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Oh, I also wish I would have stayed a single Mom......not because I didn’t have a loving new husband. But my kid was 7 when I re-married and I don’t think my husband ever really loved that boy. He was nice to him, but clearly never really enjoyed him the way he did his own daughter and my son could definitely sense it. When my husband died (cancer) my son was in his early 20’s and cried like he lost a parent, but I always felt much of his sorrow was over the loss of a father he never truly connected with — not his fault at all.
I have two, a 36 year old son who is a caring young man who loves family, loves his friends and is considerate of all. The daughter is 34 and doesn't care about anybody, not family, not friends. She isn't hateful, she just doesn't care and yes is non-empathetic.
Ohhh...I took it to mean that your son was similar, not that he didn't understand why his sister was the way she was.
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Originally Posted by Magritte25
Its not a medically necessary procedure for all baby boys.
For any baby boys, actually.
I read somewhere that it was a public health push in the wake of WW1, where soldiers in filthy conditions developed problems because they couldn't practice anything resembling hygienic habits living in a trench.
Its a whole other debate but frankly I think it gets talked about and debated way more than it needs to be. People that place a huge amount of emphasis on it one way or another. Projection of other issues or hangups.
My mom decided that it was a good idea for us, simply because she had worked in hospitals where grown men did need it for medical reasons, and she felt it was extremely unpleasant for them to have it done as grown men.
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Originally Posted by Coldjensens
Depends on the child. With some I regret not teaching them better organizational and planning skills. With others I regret not pushing them more to learn to love some from of exercise or to eat better and be more concerned about proper nutrition, with another I wish I had found a way to instill more self confidence. There are various things with each oft hem I wish I had either realized something and corrected it or focused on something different, or put more focus on some things than on others. With all of them I wish I had taught them better money management skills.
I wonder how much of that is congenital? My dad is extremely organized and tried and tried to teach me. It never took, and I struggled with it from day one and still do.
Oddly enough, I have more knowledge about nutrition, exercise, etc than any of my brothers and probably my parents, and I'm the one with the weight problem (though I think I do exercise more than any of them.) The fact is that with food I'm not unlike someone that has a predisposition to risky drinking behaviors. I know that.
Biggest regret: not being more established before starting a family. All of the stress that comes with trying to save for a home and getting a career established has been so much harder with young kids in the mix. The constant worry and stress was such a distraction and made it tough to enjoy being in the moment.
This is an anonymous forum. Get over yourself. At least she's not in denial as many other people who shouldn't have had kids.
I totally agree. She had kids and regretted it. Maybe she had difficult kids (they aren't all easy) or maybe she wasn't a nurturing type (not everyone loves to cuddle their kids). Maybe she struggled to make ends meet and feels guilty that she raised them in less that perfect circumstances. Who knows...
Because she was being honest with her answer on this forum doesn't mean she's told her kids that she regrets having them. That would be horrible and heartbreaking for kids to hear.
Well I'd love to hear how her kids feel knowing their mom should have owned dogs instead...
They understand as we are not an emotional bunch. Logic driven and rational. This sort of thing is openly discussed.
I understand how emotional types will be horrified and not "get it".
They had all material advantages in abundance and were reared in enriched environments but got no love as I am incapable.
When you realize you are incapable of giving or receiving love, it is logical to conclude one oughtn't to reproduce. I realized this too late.
Interestingly all are successful, productive citizens (age range from 18-35) and were goody two shoes, high achieving type of children (but all are unemotional).
Last edited by VexedAndSolitary; 11-03-2017 at 04:41 PM..
They understand as we are not an emotional bunch. Logic driven and rational. This sort of thing is openly discussed.
I understand how emotional types will be horrified and not "get it".
They had all material advantages in abundance and were reared in enriched environments but got no love as I am incapable.
When you realize you are incapable of giving or receiving love, it is logical to conclude one oughtn't to reproduce. I realized this too late.
Interestingly all are successful, productive citizens (age range from 18-35) and were goody two shoes, high achieving type of children (but all are unemotional).
Do you love the dogs? I'm not judging; I am really just curious if it is a problem feeling love or a problem feeling love for your children in particular.
I don't have regrets but I do sympathize with my daughter that I was not cut out to be a parent. As a result, she is an only child. In my opinion, she was a difficult baby and I am very glad that I stopped with her. I have invested a lot of time learning how to parent, how to deal with others, how to let go of regrets here on City-data and it has benefited her in so many ways I can't explain. I would not have had this same amount of time or opportunity with more children.
She would not be the person she is without the choices I made and the people here who have inspired me. I am glad I figured it out before she grew up too quickly.
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