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Wake up and smell the coffee. If you acknowledge the child is legally yours on the birth certificate or anywhere else you are on the hook for child support for 18plus years even if the child is not yours. So if the 2 of you break up there could be a big issue. Get some real legal advice!
OP, she's your GF, not your wife? Why aren't you two married, if you moved across umpteen states and bought a family house? If you're not married, and the child isn't yours, you can walk. It's her problem, not yours. You could either put the house up for sale, or boot her out of it, unless she has a legit reason to be pregnant by another guy, like she just broke up w/someone before meeting you.
Where did you hear this information, anyway? Are you sure the source is reliable? If the child isn't yours, it could well mean she suckered you into the whole make-a-family scene, to get a safety net for her child. But I'd make good and sure the rumor you heard was from a reliable source. And of course, get a blood test.
Wake up and smell the coffee. If you acknowledge the child is legally yours on the birth certificate or anywhere else you are on the hook for child support for 18plus years even if the child is not yours. So if the 2 of you break up there could be a big issue. Get some real legal advice!
This, too. Excellent advice! Don't sign the birth certif. until you know it's your child. And talk to a lawyer.
I think it boils down to.. does it matter to you? if it doesn't, why take the test at all?
the parents don't need to know if you'll love the child and your new family just the same.
Because it isn't all about him. It is about the child's right to know their bio parent. Its about having long term security for the child...courts can really mess this situation up. And its about the bio father to know he has a child.
Because it isn't all about him. It is about the child's right to know their bio parent. Its about having long term security for the child...courts can really mess this situation up. And its about the bio father to know he has a child.
I still don't get this kind of thinking.
I agree with these reasons. But I don't see any valid reason to share this relationship development with the OP's parents at this time. If the paternity results are negative, then the OP has a decision to make. Stay with the gf and raise her child, or walk. If the choice is to walk, that's the time to share with the family the "why". If he opts to stay, there is no good reason to tell anybody the child isn't his.
So I broke down and told my mom because she was shopping for a warm coat and given the messiness of the situation I don't want anyone from my family at the birth.
A few more details. At around this time last year my gf's ex moved back into the town we were living in back then. Her ex tried to get back with her from day one. I was uncomfortable with the situation from the beginning. Because she was friends with her ex's sister, she felt she couldn't block him out completely. She promised me that nothing would ever happen between them and that she is with me now and that she would never do anything to hurt me.
Fast forward to last week. This creep shows up and tells a bunch of people from her family that he is the father, and I confront my gf about the whole thing. First, she says that she was coerced into sex while she was blacked out and unconscious in early December, but the timeline doesn't match up because if the incident happened in early December, the baby would have been born by now. Then she changes her story repeatedly to mid December, then Mid January, and now she says she wasn't coerced, she was just drunk making a bad decision and "doesn't remember" the day or month that it happened. The whole time she insists it was only one drunken incident.
It makes me very uneasy about the entire situation. Her ex lives across the country and he's indicated he fully intends to take her to court to establish paternity and get joint custody and try to get my gf to move over to where he stays.
The estimated due date is in less than 10 days and I want a blood test. My gf indicated she wants to live with me but that if things don't work out the way we want them to on the test, she might have to "bribe" him to keep him out of court...whatever that means!
Because it isn't all about him. It is about the child's right to know their bio parent. Its about having long term security for the child...courts can really mess this situation up. And its about the bio father to know he has a child.
I still don't get this kind of thinking.
Not to mention.....it's his GF, not wife!
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