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Old 11-10-2017, 07:00 PM
 
10,396 posts, read 7,478,326 times
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Once I invited my son's young friend to a movie with us and his mother insisted her younger son be invited, too, or my son's friend couldn't go. Sheesh.

Also, there's a culture (Hawaii) in which a child's first birthday be A HUGE celebration. I was invited to one at a convention hall they rented and there (as at most b'day parties there) a donation box is prominent for cash gifts. I guess it's expected and they rake it in.
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Old 11-10-2017, 07:56 PM
Status: "Free at last!" (set 15 hours ago)
 
Location: Somwhere
3,127 posts, read 1,219,723 times
Reputation: 8057
A shower would be the perfect time for an older sibling to learn that not everything is about them. Will they expect gifts on their sibling's birthdays, too? (I actually know someone who went through that; her fussy sister always got a gift on her birthday.)
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Old 11-10-2017, 08:49 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
1,652 posts, read 598,403 times
Reputation: 2953
AThat's just weird. Will she expect when she throws birthday parties for one kid you have to bring gifts for all her kids. Don't want anyone to be left out and feel bad because it's not their birthday. Oh, and also be sure to get a gift for both parents because it's their kids birthday. Have to thank them for bringing into the world the most wonderful kids in the whole wide world....

.. Sorry couldn't help myself with the sarcasim.
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Old 11-11-2017, 01:22 AM
 
Location: Back in the Mitten. Formerly NC
3,819 posts, read 4,873,134 times
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Except in special circumstances, I'm pretty anti-second shower.

For example- my cousin had a second shower. Her oldest was 11 and she was told she was unable to have more. It was a complete surprise and miracle she had a second baby. She obviously did not hold on to baby stuff since she had no hope of another. I'm not sure if anyone brought the 11 year old a gift. I highly doubt it.

I gave my sister a close-family-only shower for her second baby. It really started because family was asking what she needed. Gifts were small- clothes, diapers, wipes. It was really like a birthday party before the baby, lol. Outside of my mom, sister, and I, only my aunt, two cousins, and sister's best friend attended. The exact same people who attend my oldest niece's birthday parties. We did invite a second aunt and her children, but she was diagnosed with cancer a few days prior, so they understandably skipped it. I hosted it and I did have a couple of gifts for my oldest niece- a new big sister shirt and a big sister Christmas ornament with her name on it. My mom also bought her something. No one else did. Well, technically, ALL the kids had a couple of cheap toys as party favors. My sister bought gifts for my niece and gave them to her the day the baby was born. I also brought my niece some coloring books and crayons up to the hospital. Of course, this is my niece and we are very close. She has her own bedroom at my house and an entire toy box full of toys. Plus other stuff.

Unless I was super close to the person (related or lifelong close friends), I would be skipping the event.
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Old 11-11-2017, 05:46 AM
 
27,993 posts, read 19,652,644 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3 View Post
Ohh it's just a terrible idea to include siblings! They need to learn they are to not even be seen,heard ,or acknowledged. Yes that will surely help in being considered a part of a family. ( Gratuitous sarcasm complete).
Please do humanity a favor...And be considerate. This 'id not show up or take the gift back' is a poor reflection of adult role model behavior.
No, poor role model behavior is expecting gifts for all your children just because. Poor role model behavior is not teaching your children that everything isn't about them. Poor role model behavior is instilling materialistic entitlement in your children.
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Old 11-11-2017, 05:49 AM
 
27,993 posts, read 19,652,644 times
Reputation: 16471
Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterseat View Post
Once I invited my son's young friend to a movie with us and his mother insisted her younger son be invited, too, or my son's friend couldn't go. Sheesh.

Also, there's a culture (Hawaii) in which a child's first birthday be A HUGE celebration. I was invited to one at a convention hall they rented and there (as at most b'day parties there) a donation box is prominent for cash gifts. I guess it's expected and they rake it in.
What did you end up doing? That would make me angry.
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Old 11-11-2017, 06:09 AM
 
Location: Kansas
19,189 posts, read 14,068,763 times
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I think the older child needs to get used to sharing. If this were continue, no day would ever be special for either child. This seems to fall into "everyone gets a ribbon". Every child deserves their own special days.

I have 2 grandchildren. I am dealing with a different culture also. I sent a birthday gift to my grandson (from my DIL's previous relationship) and the DIL told me how jealous my granddaughter was of the gift sent. I had wondered if this was a hint that even though it was not her birthday that she should have gotten something also.

I just wouldn't start this. The whole send it separately to the house? The parents need to make their son seem special also, but that should not take away from the tradition of the baby shower being for the mother and baby.

Any guests that just show up with a baby gift who haven't seen the family in awhile, well, that would make sense that they might bring something and PRESENT it to the other child.

Boy, this gift thing anymore? You don't ASK for a gift, a gift is given.
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Old 11-11-2017, 08:15 AM
 
1,346 posts, read 1,004,224 times
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I wouldn’t make a big deal of it but I wouldn’t take a sibling gift either. I think it’s ridiculous.
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Old 11-11-2017, 09:03 AM
 
88 posts, read 41,901 times
Reputation: 306
Not only asking for a gift for a sibling rude, but also wants it to be dropped off at house or pay more money and ship? That is way over the top to be asking! Invitation trash as far as I'm concerned.
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Old 11-11-2017, 03:13 PM
 
4,112 posts, read 3,450,347 times
Reputation: 8192
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaynarie View Post
Except in special circumstances, I'm pretty anti-second shower.

For example- my cousin had a second shower. Her oldest was 11 and she was told she was unable to have more. It was a complete surprise and miracle she had a second baby. She obviously did not hold on to baby stuff since she had no hope of another. I'm not sure if anyone brought the 11 year old a gift. I highly doubt it.

I gave my sister a close-family-only shower for her second baby. It really started because family was asking what she needed. Gifts were small- clothes, diapers, wipes. It was really like a birthday party before the baby, lol. Outside of my mom, sister, and I, only my aunt, two cousins, and sister's best friend attended. The exact same people who attend my oldest niece's birthday parties. We did invite a second aunt and her children, but she was diagnosed with cancer a few days prior, so they understandably skipped it. I hosted it and I did have a couple of gifts for my oldest niece- a new big sister shirt and a big sister Christmas ornament with her name on it. My mom also bought her something. No one else did. Well, technically, ALL the kids had a couple of cheap toys as party favors. My sister bought gifts for my niece and gave them to her the day the baby was born. I also brought my niece some coloring books and crayons up to the hospital. Of course, this is my niece and we are very close. She has her own bedroom at my house and an entire toy box full of toys. Plus other stuff.

Unless I was super close to the person (related or lifelong close friends), I would be skipping the event.
This is class. Thank you for posting.
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