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I echo what TinaWina said! I have 5 children (bat crazy, I know!) - 2 girls, then a boy, and then 2 girls ages 13-23 now. I have loved every minute of it. Going from 2 to 3 kids was the easiest for me - the older 2 just looked at their brother and said "let's go play" and ran off to play so I was able to nurse in peace (as opposed to when #2 came along and my daughter was all over me and the new baby! Yes, life is crazy at times, but I love staying busy and wouldn't have it any other way. I am fortunate because my kids are super close even now that they are older. Social media and technology has helped with that. My kids have a sibling GroupMe so even though one has left the nest they stay in touch.
I have a friend who told me once "the best gift you can give your child is the gift of a sibling!" Now, I am not saying to have 5 kids like me, but for us we love school days, summertime, Thanksgiving, and Christmas mornings and all of the nuttiness that goes on in our home!!
I have 2, but I am about to get remarried to a man who also has 2, so I've basically just jumped up to having 4 kids (every other week, but still). Parenting has definitely turned into "triage" lol. We've started teaching the older ones (age 8) a bit more self care tasks that I used to just do, like how to take showers all by themselves from adjusting the water temp to putting the towels in the laundry, and how to make themselves breakfast and pack their own lunch and add items to the grocery list. That has helped a ton. Luckily we have every other week off to do all the laundry (3 girly girls make a lot of laundry!) We are thinking about having another one... we're crazy but we love it. I third the minivan - we have a Honda Odyssey and it's a lifesaver. I cannot tell you how many times we've had to wait somewhere for some reason, and one of us parents will take all the kids out to the van and turn on the TV in there, so they can play in a contained safe area with some entertainment. The van keeps me sane lol.
First let me say not a ton of desire to have more than 2
My daughter accidentally had a third child and she really wishes she'd been more careful. They had to get a bigger house, a bigger car; everything is more difficult because there are two parents, not three, and it's easier with one parent taking the other child's hand or holding them, etc.
Obviously she wouldn't change it for anything, but there are downsides.
As the oldest, I spent countless hours taking care of my younger siblings. I'm 5 years older so of course I could do a number of things on my own by the time they came along. My parents used that to their advantage and had me babysitting them by the time they were 4 and 5 years old! Needless to say, those 2 siblings are still close. Neither are close to me and always call me "mom" in a snarky way. They had a lot of resentment about their older sibling taking care of them which I always thought was funny since I was the one stuck with them.
I had slightly different experience. I was the 2nd child who ended up always stuck babysitting #3 and #4 (10 and 13 years younger than me). My youngest brother is 19 now & I still have good relationship, lots of love for the younger two & still have sibling type of relationship instead of mom. My older brother on the other hand is only 13 months older than me and I never got along with him, still don't. I think my bad relationship with my older brother is because I was stuck babysitting as pre-teen while mom gave no responsibility to him. I always resented him for that and never got over that.
Less quality time for each child. Possibility of the third child not being healthy and well-adjusted. Money...from weekly grocery bills to college tuitions. Your spouse's opinion. World overpopulation.
You may always feel that way even after you have three....it is simply a strong maternal instinct for some of us.
You may just be baby hungry. So, give that some real consideration.
Maybe you could babysit occasionally for a friend and get it out of your system.
OP! This could be true for you! I think it is for me. I have raised step kids from pre-school aged, 3 foster kids for about 2 years each and adopted 2 infants. And I still *really* want another. But...at the same time I couldn't imagine "starting over". I finally get to sleep in on the weekend. I just have the two youngest (10 and 11) at home and I cant imagine new born.
Oh but I want one! I want another kid. Not even just a new born but even a young kid. And I know, at this point, it would be a nightmare.
I talked to some of my "elders"...women who are past child baring years and had children. Every single one of them describe a "baby fever" that they didn't act on when they were done having kids...and even some had mourning when the ability to birth a baby had passed (even those who had tubes tired).
I have had some of that need really filled by being an "auntie" type to a younger woman's baby (who works for me). I get to play with the baby, hugs and kisses and hand poopie diaper duty off to mom. I got to tell you, its awesome.
I think when my kids are grown, I might foster older kids. I feel like I really not done being a mom-type. But I think I am done with adding to my family in the more traditional way.
For me, going from 2 to 3 was WAY easier than from 1-2.
My children are now 4, 3 and almost 2 (there's 11 months between the first two and 14 months between middle and last) so the closeness in age has been the biggest challenge.
We did have to get a larger car- I have a larger crossover SUV now, but I was due for a newer car anyway so that wasn't a big deal. It is big enough that 3 fullsize carseats fit in the backseat.
If it were entirely up to me, I would probably have more, but I've had some issues stemming from complications with the last birth so know it isn't wise.
I've often heard it said that people regret not having more children, but you never hear a person with multiple children saying they wish they had less.
It is absolutely a personal decision between the couple though. I think a mother instinctively knows when she's 'done'.
When the kids were little (ages 6-4-1), they rarely spent time out of the house as a family because it was too much hassle.
I find that amusing as that is the complete opposite of my experience. As a SAHM, I find it a lot easier to stay sane if we are out and about. We usually go somewhere about 3 days during the week and 1 or both days on weekends.
During the week when it is just me though, I take them to places that I know I can handle them in and that they usually behave in- the Mall, History Museum, Science Center, Zoo, etc.
Grocery shopping by myself with 3 is the biggest hurdle.
I have 2 kids ages 1 and 3. I will be 39 at the end of the month so I'm pretty positive we are done. I always wanted two. I found one much easier than 2...so 3 might make me lose it. I love babies and sometimes feel sad that i won't have another but that's really not a reason to have another because they are babies for such a short time. I am struggling a bit right now. I like to sit down and relax...and I cant...going to work is relaxing right now.
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