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I think this is not "good" behavior, but not "abnormal" behavior. Its part of growing up and learning about relationships. Many, if not most, of us have been in unhealthy relationships before. Plenty of us have to learn by experience what isn't ok behavior.
Cindysmum, I think it would be a good idea to stop peeping on Cindy's phone. A better idea IMO would to keep an open line of communication rather controlling her relationship. In a way you're doing the same thing you're reproving in her bf.
Thank you for the responses. I agree that the phone is fueling the emotions. I am not going to take it away completely as she drives to school and I do not want her to not have a way to communicate with me. .
And for how many decades did kids drive cars with no cell phones? In most cases, driving to school means she is routinely in traffic with neighbors, fellow students, teachers so in the event of a roadside emergency she literally could wave someone down she knows.
Sorry, but those are terrible suggestions. It's not the phone. And parents should not be meeting to discuss their children's relationship. They're 16, not 6! Parents need to help their daughter and her bf's parents can deal with him. Sounds like they are about to break up so let it happen. There's no chance she's pregnant, right?
They are still CHILDREN who clearly haven't a clue about how self-confident, secure adults behave in relationships. Telling someone they cannot have friends of the opposite sex or interact with people of the opposite sex who are unknown to the person who is having the problem with that happening is State's Exhibit A of a possibly abusive personality. It is certainly indicative of a person who is not emotionally or mentally ready to be in a relationship.
And the last thing we should be enabling is another generation of young women who don't know how or when to put their foot down and say enough is enough. Or young men either, since it seems to be coming from both sides in this case.
Just because you are "in a relationship" with another person doesn't make either person the personal property of the other. And there are far too few people out there who understand that concept. If a man ever started acting this way towards me:
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checking inevery where they go, etc. I confronted my daughter one evening when I saw that he told her not to talk to one of her male friends at church.
he'd be out on his ass, pronto, because I don't put up with that excrement.
What else does she have going on in her life? Friends? Sports? School activities? Church activities?
Hopefully, she is engaged with other things besides this guy. It sounds like he is her total world and she is afraid that if their relationship falls apart she won't have anything else left.
My daughter has been dating her boyfriend (also 16) for 8 months. He seems like a nice kid but I occasionally check their texts to make sure - I have told her that I do this occasionally to make sure she is safe. Things were great in the beginning but the last few months they have seemed to have taken a turn. I noticed both of them being obsessive with each other - not wanting the other to talk to the opposite sex, checking in every where they go, etc. I confronted my daughter one evening when I saw that he told her not to talk to one of her male friends at church. She got teary eyed but agreed with what I was saying. She said they had been fighting a lot and wanted it to stop. She talked to him and things are definitely better from his standpoint.
But, now I am extremely concerned about my daughter's behavior. She is continuing to start arguments with him over who he is talking to or following on social media. She is making him miserable every time he goes out with his friends by texting him non-stop about where he is and who he is with and why he would rather be with them than her. I feel bad for him - and my daughter, who is obviously obsessed. I asked her today at lunch how things were going since we last talked and she said great but when I looked at her texts a little bit ago, I saw this horrible exchange that went on all night last night when he was at his friend's house. He was a perfect gentleman but I can tell he is about at the end of his rope.
I am not sure what I should do to help my daughter. She obviously doesn't want to tell me the truth about how she is feeling. Is this normal teenage behavior? Thanks in advance for any advice.
I think the guy needs to actually say why he does not want his girlfriend with him when he hangs out with his friends.
It is OK to have an opinion, but not OK to not express it.
Provided no threats were made, I would just let the relationship run its course.
With age context, she seems pretty normal. If she does this 25+, she's going to have problems.
With that said, you have to be careful when throwing the word "obsessive" around when you constantly check her phone too.
When looking at both your tendencies, it is not surprising that she does this.
I think you and her father need to have a sit down talk just the three of you and you need to make sure she is not the one who is obsessed with the bf . I think she also needs to go to therapy and find out why she is doing this .
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