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Old 09-03-2017, 11:10 AM
 
172 posts, read 70,733 times
Reputation: 323

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
Nope. You're invested in this too.

And let me just point this out: You say you're ok with your son being gay, but how much have you done to support him in this? Because here's the thing: He needs to see normal gay relationships, meet other gay kids his own age and socialize with them. Gay people are something like 10 percent of the population - it's hard to meet people of a similar orientation. In my opinion, it causes gay kids to achieve emotional maturity regarding sexuality kind of late - Dan Savage has some interesting thoughts on this subject.

I think you're scared of him being gay, and you're being reactive, not proactive. That's not helping your child navigate some tricky territory. Stop telling him what he CAN'T do and help him figure out what's acceptable and responsible. Frankly this other kid's parents sound like they're being so open-minded their brains are falling out, so you need to be a voice of reason and also to help your son find support.

You should look into PFLAG.
I feel bad reading this. We've not actively done very much. I'll look at PFLAG.

We have talked to the other boy's parents. They just don't think this is serious which I find scary. They are very liberal in their thinking. I just think it is my duty to protect my kids from consequences they don't see yet.
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Old 09-03-2017, 11:15 AM
 
Location: Denver CO
16,108 posts, read 8,407,290 times
Reputation: 23414
The reality is that a 15 year old who wants to date is going to date. The only question is whether it's going to be with your open knowledge or behind your back.

I do think a 12 year old is too young for a 15 year old and that's regardless of gender and sexuality. But I think you need to do more to actively support your son and help him find ways for him to socialize with other gay kids in order to meet someone who is a more appropriate match in terms of age.
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Old 09-03-2017, 11:18 AM
 
172 posts, read 70,733 times
Reputation: 323
Quote:
Originally Posted by karen_in_nh_2012 View Post
The parents of this gay 12-year-old are "quite encouraging" of his dating? Really?

This is the post where I first thought, Hmmm, is this a new poster? (Yep ...)

And a couple posts down: now the 12-year-old is "strange." And the OP's husband thinks she is being "a bit unfair" in not wanting her 15-year-old to date a 12-year-old? That seems, well, unlikely.

If the OP is being genuine -- and I have my doubts -- seems like she could talk to the 12-year-old's parents, especially since they are allegedly from the same church. But that is such an obvious thing to do, why wouldn't she have already thought of that and DONE that?
I am a new user but I've lurked here before.
Have you considered that I think this because I have talked to them? It is why I don't think we will ever see eye to eye. They are indulgent in their aim to be supportive. They suggested it would probably be over in a few weeks.

I know strange isn't a nice term to use - I just mean he is a bit different. My husband thinks we can handle this better - he didn't say that knowing anything about the other boy.
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Old 09-03-2017, 11:25 AM
 
172 posts, read 70,733 times
Reputation: 323
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crashj007 View Post
Is he internet savvy?
I'd have him search out the age of consent for your State and explain it applies to boy on boy relationships, particularly with regard to children of 12. Detail the kinds of activity that can result in penalties. Search out local examples of prosecution on the news. Explain the costs of a defense by an attorney.
Hunt down the Sexual Offender laws and the registry laws for your State.
Explain to him what "Registered Sex Offender for Life" would mean. No school, no job, no place to live.
This set of consequences would have nothing to do with like, love, beliefs, morals or whatever. Teachers, doctors, pastors, anyone in a position to supervise children would be obligated by law to report anything they discovered.
If you become aware of sexual activity you may be prosecuted as well.
I've mentioned this and he is aware. He told me wouldn't touch him. I still think even without sex the dating is a bad idea.
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Old 09-03-2017, 11:29 AM
 
Location: North State (California)
13,568 posts, read 1,464,244 times
Reputation: 6901
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoftSleepyKitten View Post
I've mentioned this and he is aware. He told me wouldn't touch him. I still think even without sex the dating is a bad idea.
Saying he won't & not doing it are very different things for a teen with raging hormones.
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Old 09-03-2017, 11:35 AM
 
Location: Raleigh
7,759 posts, read 4,687,540 times
Reputation: 9105
Quote:
Originally Posted by evening sun View Post
Saying he won't & not doing it are very different things for a teen with raging hormones.
Go look up the Age of Consent for your State. It will be very specific.
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Old 09-03-2017, 12:07 PM
 
9,498 posts, read 6,629,150 times
Reputation: 16521
Quote:
Originally Posted by LLCNYC View Post
The other boy is 12??????


Gay, straight, bi, green, red purple. NO WAY. NO. HOW.
Makes my stomach hurt.
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Old 09-03-2017, 12:11 PM
Status: "sumer is icumin in" (set 18 days ago)
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
16,858 posts, read 20,625,155 times
Reputation: 40758
How to stop a teen relationship?

Tell the teenagers involved that you approve completely and suggest marriage. That should do it!
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Old 09-03-2017, 12:11 PM
 
Location: Somwhere
2,591 posts, read 919,707 times
Reputation: 6555
Talk to your son about how even a very clever 12 year old is emotionally immature.
A 15 year old would be taking advantage of the younger boy, just like a sexual predator.
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Old 09-03-2017, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
12,308 posts, read 9,407,559 times
Reputation: 20365
Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74 View Post
The reality is that a 15 year old who wants to date is going to date. The only question is whether it's going to be with your open knowledge or behind your back.

I do think a 12 year old is too young for a 15 year old and that's regardless of gender and sexuality. But I think you need to do more to actively support your son and help him find ways for him to socialize with other gay kids in order to meet someone who is a more appropriate match in terms of age.
Absolutely!
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