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Old 11-10-2017, 10:19 AM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
10,638 posts, read 3,284,798 times
Reputation: 12741

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Quote:
Originally Posted by CAjerseychick View Post
Ok thanks all, there is an age gap (so the second shower does seem useful)
the gift request for the sib was phrased that that they should be sent to their home (not a the shower itself), huh I just reread this.
I thinks it’s quite rude to ask for gifts for a sibling! I’m not even on board with having a 2nd shower even if there is a gap between the two. Didn’t she save her stuff from the first baby? There can’t be too much of an age gap if they are requesting gifts for the first kid so it doesn’t feel left out! Wow!
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Old 11-10-2017, 10:24 AM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
12,305 posts, read 10,011,976 times
Reputation: 20459
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
It might be a "thing" but I don't participate in it. Just like I don't participate in sibling gifts at birthday parties. Not everything is about you. Its a good lesson to learn as a child.
Don't parents teach their children anymore? Growing up, we weren't to expect anything when it wasn't our birthday. If it was my sister's birthday, then the day and party were about her. As the oldest, when I had a sibling born, I had to learn to adapt. That's how life works...we're always adapting.
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Old 11-10-2017, 01:32 PM
 
Location: Texas
6,309 posts, read 2,290,374 times
Reputation: 13488
I was shamed about not bringing a sibling gift to a another child's birthday one time. Sorry if that's the new etiquette these days, but I'm not going to participate.
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Old 11-10-2017, 02:03 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
12,305 posts, read 10,011,976 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
I was shamed about not bringing a sibling gift to a another child's birthday one time. Sorry if that's the new etiquette these days, but I'm not going to participate.
You were shamed? Get out! That's beyond ABSURB! I would have taken my gift and left. I wouldn't bother with those folks again....don't care if they're family....they're certainly not friends.

You want a gift for your kid? Buy one! And I say this as someone who doesn't have children and my SIL has 4 children and demands individual gifts for everyone at Christmas. I don't play that game. I started doing a family gift when she hit 3 kids and she got pissy. We no longer exchange gifts. Gift grabbing has gotten so out of control.
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Old 11-10-2017, 02:08 PM
 
10,945 posts, read 6,525,415 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CGab View Post
I thinks itís quite rude to ask for gifts for a sibling! Iím not even on board with having a 2nd shower even if there is a gap between the two. Didnít she save her stuff from the first baby? There canít be too much of an age gap if they are requesting gifts for the first kid so it doesnít feel left out! Wow!
I was wondering that too. I couldn't imagine bringing a sibling gift for a 10 year old, that seems more like something you would do for a 3 year old. But then I wouldnt consider 3-5 years to be a big enough gap to require a second shower.
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Old 11-10-2017, 02:35 PM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
5,814 posts, read 7,044,969 times
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Based on the following points from the OP:

-Large age gap (older child is NOT a toddler).
-Shower will not be held at the home.
-Other children will be present at the shower.


Seems a bit tacky to me to request a gift for the older child and that it be sent to the home. The older child may or may not be experiencing some sibling rivalry, but this is not going to help the situation in the long run.

The second shower is not quite as tacky to me given the age gap (more than 5 or 6 years I hope.) My own mother had a second shower thrown by some friends. None of the older siblings were invited. There was a large age gap between child #5 and children #1-4. I was the oldest and 14/15 yo when child #5 was born. Child #4 was almost seven. The baby things were long gone as were baby things from relatives and other friends. It was a nice gesture, and I do recall my mother protesting as she thought it wasn't right either. She was convinced to allow it though as people were very excited. They were even more excited after #5 was a boy with 4 older sisters. He was given many more gifts after his birth and not one of us had a problem with it.
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Old 11-10-2017, 02:42 PM
 
4,782 posts, read 2,116,704 times
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Ohh it's just a terrible idea to include siblings! They need to learn they are to not even be seen,heard ,or acknowledged. Yes that will surely help in being considered a part of a family. ( Gratuitous sarcasm complete).
Please do humanity a favor...And be considerate. This 'id not show up or take the gift back' is a poor reflection of adult role model behavior.
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Old 11-10-2017, 02:59 PM
 
4,256 posts, read 1,448,026 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3 View Post
Ohh it's just a terrible idea to include siblings! They need to learn they are to not even be seen,heard ,or acknowledged. Yes that will surely help in being considered a part of a family. ( Gratuitous sarcasm complete).
Please do humanity a favor...And be considerate. This 'id not show up or take the gift back' is a poor reflection of adult role model behavior.
I think it's a nice thought, to think of the sibling.


I think it's rude to demand a gift for the sibling.
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Old 11-10-2017, 03:19 PM
 
962 posts, read 525,866 times
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Oh boy, has this sibling hit kindergarten yet? They are going to get a fast lesson in sharing and taking turns. It is NOT always about me me me!

I have never heard of sending gifts to a sibling at the home when a shower is held elsewhere. I would totally ignore that. I wonder if the parents knew that was on the invitation as I suspect most people would have been mortified unless they are truly crass themselves.

If their older child is having an issue with no longer being the center of attention, they need to handle that privately within the family and not expect others to buy off their kid with gifts.

That said, I have brought a little book or fancy hair bow to a young sibling when I brought over a baby gift which was fun to do. But my friends never had second showers as they thought that was greedy as well as tacky. I can maybe understand a family get-together for that purpose but leave other people out of it.
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Old 11-10-2017, 06:50 PM
 
15,819 posts, read 18,375,717 times
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I've heard of this, but it was voluntary, not requested. Grandma or Auntie would make sure the little one had something to open, but usually this was after the newborn was brought home.
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