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My wife and I are very concerned. We are the 1st generation immigrants, and this is our 1st post. Our daughter is 19 and just went to an inner city college that has a lot of kids on drugs, soft and hard ones.
We grew up in a poor country that drug is absolutely no-no. For our whole live, we never took any drugs, or over-the-counter-pills (couldn't afford them anyway), or even smoked. So, we don't know what are the signs. However, in this new country, many other parents just told us these things always happen in colleges. Kind of told us, don't be so up-tight and to "get-over-it." We told our kids right from the beginning "drug is bad" but now we feel helpless as soon as she went to college, away from home.
This summer, we noticed that she behaved very diff. and slept a lot, and missed email and calls and forgot things, even the activities she promised to do. Additionally, she always wears long sleeve shirts to cover her arms, even in 80-90F days. OK, we understand that it could be a teenager things and that could be just their normal ways to try "to find herself" and all that.
If it's other abnormal things, we are not that worried. But we think taking drugs, particularly hard drugs, can be a start of a downward spiral.
Are we paranoid? or just something we will have to learn to live-with-it in this new country?
How do you know the college has a drug problem? How are your daughter's grades? Kids with hard drug habits don't do well in school, and don't last long. Nothing you've indicated about her behavior screams drug abuse.
Please, we are not trying to make a political point here by saying "The US IS unique in its drug use." We know many other countries have similar problems. We are just worried about our own daughter, nothing more than that.
How do you know the college has a drug problem? How are your daughter's grades? Kids with hard drug habits don't do well in school, and don't last long. Nothing you've indicated about her behavior screams drug abuse.
Her grades are okay, so far. But this was just 1st year.
I'm not sure what is "drug abuse?" If for what ever reasons, tried once or twice, considered "abuse?" Even occasional use, we may want to know, if possible. Obviously, we don't want to make a wrong assumption and accuse her with any proof or knowledge - which we definitely don't have.
Self harm, "cutting", is unfortunately very popular among young girls today. I'd try to see her arms if you can, so that you can provide support and help if that's the case.
If she has needle marks, then that's not something to take lightly and any parent telling you to 'get over it' isn't a good parent and not someone you want advice from. Teens drinking a bit, maybe smoking pot in college is hopefully what these other parents mean, not shooting up.
Good luck and I hope all is good with your daughter.
Location: In my cat's house, until she finds a better human servant
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I'd strongly suggest you seek professional advice right away, it's impossible for people on a forum to know if she is cutting and/or suffering from clinical depression and/or doing drugs. Or has another physical ailment causing exhaustion etc.
No matter what the cause it sounds like something is wrong, but if it is drugs and/or psychological she might not want to talk to you, don't take this personally. But you need to look into how to get her help for whatever is troubling her so it doesn't turn into a tragic story. Or untreated Illness. I wish you and her the best.
I'd strongly suggest you seek professional advice right away, it's impossible for people on a forum to know if she is cutting and/or suffering from clinical depression and/or doing drugs. Or has another physical ailment causing exhaustion etc.
No matter what the cause it sounds like something is wrong, but if it is drugs and/or psychological she might not want to talk to you, don't take this personally. But you need to look into how to get her help for whatever is troubling her so it doesn't turn into a tragic story. Or untreated Illness. I wish you and her the best.
Self harm, "cutting", is unfortunately very popular among young girls today. I'd try to see her arms if you can, so that you can provide support and help if that's the case.
If she has needle marks, then that's not something to take lightly and any parent telling you to 'get over it' isn't a good parent and not someone you want advice from. Teens drinking a bit, maybe smoking pot in college is hopefully what these other parents mean, not shooting up.
Good luck and I hope all is good with your daughter.
Thank you for your info and support.
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