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Old 11-09-2017, 07:26 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,380,736 times
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Ugh.

My friends threw me a shower for my second child because I didn't have one for my first (long story). They were different genders but it wasn't a gift grab (I got either diapers, a small toy or a cute dress as a gift) but a way for my friends to help me have the experience of a baby shower.

I cant, for even a second, imagine why the sibling would be mentioned. Unless they are having the baby for me?

Honestly, the older sibling needs to get comfortable with attention being on the baby here and there.
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Old 11-09-2017, 07:43 PM
 
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I see nothing etiquette wise to suggest it's anything other then including the siblings. They DO have a role in the family.

To offer to bring is kind...

We have little goodie bags ..Filled with stickers or mad libs ... Just in case..Nothing fancy..Just something to include the young ones.
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Old 11-09-2017, 07:57 PM
 
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I'm curious to know the exact wording too.

I had an aunt who, when I was a child, sent a gift to the birthday kid but included in the gift package was a small item for each sibling. Then when I grew up and had kids she continued that tradition. I can't tell you what a difference that made in our lives. They were always small, tacky gifts that we'd giggle over but the sentiment was so wonderful. And when it came to opening her box, all the kids would gather around expectantly.

So I often do that too. If I go visit a new baby, I take a gift for the baby and also a small token for the older sibling. A match box car, a package of playdoh, etc.

I don't really think of something as a "gift grab" that someone else is hosting for a person. A "gift grab" in my opinion is only when the recipients themselves are sending out invitations - like for a wedding or graduation.
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Old 11-09-2017, 08:23 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
12,305 posts, read 9,919,021 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CAjerseychick View Post
I tried researching this but could not find an answer-is this a thing now? that in addition to the baby gift there is an expectation of one for the sibling ( the baby is some years apart from the first, so the sibling will be in attendance), it was mentioned on the invite...
The invitation says to bring a gift for their toddler who will be at the shower? Good grief! Talk about gift grabs!!! I'd skip that shower. That's absolutely ridiculous.
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Old 11-09-2017, 08:24 PM
 
Location: Left coast
2,321 posts, read 1,029,076 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
How exactly was it worded?
that small gifts and cards would also be welcomed for the sib, at the family home.
(the shower is being held elsewhere)
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Old 11-09-2017, 08:28 PM
 
Location: Left coast
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I like these guys, its just a sign of the times I guess.

The invite also words it as a gathering to help " sib's name here" welcoming the new baby, which I thought a little odd.

There will be an assortment of other kids there I think, as there is a age gap between the new baby and sib, so sibs friends and family and friends kids there too.
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Old 11-09-2017, 09:02 PM
 
6,143 posts, read 2,389,542 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CAjerseychick View Post
that small gifts and cards would also be welcomed for the sib, at the family home.
(the shower is being held elsewhere)

I think that's really cute. It seems to mean if you go to visit the baby, bring along a little thing for the older kid.

Seems thoughtful.
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Old 11-09-2017, 09:22 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
38,140 posts, read 36,926,545 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CAjerseychick View Post
I like these guys, its just a sign of the times I guess.

The invite also words it as a gathering to help " sib's name here" welcoming the new baby, which I thought a little odd.

There will be an assortment of other kids there I think, as there is a age gap between the new baby and sib, so sibs friends and family and friends kids there too.
So it really sounds like it's not a typical baby shower, but more of a party for the new baby that manages to put the other sibling right "up there" in the limelight.

They must be pretty concerned about the older child adjusting to the attention that the new baby is going to get.

IDK it's part of it. My older kids were 7 years older than my "baby," and they LOVED being big brothers and lavished more attention on him than almost anyone else.
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Old 11-09-2017, 09:23 PM
 
Location: Myrtle Beach
1,469 posts, read 1,056,156 times
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I think a second baby shower is too much. I can understand the first one, but I don't know of any baby that actually wears out their clothes so that it can't be passed down to a sibling. (baby boys can wear pink and baby girls can wear blue without damaging their psyche). Asking for a sibling gift is way over the top in my opinion.
For most of my friends and family, we had baby boxes that we passed around when someone had their second or third kid. When someone was having another kid, we would just pack up outgrown baby clothes and send them. I have a number of pictures of my nieces and nephews in the same outfit that had been passed around.
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Old 11-09-2017, 10:08 PM
 
Location: Left coast
2,321 posts, read 1,029,076 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
I think that's really cute. It seems to mean if you go to visit the baby, bring along a little thing for the older kid.

Seems thoughtful.

Ummm no, it specifically said gifts "sent " to the home would be welcomed for the older sib.

But yes I definitely think there are concerns about sibling rivalry, etc...
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