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Old 07-02-2017, 10:38 PM
 
Location: Dessert
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I had kind of the opposite experience; my mother babied my older sister and made me work for everything.

Families are weird.
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Old 07-03-2017, 07:37 AM
 
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I was the baby in a family of four and actually my brother (the first) was allowed much more freedom than I was. Financially maybe I got a little more because they had more money as time went on.

Chance are either your parent finances changed between children, they felt they had been too hard on the first child or a combination of the two.

If you are doing well and your sister is having problems maybe she is the one who missed out on better parenting. Then again maybe you are doing better because of other factors. Heredity and environmental factors outside of parenting play a big role.
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Old 07-03-2017, 11:49 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,210 posts, read 107,883,295 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jean_ji View Post
My younger sister got more than I did, more clothes, a new bike instead of used etc. Our parents had two kids out of the house by then and more money when my sister was growing up, it was simple economics, not favoritism. With the older kids out on their own, they had more time to focus on her while I flew under their radar and had more freedom. There's always trade-offs.

It isn't that it's unfair, it's just a different point in time; parents are still growing and evolving just like their children. Give your parents some slack, parenting is on the job training with a steep learning curve. Only time will tell which side of the curve was the better one for you or your sister.
It's true of many families that they're in better economic shape for the youngest child, especially if there's a significant age gap, so the oldest two are out of the house and independent. But parents don't automatically spend more money on the youngest, simply because they're earning more. It IS favoritism. Some mothers favor "the baby" of the family. Some fathers and mothers dote over the first-born, and spend more quality time on that one, if not more money, while the youngest gets ignored.

It's sad. Parent should make more of an effort to be even-handed. They have no idea how their favoritism may affect the least-favored child.
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Old 07-06-2017, 05:53 AM
 
1,638 posts, read 3,831,526 times
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I think it can be true. I have 4 children. The fact is, parents get tired. With your first you are overly cautious, you want to do everything right. As you have more children you realize that a lot of things you were afraid of with your first, are actually ok and won't hurt them. By the time you get to your youngest you're just plain tired. I know I am.

Also parents tend to accumulate wealth as they age, so it's easier to give the younger ones things you probably couldn't afford with your oldest.

That being said, oldest children had the experience of being only children, something younger kids do not. As a result oldest children tend to have higher IQs and are generally more successful in life.
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Old 07-06-2017, 01:07 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
1,843 posts, read 3,058,271 times
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Absolutely. I'm actually a middle child - my sister is 39, I'm 34 and my brother is 32. My sister and I were expected to pay our own car insurance, cell bills etc when we got our first jobs at 15 or 16. Not my brother. When I was in college & working at a deli part time, my mom told me it was time to grow up and get an 'office job.' Not my brother. My sister and I are both married, have homes of our own and she has 2 kids now while I have my first on the way. My brother still lives at home and has single most of the time. My mom makes it difficult for him to move out. Whenever he talks about getting a place of his own, she buys him something new & shiny. Every year on his birthday she sends texts to my sister and me reminding us to wish him a happy birthday. She does not do that for us. The list goes on.
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Old 07-06-2017, 04:19 PM
 
2,790 posts, read 1,643,887 times
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I agree with those saying that parents get tired. Being tough and strict takes a LOT of hard work. And you did that with your oldest, so when you turn to look at your youngest, you're tired from all that hard work so the youngest gets away with everything.

Why do parents put more effort into the oldest? Because the oldest comes FIRST, as in they were born first, so you make more effort for them and make less effort for your youngest because they are second, third, fourth, etc.

Similar to how we expects our oldest to take care of their younger siblings simply because they're OLDER (not because they've shown they can handle it).

Similar to how when your first baby was born, you took pictures of every little thing they did, you put more effort into making sure they're safe because it's the FIRST time you're doing this. But when your second, third, fourth are born, you've seen it all already, so you take less pictures and worry about them less because you already saw that your firstborn survived and is fine.
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