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These people are not truly your friends if they allow their child to act horribly over and over, especially in front of you, and at your home. Furthermore, they are not truly your friends if you fear being politely upfront with them.
Distancing yourself from them sounds like no great loss.
THIS!!!!!!!!
Omg, who are the parents here? I would prefer to be friendless than to put up with this bunch.
My one nephew could be this kid! okay he is actually my nieces son....but gosh that kid is over energized and since he is always told how "special" a young lad he is. He is adopted and is constantly reminded how they each chose each other. WHile I surely didn't chose this kid to behave with such selfishness in other folks home. Granted he does take after my niece, where her middle name is "Entitled".
Poor kid though...is going to get a rude awakening in the career world...He won't be so special then....
My niece will not take off her blinders where his behavior is concerned. Its everyone else that has the problem in her mind.....
Thanks convextech. That would be our last option since these guys are kinda senior members in the group and kicking them out will be like pissing off other group members as well since they are all long term friends and hang out together more frequently than us. But again, they should raise their kids better regardless.
If you can't uninvited them, lock up everything. All the rooms. Make one area they can be in.
Explain why if adults ask HONESTLY and straightforwardly.
This sounds like a boozy bash for uninvolved dads, or something close to it, since you said it was very early morning by the time the guests departed.
Were the unsupervised kids of widely varying ages expected to play all night? Did any of them get to sleep, or did they maybe just flop down on the floor? How about food? Were they fed proper meals or snacks, or did they forage or just wait until the party was over? What were they expected to do while the grown-ups were partying? Were there any planned activities? Movies? Games? Place for the little ones to nap?
Lots of red flags in this tale of negligent parenting. No wonder the older boy is acting out - he is crying out for attention, and will continue to do so and will escalate his inappropriate behavior until he gets it.
The excuses that you cannot supervise the children or hire a baby-sitter make no sense. Someone needs to be the adult here and be responsible.
Last edited by CraigCreek; 09-10-2017 at 07:35 AM..
The obvious solution is to hire a sitter or two for the evening. And there's no way in hell I'd leave my 5-year-old unattended for hours with 10-12 year-olds who don't recognize or respect boundaries.
This sounds like a boozy bash for uninvolved dads, or something close to it, since you said it was very early morning by the time the guests departed.
Were the unsupervised kids of widely varying ages expected to play all night? Did any of them get to sleep, or did they maybe just flop down on the floor? How about food? Were they fed proper meals or snacks, or did they forage or just wait until the party was over? What were they expected to do while the grown-ups were partying? Were there any planned activities? Movies? Games? Place for the little ones to nap?
Lots of red flags in this tale of negligent parenting. No wonder the older boy is acting out - he is crying out for attention, and will continue to do so and will escalate his inappropriate behavior until he gets it.
The excuses that you cannot supervise the children or hire a baby-sitter make no sense. Someone needs to be the adult here and be responsible.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow;
The obvious solution is to hire a sitter or two for the evening. And there's no way in hell I'd leave my 5-year-old unattended for hours with 10-12 year-olds who don't recognize or respect boundaries.
After reading about the details of the situation (kindergarten/first-graders and 11-yr-olds thrown together into a situation for 8 hrs.? Really?), and the responses, I'm going to echo some of the good suggestions.
First of all, I can't help but wonder why these parents don't hire their own babysitters to watch the kids in their own homes. Are they cheap? Or lazy? Or don't know any baby-sitters? Someone should speak up, and acknowledge that one huge play group of mixed ages allowed to have the run of the house wherever they end up each month (really?? They're allowed to just roam around anywhere in other people's homes all night?) isn't working out. And 7-8 hours is way too long to expect kids to amuse themselves. 2-3 hours for a dinner party is one thing, but 8 hours? This does sound like neglectful parenting.
Honestly, I don't know if you'd be able to find a babysitter who would take on a group of kids for 8 hours. Possibly if you could get two sitters who were friends, and they could work as a team, with one of them providing structured play for the younger group, it might work, but it also seems like a lot to ask of the hosts, to organize two different playspaces, by age group, organize meals for kids throughout an 8-hr. period, as well as providing hospitality for a group of adults. Not to mention expecting the host couple to clean up the inevitable wreckage the next day.
Perhaps the group could consider two separate homes for two age groups, and a sitter for each? This way, the smaller kids could go to bed at whatever their bed-time is, and the older kids could have their own bedtime, and no one has an unmanageable horde to deal with.
Otherwise, the situation is simply unrealistic. The expectations for a group of unsupervised kids during an 8-hr. completely unstructured play period are unreasonable.
If the other parents have no qualms about essentially abandoning their kids for 8 hours, and you feel you can't discuss the arrangement with them to find one that works better (without accusing any specific kid, but presenting it as a general principle that kids need more supervision for such a long period), then you might want to reconsider whether these are the kind of people you want to be friends with.
Good luck, and let us know how it all turns out.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 09-10-2017 at 11:46 AM..
An easy solution is to hire a sitter or two, and the expectation is that kids need to bring a sleeping bag + mat. There needs to be a bedtime at some point, and the sitter will be there to facilitate this. Then when the parents leave at 1am, they can go grab and wake up their own kids.
An easy solution is to hire a sitter or two, and the expectation is that kids need to bring a sleeping bag + mat. There needs to be a bedtime at some point, and the sitter will be there to facilitate this. Then when the parents leave at 1am, they can go grab and wake up their own kids.
Or they could just do what most parents do and get their own sitters and leave their kids at home. If its a family event it ends at a family time (8pm...maybe 9). 1am is an adult event. People get babysitters and leave their kids home for adult parties.
To compensate a baby sitter for 7 children (fairly) would be at least $50 an hour. What people did to me when I was a early teen is have me come over and just keep adding kids. And then I would get the same pay at the end of the night. If each family has to pay about $10 an hour anyways, might as well get a sitter. Sitting a large group of kids in the middle of a lot of energy (the parents get together) is a bloody nightmare.
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