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This is a question for parents only. Have you ever encountered a situation where your child's teacher, didn't like your child or treated him/her unfairly? And why do you think that was? And how did you deal with it?
I think it's would be pretty unusual for any kid to go through 12 years of schooling without at least one incident of being treated unfairly by a teacher. We had our share with three kids, but I can only remember 4 cases where I intervened. Three of those teachers apologized to the child, one teacher, who didn't even have my son in his class, was reprimanded by the principal.
If the teacher really seemed to not like my child, I would request they be moved to a different class. But, I believe the vast majority of teachers are professionals, capable of having a bad day, but not vindictive.
As a teacher, I can honestly say that I have never run across a child that I didn't like. I would never treat a child differently because of his/her behavior. They are children. There have, however, been plenty of parents I couldn't stand. Nine times out of ten, if a child has issues (barring any true diagnosable condition) it all made sense as soon as I met or talked with the parents. Or if the parents didn't have time to meet or talk about their child, which happens a lot.
I think it depends on age, how it is affecting the child's education and self esteem. If the child has any disabilities and those are being ignored and/or exploited.
There is one case where a high school teacher seems to ride a student hard in a way that makes the student upset...but the student can still function and achieve. Or if the teacher is universally a hard ***. That is a "life lesson". And maybe the student can learn how to deal with people in those situations.
But if its a younger child...if the child is being humiliated in front of peers...if the teacher is making it so the child can't succeed, or if the child has a special need and the teacher is refusing to follow IEPs, 504s or just making an example out of them.
In those cases you document as much as you can. You run it up the flag pole. And if you don't get relief for your child, you walk in to the office and unenroll them in school (follow up with a lawyer, look for alternative schools or options, etc). The latter issues are abusive and a parent should never allow that to happen, because being abused isn't a life lesson.
Or if the parents didn't have time to meet or talk about their child, which happens a lot.
I cant get my daughter's teacher to find time to talk to me. She has learning disabilities and is lost in school right now because she is getting no assistance (new school/district). Teacher just tells me she will look at her schedule and get back to me. And then doesn't. Less then pleased.
In my case, I have a bright child with learning and developmental delays. We knew they existed but didn't have them nailed down in 3rd grade. He had a 504 (which was worthless). This is when he started having school refusal. I never got communication from the teacher so I had no idea what was wrong other then my son was not liking school anymore. When we had our parent teacher meeting she clearly had a very unfavorable view of my son from him taking too much of her time, him being "lazy", not very smart and "deserving" to being bullied by the other boys because he was less mature. She told me I needed to "get used to" this about him.
I went to the office and I took him out of school that day. I had been trying to work with the school to get him the services he needed all along and they dodged me constantly. I wasn't going to put my child through one more day there.
It took 3 more years of a lot of work to identify his specific struggles and get him the supports he needs...but
He doesn't take more time then he deserves
He is quite smart and does well in school
He isn't at all lazy (he has to work harder in some areas but always tries his hardest if he is set up to succeed)
and he has friends and is well liked by nearly every kid and adult he knows.
I still want to send her a box full of poop confetti.
If I were firmly convinced that my child was being singled out and treated unfairly or badly, I would be down at that school in a heartbeat and demanding a meeting with the Principal and Teacher involved.
When my twins were in school, we had one teacher who kept making odd comments about my one son, hinting that she thought he was somehow being abused. My wife and I went there, had a meeting with them both, and demanded that this stop and stop now . We left no gray areas.
We were friends with another teacher at that school, and he went to the offending teacher and said "You really do not want to mess with these people because they will fight to the end for their sons." and he was right. It wasn't that we had blinders on, we knew our kids were going to have obstacles in their lives, but this situation was different and warranted our intervention and attention.
Too many people are wimps when it comes to confronting these authority figures. If your child is being mistreated, you need to get yourself down there and at least put them on notice that you are aware of it.
Too many people are wimps when it comes to confronting these authority figures. If your child is being mistreated, you need to get yourself down there and at least put them on notice that you are aware of it.
Its a delicate dance. I complained once about the school nurse (she was crossing boundaries with my 5 year old, not following doctor's instructions and saying she knew best, giving alternative "treatments" I had not authorized, not calling me when instructed). I was initially polite but firm. Then momma bear came out a bit. We got black-balled from the school and couldn't come back. They circle their wagons. Since then I have learned you have to be very delicate in some of these situations.
As the parent you are always wrong...at least at some schools.
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