Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
because at 16 the child can legally just leave. if you try too hard to enforce rules like that, it can leave home or run away and just drink way too much on its own.
he drink bud lidght everyday and get drunk with friends
how is the child funding this? beer costs money so where is he getting the money?
You need to sit down and talk with your child. not yell not lecture, but talk. At 16 your relationship might have fallen into ruts or habits that are hard to break, you need to find out what is going on , why your child is drinking so often and so much.
It is very normal for a kid to try drink, soft drugs , sex and breaking some minor laws. But it is your job to prevent this getting out of hand and to keep your kids on the right track.
how is homelife, how is school, who are his or her friends, what is dad doing, are you putting them first or yourself. what family time is there? parenting can be hard work sometimes we get tired and let things go, sometimes our kids are just buttheads and no amount of effort or trying will stop them destroying their lives.
but your job is to put your ego aside, and be the mom/dad.
1. keep it out of your house
2. don't give him money
3. keep him busy in supervised positive activities
4. help him find positive role models and friends
5. get him medical/psychological help if needed
6. no he cannot just leave if he is 16.
7. be a parent.
Having a loving, stable home with supervision and being involved in activities instead of hanging out with losers in the park would have kept me from drinking at 16.
Meh, I don't buy this 100%. People always like to blame the parents, but I'm a perfect example of "teens will do what they want regardless!" I had two loving, supportive, financially stable parents - with a SAH mom (for most of our childhoods), TONS of activities, etc, etc. And guess what? I still found the "bad kids" in town, made friends with them, and was drinking/doing hard drugs by age 16. So while I'm not saying "don't bother trying," sometimes there really isn't anything you can do to stop this.
That being said, the fact that I did have all of the above is why I survived okay in the end. Because of my supportive parents/family and opportunities, I was able to move forward once my oats were sowed... went to college, graduate school, and am now a productive 41 year-old professional woman. My friends who didn't come from good homes mostly had different endings to their stories, from prison time to teen parenthood, and so forth. I'm not a parent myself, so will refrain from offering further advice, but just wanted to add this bit to the discussion (from the perspective of a former "bad teen").
OP, do you have a parent, relative, friend, minister, etc. who could act as a good and safe mentor for your children? From your posting history, it appears you are not adequately equipped for these issues.
He didn't become this way the day he turned 16. Much of it was how he was raised over the years. Don't turn your back on him. He needs help before he ends up in real trouble.
There it is!! It's how THE CHILD IS RAISED!
Educate your children from the time they are very young and they won't grow up acting like an idiot! And I'm pretty sure that at 16 it's illegal to drink alcohol in all the states!
You can't. The more you try to control the more they will do behind your back.
Drinking at 16 is pretty normal, when I was 16 we all drank despite it being illegal, being illegal just made it more interesting.
Where I live now you can buy beer and wine at 16, alcohol at 18 which seems about right.
How to handle alcohol is probably best learned at home.
It might be hard to go back and do this right again but one way is not make them quit drinking. I was raised to drink alcohol with family as a child for special occasions. It taught me how liquor feels in the body and we only had it about 4 times a year. At 8 yo I had about 1/4 oz. By the age of 12, 1 small glass of wine 4 times a year.
At 15 I started drinking beer with friends. It was not a big deal because I was not inclined toward alcoholism.
I think the thing to do is figure out if the drinking is light or dangerously heavy? If truly light 1-2 beers a few times a week and they are still in school, working active then ok. If not productive in life and drinking till they pass out-get help.
I have to say it sounds like you are tired from your post. Is there a dad in the picture? Get him to do his half. If no dad get your son to a Boys club or some after school thing. Like cheezball said.
The key here is supervision. You can't stop what you can't see.
If you can't watch him all the time, you need to arrange that someone does. At 16, this means that after school until you get home, he should be at school participating in something or at work, working.
If he doesn't show up for these things, you'll have to do something like keep him home on the weekend. That will be rough. If he won't stay home with you, he's a runaway. Then you can call the police or social services for help.
Maybe talk to social services anyway. They're a clumsy bureaucracy, but every so often there's someone who knows how to make a difference.
1. keep it out of your house
2. don't give him money
3. keep him busy in supervised positive activities
4. help him find positive role models and friends
5. get him medical/psychological help if needed
6. no he cannot just leave if he is 16.
7. be a parent.
Keeping alcohol out of the house doesn't stop kids from drinking. The majority of them drink when they're with their friends. locking them up doesn't work either. They will sneak out. At 16, what supervised activities are you going to have outside of school hours? In many states 16 year olds can actually move out. They can do a lot more than most people realize.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The majority of them drink when they're with their friends. locking them up doesn't work either. They will sneak out. At 16, what supervised activities are you going to have outside of school hours? In many states 16 year olds can actually move out. They can do a lot more than most people realize.
