U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-09-2017, 10:22 PM
 
12,759 posts, read 19,212,238 times
Reputation: 32982

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by CAjerseychick View Post
that small gifts and cards would also be welcomed for the sib, at the family home.
(the shower is being held elsewhere)
No mistaking that message, is there! Wow. Not that there's a gracious way to ask for gifts, but it's really over the top. I'd ignore it, personally.

But I wouldn't blame the impending parents for it, presumably they aren't throwing themselves a shower,are they?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-09-2017, 11:11 PM
 
Location: Texas
4,658 posts, read 1,639,798 times
Reputation: 9838
Expecting someone to bring a sibling gift to a shower is being greedy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2017, 06:19 AM
Status: "Libertarian socialist" (set 22 days ago)
 
27,863 posts, read 18,985,471 times
Reputation: 16363
Quote:
Originally Posted by CAjerseychick View Post
I tried researching this but could not find an answer-is this a thing now? that in addition to the baby gift there is an expectation of one for the sibling ( the baby is some years apart from the first, so the sibling will be in attendance), it was mentioned on the invite...
It might be a "thing" but I don't participate in it. Just like I don't participate in sibling gifts at birthday parties. Not everything is about you. Its a good lesson to learn as a child.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2017, 06:22 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
36,798 posts, read 35,562,084 times
Reputation: 69054
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
It might be a "thing" but I don't participate in it. Just like I don't participate in sibling gifts at birthday parties. Not everything is about you. Its a good lesson to learn as a child.
Yes it is.

One of the funniest photos in my parents' collection is a picture of my mom on her birthday, sitting at a table with a cake and two wrapped gifts. I'm standing next to her, about 5 years old, with my elbows on the table and my chin on my arms, with the worst pouty look on my face because the presents were not for me LOL.

My poor mom literally never asked for anything, and I was PO'd about her getting two gifts while I got none.

My dad made sure that was the last time I did that, though!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2017, 06:22 AM
Status: "Libertarian socialist" (set 22 days ago)
 
27,863 posts, read 18,985,471 times
Reputation: 16363
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
I think that's really cute. It seems to mean if you go to visit the baby, bring along a little thing for the older kid.

Seems thoughtful.
Sorry, no. If my visiting you and your family to welcome your new baby isn't enough, then I don't have to visit. WAY too much focus on material goods any more.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2017, 07:50 AM
 
3,478 posts, read 2,075,919 times
Reputation: 2594
You lost me at "second shower".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2017, 08:12 AM
 
10,027 posts, read 6,136,063 times
Reputation: 23444
Quote:
Originally Posted by CAjerseychick View Post
I like these guys, its just a sign of the times I guess.

The invite also words it as a gathering to help " sib's name here" welcoming the new baby, which I thought a little odd.

There will be an assortment of other kids there I think, as there is a age gap between the new baby and sib, so sibs friends and family and friends kids there too.
Worded like that, it sounds like they were responding to people's requests to give the older sibling a gift. Maybe they are really worried about their older child....maybe there are already troubles and they are trying to get the older sibling on board. For sure their life will change big time.

We heavily included my step kids in our wedding...so it doesn't seem to odd to do that if the child is older to me. It can be a big transition and its their family too.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2017, 08:52 AM
 
3,115 posts, read 1,033,790 times
Reputation: 7265
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
It might be a "thing" but I don't participate in it. Just like I don't participate in sibling gifts at birthday parties. Not everything is about you. Its a good lesson to learn as a child.

I agree with this.


I always thought that a shower (any kind of shower) was to help a couple (or person) prepare for their future endeavor. Thus, a wedding shower is to help the couple set up house, and a baby shower is to help the mother and or father set up for baby, etc.


I also always thought it's OK to hope for a shower, but never ASK for a shower. Gifts should be given willingly...not because it's an obligation.


And thirdly, children DO need to learn that sometimes people have to take turns, and sometimes...it's not their turn.


I was the oldest of 5 kids, that lesson was brought home many times. lol


I remember, one time, when I was in first grade, I came home from school, and my mom called me into her sewing room. She tells me that while I was at school, an opportunity for her and my siblings came up, to go to the beach (we lived in Florida) for a few hours. She said she was telling me this because she didn't want me to get upset that I didn't get to go, AND she wanted me to understand that sometimes, there would be opportunities that only I would be able to participate in, and other times, opportunities I would NOT be able to participate in, but to never fear, there WOULD be fun opportunities for me in the future. I totally accepted that. I had no hard feelings about missing a day at the beach.


The way my mom phrased it...I was happy for everyone that DID get to go. I really didn't mind at all. LOL
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2017, 10:12 AM
 
583 posts, read 227,076 times
Reputation: 2387
Honestly, I don't know what it is that's made people so damn entitled and gift grabby these days, but it's absolutely disgusting. To actually request gifts for a sibling is so far beyond the pale, I don't even know what to say. If I received an invitation like that, it would go straight into the trash can.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2017, 10:17 AM
 
3,115 posts, read 1,033,790 times
Reputation: 7265
Quote:
Originally Posted by SparklesNShine View Post
Honestly, I don't know what it is that's made people so damn entitled and gift grabby these days, but it's absolutely disgusting. To actually request gifts for a sibling is so far beyond the pale, I don't even know what to say. If I received an invitation like that, it would go straight into the trash can.

Yeah...it's like you're supposed to pay feasance to the king and queen.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2017, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 - Top