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And yet, I went to public school, within the last decade, and you think my views are, "weird, outdated and puritanical."
Well you implied that curiosity about privates was handled with "that's dirty" and yes that is outdated and detrimental long term.
Now a kid putting fingers in their butt which is also normal, sure that is a dirty area and something to keep them from doing. We don't want that in their mouths or painting the wall or silverware. Calmly explaining that poo poo is smelly and yucky so please don't do that is enough
Moderator cut: delete
Last edited by Miss Blue; 10-26-2017 at 07:05 AM..
Reason: Off topic and not necessary for this conversation
May be watching neighbor or relative who is inappropriate, just witnessing it outside too...Do you have teenagers nearby your yard? Sometimes the daycares do hire teenagers too or have the off cleaning crew/maintenance guy around at odd times...Babysitter may be talking smut on phone babysitting or inviting the male over to your place. Might leave the laptop or hidden camera running if you have visitors or babysitter around to see what is wrong here.
Moderator cut: delete
Sounds like it is time for the talk about appropriate and inappropriate behaviors. Hit the coaching thing hard about 'friends won't like that kind of stuff' to make him a bit more self conscious of his behaviors and see things how an older person would see the situation as 'reasonable person'.
Would also question about where he heard this stuff before you really coach or respond with any anger so you get the answer out of him. TV can run some trashy stuff too...
Moderator cut: delete
Last edited by Miss Blue; 10-26-2017 at 10:14 AM..
Reason: deleted as off topic
Your situation probably has a perfectly sane and rational explanation. A camera in back yard may not hurt if you have teens or tween kids playing closeby too...
May be watching neighbor or relative who is inappropriate, just witnessing it outside too...Do you have teenagers nearby your yard? Sometimes the daycares do hire teenagers too or have the off cleaning crew/maintenance guy around at odd times...Babysitter may be talking smut on phone babysitting or inviting the male over to your place. Might leave the laptop or hidden camera running if you have visitors or babysitter around to see what is wrong here.
Moderator cut: Orphaned
Sounds like it is time for the talk about appropriate and inappropriate behaviors. Hit the coaching thing hard about 'friends won't like that kind of stuff' to make him a bit more self conscious of his behaviors and see things how an older person would see the situation as 'reasonable person'.
Would also question about where he heard this stuff before you really coach or respond with any anger so you get the answer out of him. TV can run some trashy stuff too...
There is a good mix here of reactions. OP, the one thing that I would like you to think about is your over-reacting can be more damaging to your lil boy then almost anything else.
Stay calm, the more calm you are the more he will open up to you and communicate. It is the shocked reaction that can turn innocent curiousity into what you fear. It can also keep your child from disclosing to you if someone has inappropriately touched him. He has learned this somewhere, your job is to find out how he did....and protect him.
So, get him to a therapist, don't treat him like a sex pervert.....treat him like a curious lil boy, who has crossed the boundaries and needs to be redirected. Until and if you find out he is actually modeling something that happened to him and he needs appropriate counseling and possibly more intervention.
Sit down and assess what he possibly has seen or has access to on TV, or in school regarding having observed these actions and is simply repeating them. There are so many programs on television that advertise or show scenes that could be similar that a naturally curious lil kid might act out. I've read that many schools start sex educational type curriculum even in kindergarten these days....another subject for another thread.
Go get a few of the many books available for his age group and talk to him about his body, and boundaries as others have suggested. Involve your three year old so that they both hear you say that no one is allowed to ask to you show them your body, or touch your body in certain areas unless it is mom and dad or allowed by mom and dad at the doctors etc.
^^^^
The reality of the matter is that children are sexual beings, just as adults are. By a certain age, they become self-aware; of their bodies and it's feelings. To some extent sexual behavior is normal: A child touching him/herself, for example.
What alerted me about the OP's narrative is that her son is consistently touching her butt, (same body part) and that his behavior has escalated to doing so with his bare penis.
I would consult my pediatrician in order to find a child psychologist in order to have the child evaluated. A trained child therapist knows what questions to ask, and HOW to ask them....
In terms of Mom talking to her son, I would calmly tell him that what he is doing is not a nice kind of touch, and off-set it by a good touch, making sure he is aware of the difference. Age appropriate language and a calm tone are key. Let the therapist do the rest, and see what an evaluation/assessment yield before panicking.....
May be watching neighbor or relative who is inappropriate, just witnessing it outside too...Do you have teenagers nearby your yard? Sometimes the daycares do hire teenagers too or have the off cleaning crew/maintenance guy around at odd times...Babysitter may be talking smut on phone babysitting or inviting the male over to your place. Might leave the laptop or hidden camera running if you have visitors or babysitter around to see what is wrong here.
Otherwise, kids can seem possessed and really is no accepted answer except some kids just say/do the wrong things without any recognizable cause. Is not the kid's fault and is not demonic anything, just called 'thought insertion' and you don't want to know why this happens, it just happens and parents have no clue why. Your kid is probably perfectly fine mentally too even if saying some embarrassing things...Is no such thing as mental illness anyway, just important information withheld from customers to sell mental care & meds. I would NEVER want to expose a child to mental care anyway so will probably resolve on own with some coaching ...
Sounds like it is time for the talk about appropriate and inappropriate behaviors. Hit the coaching thing hard about 'friends won't like that kind of stuff' to make him a bit more self conscious of his behaviors and see things how an older person would see the situation as 'reasonable person'.
Would also question about where he heard this stuff before you really coach or respond with any anger so you get the answer out of him. TV can run some trashy stuff too...
If you are new to area and there are WAY too many creepy people and females tell you some really threatening stuff about area, some people have been known to move as some areas are just sicko stuff happening and possibly area is hiding wealthy sex abusers. Something is wrong with local wealthy and kids may not be safe, plus higher rates of mental illness result too from staying. Can have some VERY bad sex abuse stuff happening in JR/HIGH school level and bad cops.
Very disturbing to read, I wonder if the OP is in collusion with him.
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