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Old 07-28-2017, 09:03 AM
 
Location: St. Louis, MO
4,009 posts, read 6,839,824 times
Reputation: 4608

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Please don't involve her mother for reasons mentioned by other posters.

If flowers on Valentine's didn't work, the girl is clearly not interested.

It's time to forget her and move on.
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Old 07-28-2017, 09:19 AM
 
26,661 posts, read 13,649,462 times
Reputation: 19117
The only good that could come from talking to her mom is that they would realize that you have been stalking the girl and they could then get a restraining order.

Hoping this is not a real post.
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Old 07-28-2017, 10:49 AM
 
Location: Howard County, Maryland
16,398 posts, read 10,427,718 times
Reputation: 36214
The only way I could see involving the mother would be if the OP happened to be good friends with the mother already, to the point where she would feel comfortable discussing her daughter's romantic life with him. Otherwise, no. Just no.
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Old 07-28-2017, 11:03 AM
 
50,377 posts, read 36,005,196 times
Reputation: 76246
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dee1991 View Post
Hi everyone, I had the whole post typed out but my phone died and lost it so I will just ask. Girl I talked to from a dating site lost interest after I made myself look dumb long story short. I tried to get her to give me another chance by sending orchids on Valentine's Day but that didn't work out. We never met in person. This was 3-4 years ago, and she has been single since (still friends on FB). She is 25 now, since the original profile she has always been clear that she is looking for the man she will marry.

She is very close with her mom, I have seen them at the store a few times now and always avoid her seeing me. I have also seen her mom at the store alone at lunch time. Never said anything to her but I am considering giving this one last shot. This time talking to her in person.

My question is, next time I see the mom at lunch (this happens more often) I am thinking about asking her how her daughter is, if she is still single, when she says that her daughter is still single I would ask her if we could talk some time when she's free. Basically I want to explain what happened years ago and why I think it's worth a shot to see if I can get another chance if I met her in person. Note that I have always gotten along with my gfs parents very well so I am sure that I could atleast get her to think about this. Ideally she'd want to help me by giving me any pointers she could. If she did want to help me then Id suggest maybe she text me when they are going to the store and I will "accidentally" see them there and ask the girl out in front of her mom and afterwards the mom would tell her to give it a shot.

I know that it's not as simple as it sounds but I'm asking if I should try to get the mom on my side beforehand or just wait until I see the girl again and then try to talk to her in person, giving it one last shot before I forget about her completely. I just want to have the best odds that it works out.
You never met this person. If I were mom I'd be concerned that you seemed stalkerish, it's a bit nuts IMO to have to have a discussion about "what happened" with a total stranger. If you approached my mom and told her you were still thinking of me and asking for a "second chance", I'd be scared of you.


People drop off online all the time. She started to get to know you and decided based on however you behaved (Im gonna guess you came on way too strong) she didn't want to take it further. If you do anything, write her and ask how she's doing and if she is interest in getting a cup of coffee. Discussing it with her mom is way inappropriate frankly.


I think the orchids probably didn't do anything to take away the "stalker" fears. You never met, you never had a relationship.
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Old 07-28-2017, 11:35 AM
 
4,974 posts, read 5,236,659 times
Reputation: 15733
No. It is way past time for you to have moved on from this lady. You are wasting your time with her. She has already signaled she is not interested in you. She's being polite by keeping you as a Facebook friend. You need to branch out and look at other women.
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Old 07-28-2017, 12:32 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
24,204 posts, read 19,089,383 times
Reputation: 38266
It's long past time to move on from someone who you've never even met in person.
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Old 07-28-2017, 01:02 PM
 
Location: Raleigh
8,168 posts, read 8,481,550 times
Reputation: 10146
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dee1991 View Post
<>I tried to get her to give me another chance by sending orchids on Valentine's Day but that didn't work out.<>
Of course not, orchids are for proms and funerals. Send roses next time.
"Sheesh"
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Old 07-28-2017, 02:02 PM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,126,531 times
Reputation: 27047
No. Speak to the woman that you want to date, especially since it has been years since you first showed interest. Of course, ignoring your flowers in Feb.....after you said it had been years since you first attempted seems like you've already tried for your second chance. If this is correct.....just stop now.

If not....Simply message this woman and tell her that you blew it before....And ask if there is any chance that she would give you another opportunity.

If the answer is no.....unfriend her, and stop the seemingly stalker-ish behaviors....That will only get you into serious trouble. And, no one is worth going to jail over.
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Old 07-28-2017, 02:26 PM
 
1,173 posts, read 1,077,622 times
Reputation: 2166
You should see someone...these are not healthy thoughts or behavior.

Don't talk to the mum. Unfriend the daughter. See a counselor.
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Old 07-28-2017, 04:33 PM
 
Location: NY>FL>VA>NC>IN
3,563 posts, read 1,868,049 times
Reputation: 5996
Why are you so obsessed with her?
Is she stunningly gorgeous? MIT grad? Brilliant artist?

She's probably an average Jane. Why are you stuck on this gal when you have not met her, and she has shown no interest in you?
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