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There is nothing wrong with a casual glance and appreciating youth and beauty imo.
But there is definitely something wrong with targeting a specific person or staring at a certain part of the persons anatomy and being so blatant as to stare or to make anyone uncomfortable by moving to a position to commit what is obviously more than a casual glance can even be imtimidating to adults.
Admiration of a pretty girl is one thing. And lust by a young man or an older man for females that are of age and nice looking is a natural human male reaction.
But when it involves young girls it is a sign of a warped mind and a dangerous person that should raise a red flag and be a warning to protect ones self.
I agree. Casual glances are far from drooling on yourself. Thats what people need to realize. Curves attract male attention. Bottom line. Once age is realized, most stop looking, but until they realize it, they WILL look.
Men let me explain that women do not like to be stared at constantly!!! It is uncomfortable and sometimes down right creepy!!! I had an aunt once that told me being beautiful would be a curse and in some respects it certainly has been. I cannot go out alone or sit alone in a resturant or bar without man approaching me. Men staring at young girls is a lack of self control and a sign of insecurity! Yes there are beautiful people in the world but if a man has that sick strange desire to stare at girls much younger than he I truly believe he has mental health issues!!!! Both women and girls do not like men that have this issue!! Women are attracted to men with integrity and self control. Men respect youselves and others!! Be role models for younger generations to learn respect!!
In India there is watchgroup that intervenes to address this issue and I wish it were active here: Here's my concern; at our grocery store while finishing at the checkout the young male checker (about 18-20) purposely moved behind my daughter and openly stared at her backside! Now, this is common practice here where we live. My daughter is 13, who looks her age, including pony tail was completely unaware of this. However I am, and stared at him to indicate that his actions were inappropriate. A grown male while leaving the store, gazed at my daughter from head to toe, and persistently stared at backside. This is ridiculous, as it causes me to go into Mother Bear mode. This is predatory behavior on the part of males, and it is intimidating and disrespectful to boot. This is openly done, and I wondered is this unique to our area only?
there's a huge difference between glancing/looking at someone and "ogling" a person... the word you used, predatory, is accurate-- please take it seriously...
your little girl should not have to be "intimidated"-- or potentially in danger-- from those who do not take the fact into consideration that a youngster is a youngster & therefore off-limits.
I think you should talk to her about this, and also stay in what you call "Mother Bear mode"- when you witness this sort of thing happening, get in the guy's face and tell him off.
My husband and I talk all the time about how glad we are that we have sons and not daughters. We cringe when we see the girls today and what they are wearing. A popular brand for young girls right now is "Justice"... ever looked at clothing for girls these days? Off the shoulder tops, spaghetti strapped "cami" tops, lacy tops that look like what used to be referred to as lingerie, strapless tops, tube tops, halter tops, bikini's, "shorty short skirts and tighty tight shorts" as my 14-year old son calls them. Everything is tight, fitted, and bra straps and underwear shows.
And then mothers get all upset because their daughters get "oogled" or stared at or whatever.
Hmmm...
There are ways of dressing daughters that are much more modest and attract less attention, but unfortunately it's just not trendy or popular to dress that way. When parents finally decide that they don't want their daughters dressing like trashy pop stars and prostitutes, perhaps boys and men will have an easier time of not getting distracted. I know my son often complains of the way girls dress. When he sits behind them he's afraid to look forward at times because their butts are hanging out of their jeans or their bra or underwear is showing.
under the old system you could be publically beaten for looking at someone the wrong way, you could certainly be beaten for making comments and of course severely beaten for touching.
as it stands unless you are directly threatened with bodily harm or are a pediphile, taking action will put you in jail. born in 1 world living in another.
My husband and I talk all the time about how glad we are that we have sons and not daughters. We cringe when we see the girls today and what they are wearing. A popular brand for young girls right now is "Justice"... ever looked at clothing for girls these days? Off the shoulder tops, spaghetti strapped "cami" tops, lacy tops that look like what used to be referred to as lingerie, strapless tops, tube tops, halter tops, bikini's, "shorty short skirts and tighty tight shorts" as my 14-year old son calls them. Everything is tight, fitted, and bra straps and underwear shows.
And then mothers get all upset because their daughters get "oogled" or stared at or whatever.
Hmmm...
There are ways of dressing daughters that are much more modest and attract less attention, but unfortunately it's just not trendy or popular to dress that way. When parents finally decide that they don't want their daughters dressing like trashy pop stars and prostitutes, perhaps boys and men will have an easier time of not getting distracted. I know my son often complains of the way girls dress. When he sits behind them he's afraid to look forward at times because their butts are hanging out of their jeans or their bra or underwear is showing.
This is very true. I have a rule about buying clothes. If they can't wear it to school then I don't buy it. Nothing low cut or revealing. It might be lacy, frilly, and all that but it can't be see-through or otherwise slutty looking.
I can tell you the boys do look..but I did say BOYS. At 12 she isn't mature looking as my oldest was at 12. My 16 year old on the other hand looks 20. She wears a 36C and is still growing. She gets the looks even though she don't wear anything revealing. She is VERY self-conscious about her shape and wearing anything low cut.
Men let me explain that women do not like to be stared at constantly!!! It is uncomfortable and sometimes down right creepy!!! I had an aunt once that told me being beautiful would be a curse and in some respects it certainly has been. I cannot go out alone or sit alone in a resturant or bar without man approaching me. Men staring at young girls is a lack of self control and a sign of insecurity! Yes there are beautiful people in the world but if a man has that sick strange desire to stare at girls much younger than he I truly believe he has mental health issues!!!! Both women and girls do not like men that have this issue!! Women are attracted to men with integrity and self control. Men respect youselves and others!! Be role models for younger generations to learn respect!!
kinda harsh. I wouldn't say the guy is mental. He may not realize how he looks or thats he's staring, and yes it is rude and can make people feel awkward. But not mental illness lol. He's appreciating something. Granted he's crossing a line into the privacy issue by staring, but again its just a matter of snapping the guy out of it. Have dad stare back and give him a wink and blow him a kiss LOL that'll make him stop.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tia 914
there's a huge difference between glancing/looking at someone and "ogling" a person... the word you used, predatory, is accurate-- please take it seriously...
your little girl should not have to be "intimidated"-- or potentially in danger-- from those who do not take the fact into consideration that a youngster is a youngster & therefore off-limits.
I think you should talk to her about this, and also stay in what you call "Mother Bear mode"- when you witness this sort of thing happening, get in the guy's face and tell him off.
Well if the guy isn't physically touching or stalking, he isn't breaking any laws, so you'd be in the wrong and that would be assault. Just be careful if you decide to do that. Plus it won't stop the guy from looking, he'll just learn to be more descreet about it in the future.
I do agree thats he's being rude and politely asking him to stop staring at you guys would be more appropriate, but getting in his face opens a door to legal rights and he can take that as a physical attack.
Even if you told the cops he was staring at your girl, nothing would happen to him, as looking is not a crime, but getting in a stranger's face is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by haggardhouseelf
My husband and I talk all the time about how glad we are that we have sons and not daughters. We cringe when we see the girls today and what they are wearing. A popular brand for young girls right now is "Justice"... ever looked at clothing for girls these days? Off the shoulder tops, spaghetti strapped "cami" tops, lacy tops that look like what used to be referred to as lingerie, strapless tops, tube tops, halter tops, bikini's, "shorty short skirts and tighty tight shorts" as my 14-year old son calls them. Everything is tight, fitted, and bra straps and underwear shows.
And then mothers get all upset because their daughters get "oogled" or stared at or whatever.
Hmmm...
There are ways of dressing daughters that are much more modest and attract less attention, but unfortunately it's just not trendy or popular to dress that way. When parents finally decide that they don't want their daughters dressing like trashy pop stars and prostitutes, perhaps boys and men will have an easier time of not getting distracted. I know my son often complains of the way girls dress. When he sits behind them he's afraid to look forward at times because their butts are hanging out of their jeans or their bra or underwear is showing.
exactly, what red-blooded male isn't going to look at a curvy female form? ESPECIALLY when you don't know how old they are. When they do realize it they'll stop looking, sure (I assure you its only to be polite or because a parent is there, not because they are suddenly grossed out). But for some, even if you think they aren't looking, they are. Some guys are just better at descretion than others.
I promise too that they will be thinking of how hot that girl is gonna be in a few years and thinking how unfair it is that they look so hot right now and they aren't allowed to look without looking like perverts. In fact when a guy is checking out any female he's not considering her age, as much as her base appearance. The only reason the guy will stop looking is for self-preservation and being polite. If he feels safe to look again, he'll do so regardless of her being 17, 27 or 37. Often a guy is thinking "I don't care how old she is, she's nice to look at". Piggish and wrong perhaps, but if thats as bad as it gets, then the girl is totally safe, especially if no one even knows he's looking at her, then no one feels wierded out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by aidxen
Do men oggle???
Hmm this post came to me asI sat at the traffic lights .... oggling the really nice expensive good looking top end beautiful car in the lane beside me.
Reminded me that if I see a beautiful piece of art, a nice house, a beautiful mountain that I also will enjoy looking at it.
Same with girls.
exactly. Nature's artwork. We can't help it if they get physically mature before they get mentally mature. Looking is harmless. Ring the alarms when the guy approaches her and wants to chat her up.
So why do people get so wond up over girls clothing?
My view is that girls like to be noticed. I agree that being stared at can be creepy. What though is the message that we give our girls if we make them cover up, dress dreary? I think it devalues them. I think that making a girl dress down is giving her a negative image.
Maybe the problem is that the moms are jelous. No one looks at them anymore so they dont want anyone looking at their daughters?
My wife and girls wear dresses and skirts only. Sometimes they are short. They always look good. It gives them identity. They are proud to be girls and do girl things. Sure sometimes people look at them.
As a parent though, part of my duty is to make sure that they are not placed in dangerous positions so if a guy looks thats the most he can do.
It happens a lot in my town, so I say girls cover your business and stop allowing men to look.
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