toddler prefers mom....and everyone else over me (baby, toddlers, parents)

[tailsock]

We have 3 kids, all toddlers. The youngest (just turned 2) always wants mama. He wants grampa. He wants the neighbors. He wants everyone else except ME!! My wife says he will eventually outgrow this. I try to inject myself into activities with him or stay home with him while she takes the others to the store but with limited success. Both of my other kids are very close to me and always have been. Is this normal? Advice from others in the know?

[BirdieBelle]

It WILL pass. Just do your thing; he'll come to you when he needs you.

Or get on the phone. That's what always made mine come running.

[HighFlyingBird]

I think it will pass. But I would also step waaaaaaay back and watch if your interactions with him might be outside his comfort zone.

Perhaps you rough play and he doesn't enjoy that. Maybe you are a big cuddler and he likes his space. Perhaps even, our voice is loud and he is sensitive to that.

When I was small, I wanted to be around anyone besides my dad. I did love him, but he was loud and chaotic in his movements and I was really sensitive. He was really hurt but all he would have had to do is think about my needs and come to me calmer. I would have been putty in his hands.

[bellebud]

My now 17yo daughter wanted everyone but me when she was a toddler and preschooler. We co-slept and she was practically on top of me all night, every night, so I figured she got her fill of me in that way (?) I was also home with her (and little brother), so she got me whenever she wanted me. It definitely hurt though, her shunning me during the day. She did outgrow it, around 5yo or so, and was normally attached to me then. So no real answers, just know it's happened to others with a good outcome.

[Whatsnext75]

Sounds like a phase but he really prefers the neighbors to you?

[tailsock]

Originally Posted by Whatsnext75

Sounds like a phase but he really prefers the neighbors to you?

haha I was exaggerating a bit. he does love the guy next door though. Must think he's a grandpa or something!

[jaynarie]

Kids go through phases like this. It can hurt feelings sometimes, but it will pass. My niece got out of it around her third birthday. She can still favor someone, but it tends to vary by day. (Well, on most days she still favors her mom more than anyone else, but it isn't nearly as intense as before.) If she spent the day with someone, she will tend to favor that person for the whole day.

[veuvegirl]

My daughter was like this until three. We now joke around how she hated me until then. I wouldn't worry about it.

[bellebud]

Originally Posted by Whatsnext75

Sounds like a phase but he really prefers the neighbors to you?

Not OP, but answered that my daughter was like this. And yes, my daughter preferred neighbors, even strangers to me, no joke.

She was about 2yo, we're at parent/baby music class, parents sitting in a circle on the floor w/ their kids in their laps. My daughter walked around the circle sitting on everyone else's lap but mine. Other toddlers getting mad at her (understandably didn't want to share their parent), everyone was laughing about it.

At 4yo preK, 1st day, (she was still 3yo because mid-October bday), parents are all standing behind their kids who are seated at their tables. She looks up at me and says "do you have to go mom?" And I'm like "yes sweetie, all the parents have to go, but I'll be back, blah, blah, blah" And she cuts me off and says "SO GO!" Everyone laughed, and I reminded myself I have a strong, independent little girl, while my heart broke, lol.

[Crashj007]

My son seemed to resist me. Every time I would pick him up he would push back away from me, apparently rejecting my embrace. I began to think that he hated me for some unknown reason. It made me very angry and affected our relationship.

Turns out, we found out at about four years old, my son was visually impaired and he was just trying to back away so he could see me better. But we never did get over that uneasy relationship.