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I don't doubt the research. I have seen it. I doubt the conclusions. The extremity of your conclusions in particular.
Amen.
"I have the research, the best research, huge research. I am not sharing that research but trust me it is bigly data, the best conclusions, everyone says so."
Do it for any reason other than this nonsense that not having one will somehow make them behind in technology. Staring at these things and having stilted "conversations" with their equally clueless friends is not part of some race to the top.
Besides, many kids are already experienced with ipad minis and the like by the time they are 6. Getting a smartphone in middle school should not be to keep up with technology. They just want to be cool like their friends. I agree with the movement to keep them out as a whole community as late as possible, but of course other parents ruin it for some.
My kids got them at age 12. It's how young people communicate nowadays. Although you and I got along fine with the phones with the looooong twisty cords stretching across the kitchen and through the living room into our bedrooms, that's not how kids interact in 2017. They text or Skype or Facetime.
"I have the research, the best research, huge research. I am not sharing that research but trust me it is bigly data, the best conclusions, everyone says so."
This reply is a bit pointless given the many already, but I got a phone when I was 12, which seems fairly reasonable to me. Once you get into middle school everyone has a phone, and any younger than 11 or so and having a smartphone is unnecessary and even a bit ridiculous, so it's a sort of "window" to me I guess.
Well, thanks for stopping by. Anecdotes are always helpful.
Well, much of this thread is by definition anecdotes. I may have missed some links to studies by professionals somewhere. If you've got medical studies, whatever... we're all ears.
Also, I was responding to another poster, so I don't know where you were coming from
Clearly it is not serious to you, but fibbing about what can and cannot be done with technology is serious to parents like the OP and to people who actually do this as part of the job.
It is absolutely fine to now know these terms. It is not fine to present your lack of knowledge as fact, which is exactly what you did. BTW, there is no hacking an iphone UNLESS YOU JAILBREAK IT. So again, please stop presenting misinformation.
But you keep presenting misinformation which makes people fear phones. And no one said you had to do anything. But you insisted that these things were not possible, and that there are work arounds, there are not.
That is all irrelevant to the fact you keep insisting things that are not true.
Actually the person who was insisting it is not possible to use parental controls of smartphones is not talking about parenting styles. You jumped in on a sidebar about what is or is not possible to do with a smartphone with more misinformation.
You’re a peach, aren’t you?
I wasn’t “fibbing”, I was just presenting the truth as I knew it. Nicely, at that. You are the one acting like I strangled puppies for knowing that kids hack around parental controls and monitoring apps all the time, but not realizing all the steps you were taking could be effective. I even bolded the whole “you were right” concession as a peaceful gesture once I figured out what you were saying was correct, and you are still basically implying I’m a liar who is willfully scaring people. I mean... seriously?
And when I move on from that to explain why I personally am not so scared of internet shenanigans - that I like to focus on judgement building and why - you just keep quoting then dismissing my words to argue a point I was no longer making, and in fact already conceded.
And the strangest part is I AGREE with you that parents shouldn’t be scared of cell phones, even if we have different reasons for our beliefs.
In summary(once more, with feeling LOL):
1. YES, you can childproof a phone. YOU ARE CORRECT. I WAS WRONG. You can hang a scarlet W on my neck now. Heh.
The following OPINIONS are related to the GENERAL DISCUSSION and not YOU PERSONALLY:
2. It is my personal belief that because a determined kid has multiple ways to access the internet, I prefer a strategy that focuses not so much on shutting down what they access, but building the discernment to handle the internet well, and make good choices while on it.
3. I think it’s perfectly appropriate to start teaching that discernment around the same time the child is judged capable of handling increased independence - typically sometime in middle school.
4. I prefer to do that by putting some limits on the phone itself and by closely monitoring usage, keeping a dialog going, and setting strong expectations as to what kind of behavior I expect along with consequences when those expectations are not met.
I feel like that should make my stances pretty clear now. Hopeful hostilities can cease. LOL
The following OPINIONS are related to the GENERAL DISCUSSION and not YOU PERSONALLY:
2. It is my personal belief that because a determined kid has multiple ways to access the internet, I prefer a strategy that focuses not so much on shutting down what they access, but building the discernment to handle the internet well, and make good choices while on it.
3. I think it’s perfectly appropriate to start teaching that discernment around the same time the child is judged capable of handling increased independence - typically sometime in middle school.
4. I prefer to do that by putting some limits on the phone itself and by closely monitoring usage, keeping a dialog going, and setting strong expectations as to what kind of behavior I expect along with consequences when those expectations are not met.
This, 1000%. Thanks for describing it much better than I can!!
Well if you can make it totally kid safe you must be a genius and should write a book because I sat down with an apple expert and he explained exactly why and how iphones cant be set up for children. And it was only a few months ago. There are things you can do but nothing to lock it down enough to be totally kid safe. He set it up for me and it wasn't good enough.
I was an Apple Associate for a time and have to say this is the stuff of fantasy, no Apple employee would ever say anything even remotely negative that would have a customer questioning their decision to buy an Apple product.
If you have to lock down the phone to the point that it is a functionless brick, your kid isn't ready for a smartphone.
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