Do You Regret Having Your Children? (grandmother, hair, normal, dinner)

[FLhereIcome]

My only regret is that I didn't have more children so that someday they could provide me with a ton of grandkids!

[chielgirl]

Originally Posted by SCGranny

Likewise, being childless is not a sanctified state either; you are not saving the world from overpopulation, the world is continuing to overpopulate and ignoring you and your intentions. What better proposal could you offer the world than a well-raised intelligent child without hangups or prejudices?

Can we agree that neither state is sanctified?

Well, most of we childfree people, as we like to be called, have chosen not to have kids for whatever reason. For me, it is one less line of people on the planet to consume/

I can easily propose to offer the world nothing in the way of resource users than offering the world a child, no matter what that child is. This is the worst logic I’ve ever heard.

Originally Posted by mari4him

I have said it before, I respect and even admire your decision to remain child-free, but their has to be a mutual respect for those that choose not to remain child-free and instead choose to have children. Just consider the possibility that phrases like "overpopulating the world" and "most shouldn't breed" could be taken as an attack and your (generic) telling us that we shouldn't be having children. It is an attack on our right to have families if it is so our choosing to do so and we shouldn't be blamed for overpopulating the world or be told that we shouldn't breed simply because there are some bad parents in the world. I mean thats like saying we shouldn't live because their are bad people in the world. Not everyone is bad, in fact not even most are bad, there are however some bad people in the world.

Just try to see it from the other side and how it could have been taken.

Do I now think I should have not accepted Kristy’s baiting, certainly, but I took her at her word. My mistake.

Originally Posted by KristyLiz

OK, and how would the child feel? So horrible that it would better they not be born? Wow - who are YOU to make that decision? You certainly think highly of yourself.

Could very well be. Why would I choose to bring a child into the world knowing my disinterest and unavailability to that being?

Originally Posted by KristyLiz

Of course our decision to have kids was all about how we feel - who else would it be about? Should we have asked some unborn child whether or not they wanted in on this earth thing? Honestly, this makes absolutely no sense.

Again, how did the children you decided not to have feel?

They wouldn't feel anything because we do not have them.
I like the little anti-choice dig about "unborn child" - until birth, it's just a fetus.

Originally Posted by Donna7

My God, get a Webkinz. Occupy yourself taking care of one and doing fun activities online. You need something to take up your day. I cannot, for the love of all that is good, understand the absolute FANATICISM of those who debate endlessly about a subject that supposedly has NO interest to them. How is this possible? Are you trying to convince yourself of something? If so, that's fine, you have things to work out. We all do, but why does everyone else have to be involved in your own search for the truth? There's nothing that anyone can say that will ever satisfy you, you know it all, you are the enlightened one, you are the Budda, so to speak, we all bow to you. Now go live a happy life and free yourself of yourself, if that's humanly possible.

Then why do you continue to engage?
There is also nothing that anyone can say that will every satisfy you.
Might I wish you a happy life, as well.

Originally Posted by KristyLiz

I agree that the decision to have kids is not the time to play the martyr, but I disagree that it's so black and white as to whether you want kids or you don't. I think lots of people have a fear of the unknown, and since raising a child is a very big unknown, it can be scary.

Also, if she goes on to have a child with her main motivation being the happiness of her husband, I seriously doubt she will be a mother who doesn't fully want her child.

Mark my words, she will be fully engaged and commited as a mother, because, although this thread would have you believing otherwise, it is very rare that a mother is not.

This just slays me. Why would want someone who doesn’t want kids to have them. Why can’t you just let people make up their own minds and accept that not all people want to reproduce. Parenting is NOT for everyone.

Originally Posted by Lillietta

Is your life over? LOL. Your worries will come. But not from kids You won't have that comfort.
May divorced women do OK It's their ex-es who have to give up the dough. You seem to have known onlysocio-economically deprived women. Don't give me false statistics when the divorce rate is 50% or so and by law most men pay.

I do not view children as a joy. You are not guaranteed that your kids will love you. I gave you no statistic. Most men are supposed to pay; a great number do not.

Originally Posted by mimimomx3

Ok, I was going to let this one go, but since you are constantly posting about people putting YOU on the defensive, I will ask: isn't this a little insulting? You thing most people shouldn't 'breed'? Who decides? You? That's scary.

I guess you missed the part in what you just quoted, where I stated: But I'm not trying to force my opinions on you for any reason, especially by law.

[Bette]

No regrets as I said before! Did not plan for children initially - never actually thought I'd get married even - 2 surprises - I had so much responsibility as a young person that I just never thought much ahead. So getting married and having children was a delightful surprise!

In my life, though, I have always worried about being lonely. I have always had to work so much that I don't know how to relax but when I go somewhere, I make sure I have fun.

I feel bad for some of the posters on here - please don't be so bitter; just be thankful for what you have in life.

[kwflconch]

No, I don't regret having my children, why would I. Now I have beautiful grandchildren.

[KristyLiz]

Hey, make up your mind here - you either decided not to have kids to save the planet (a planet, BTW, that will be here long, long after we humans are gone), or you decided not to have kids because you are disinterested and unavailable?

Originally Posted by chielgirl

Well, most of we childfree people, as we like to be called, have chosen not to have kids for whatever reason. For me, it is one less line of people on the planet to consume.

Why would I choose to bring a child into the world knowing my disinterest and unavailability to that being?

I like the little anti-choice dig about "unborn child" - until birth, it's just a fetus.

Ah, you are so off base, you have no idea.

So far you have me pegged for a Christian pro-lifer - you could NOT be further off base. But, I guess it's easier for you to target me if you make me fit some mental picture, so carry on.

[vukinjo]

Chielgirl - you are right on that parenting is not for everyone and while they do bring joy to many including me, many others do not feel that way. No matter the reason, being childfree should be just as acceptable as having children. Some want a lot of them, some only want one and some do not want any. It very much is a personal choice and should be left at that. Let's be real, the real issue isn't whether childfree women and couples are missing out on anything but those who have children and mistreat or neglect them or just don't raise them to add to society and instead add to the problems.

[Sunnydee]

I've never regretted having children. It's the hardest job I've ever loved.

[Summering]

Originally Posted by Sunnydee

I've never regretted having children. It's the hardest job I've ever loved.

I totally agree. And........it feels the same with Grandchildren.
People can say whatever they want......it is a feeling of pure love and joy that no one can take away. Hard work, sad days, happy days......all rolled up into the little souls that God gave us to love. I enjoy every single minute of it. In fact I am missing the little fellows faces right this minute......
( I personally am saving the word "breed" for my dogs.......)

[mimimomx3]

Originally Posted by chielgirl

Well, most of we childfree people, as we like to be called, have chosen not to have kids for whatever reason.

I guess you don't like 'childless', I don't like 'breeding'. Fair enough?

[SandyCo]

I don't regret having my children, but the timing could have been better. I had them when I was pretty young. The end result is that my daughter is taking on a ton of student debt to go to UC Berkeley. *sigh* I feel bad about that. On the bright side, I'm in my mid-40s and just about done with child-rearing.

I didn't have my kids for the best of reasons. I got pregnant with my daughter to replace another baby who died in utero, and I got pregnant with my son because I was careless with birth control. Having said that, I love them both to pieces; they're great kids!

I'm happy that they're now adults, although my 19-year-old son still lives at home. The day to day grind of a divorced parent is tough, no doubt about it. I wouldn't recommend raising kids by yourself to anyone!