door or across the street and ask.
I guess we're lucky to live in such an area.
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