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I am a SAHM. I've had a few people ask me if they can drop their child off at my home while they work during the day. For free childcare. They seem surprised when I say no. They say that since I stay home all day, they thought it would be no problem for me to take their child. I have to explain that with 3 young kids, it's hard for me to babysit. And I don't stay home all day. I run errands, take kids to doctor/dentist/orthodontist/dance class, etc. I'm pretty busy.
I have a list of drop-in day care centers in our area, which I use myself whenever I get into a bind. I give them this info but they seem bummed about having to pay for daycare.
So I'm curious why people assume that SAHMs will provide free childcare? I know a "few" who babysit for extra money, but don't know any who babysit for free. Also, I stopped babysitting when I was in college.
Moderator cut: orphaned quote
You know several moms who are asked to provide "free childcare " while they go to work? I just find that odd. Are you talking about on a regular basis or as an occasional favor when a friend is in a bind? My friends and I provided help to one another at various times and in various ways (exchanging babysitting on a date night for instance). I could possibly see being asked a favor in a bind. Your post makes it sound as if they expect you to provide regular daycare for free. That does seem usual and I go back to get better friends if that is the case..
Last edited by Miss Blue; 11-29-2017 at 03:13 PM..
. Are you talking about on a regular basis or as an occasional favor when a friend is in a bind? ..
I usually won't talk to them long enough to find out.....
Assuming a SAHM will do any babysitting at all is somewhat presumptuous. Even if it's a "in a bind" situation. There are drop-in daycares and people who babysit for a living they could contact.
I've had a friend ask me to babysit a friend's child for one to two weeks, I thought that was not only rude but weird, why would she want a stranger watching her child during the day? Woman doesn't even know me. I'd much rather take my child to a licensed daycare facility than a total stranger's house. There was also no offer to pay so I guess the bind she was in, was a financial one. oh well, tough.
I usually won't talk to them long enough to find out.....
Assuming a SAHM will do any babysitting at all is somewhat presumptuous. Even if it's a "in a bind" situation. There are drop-in daycares and people who babysit for a living they could contact.
I've had a friend ask me to babysit a friend's child for one to two weeks, I thought that was not only rude but weird, why would she want a stranger watching her child during the day? Woman doesn't even know me. I'd much rather take my child to a licensed daycare facility than a total stranger's house. There was also no offer to pay so I guess the bind she was in, was a financial one. oh well, tough.
"Assuming" yes; asking a friend for help in exchange for pay or an equivalent favor, no.
The example you give falls into the "find better friends" category. Your issue is the people you surround yourself with, not working moms v SAHM.
"Assuming" yes; asking a friend for help in exchange for pay or an equivalent favor, no.
The example you give falls into the "find better friends" category. Your issue is the people you surround yourself with, not working moms v SAHM.
Most people I know don't make such requests, so the problem is not the friends that I surround myself with, as you incorrectly stated. I even stated in the OP that it was a "few people" so go back and read.
And the woman who wanted me to provide her with free childcare, was someone I didn't know. Someone else was asking me on her behalf.
People have misconceptions about SAHMS in society. Having those misconceptions doesn't make them a bad person, it just means they haven't learned better. It also doesn't necessarily mean they would be bad friends. I wouldn't even end a friendship with someone who had those misconceptions, I would just try to educate them.
So NO, the issue is not me and the people I surround myself with. Nice try, though, Maciesmom.
I am a SAHM. I've had a few people ask me if they can drop their child off at my home while they work during the day. For free childcare. They seem surprised when I say no. They say that since I stay home all day, they thought it would be no problem for me to take their child. I have to explain that with 3 young kids, it's hard for me to babysit. And I don't stay home all day. I run errands, take kids to doctor/dentist/orthodontist/dance class, etc. I'm pretty busy.
I have a list of drop-in day care centers in our area, which I use myself whenever I get into a bind. I give them this info but they seem bummed about having to pay for daycare.
So I'm curious why people assume that SAHMs will provide free childcare? I know a "few" who babysit for extra money, but don't know any who babysit for free. Also, I stopped babysitting when I was in college.
Yes, I had this happen several times as a young sahm and it always shocked me and the only time I relented was when a neighbour couldn't find a babysitter and it was an emergency and for one day. She tried to get me to babysit for a week and I said I could only do it for one week but I would be charging babysitting fees. She didn't take me up on it. By the way these were not friends of mine but neighbours, or friends of neighbours.
Their logic was pretty much the same as the one you get, so I hear you and understand. I think you handle it very well by the way.
Yes, I had this happen several times as a young sahm and it always shocked me and the only time I relented was when a neighbour couldn't find a babysitter and it was an emergency and for one day. She tried to get me to babysit for a week and I said I could only do it for one week but I would be charging babysitting fees. She didn't take me up on it. By the way these were not friends of mine but neighbours, or friends of neighbours.
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It sounds like she didn't intend to pay you at all, and hoped to get free babysitting service. No wonder she declined the offer.
Although it might be hard for some people to believe, this goes on and not necessarily with "friends".
Another situation I have dealt with recently: Just a couple of weeks ago, the grandmother (who I've never met before, so not a 'friend') of my daughter's school friends brought her two granddaughters over after school. I'd never met this woman, although my daughter knows the two girls. I was shocked to see them on my doorstep. I asked her what she wanted, and she said the girls just wanted to come over and play, so she was dropping them off. I felt embarrassed for her, but I told her no, that my daughter had a play date at the house already, plus I have young twin toddlers in the house. And that six kids would be too much for me. I just find it bizarre she'd drop her two grandkids off at my house without knowing who I am or anything about me. But she apparently knows I'm a SAHM who is home after school. This information is often spread around the neighborhood or people find out that there's a mom staying home during the day. So they try to take advantage.
Perhaps it falls under "Never hurts to ask." I would just always convey the message "I'm too busy with my own kids and household to take on babysitting." and offer them a list. It does seem as though maybe this is part of the complex that some SAHMS have when they think that others think they have a lot of free time on their hands when they don't hold down a job outside the home.
I never asked anyone to watch my children, and no one asked me to watch theirs.
Could a friend, relative or neighbor be suggesting others ask you thus bringing in such requests? People that could say that you were great with kids and could be trusted?
I am a SAHM. I've had a few people ask me if they can drop their child off at my home while they work during the day. For free childcare. They seem surprised when I say no. They say that since I stay home all day, they thought it would be no problem for me to take their child. I have to explain that with 3 young kids, it's hard for me to babysit. And I don't stay home all day. I run errands, take kids to doctor/dentist/orthodontist/dance class, etc. I'm pretty busy.
I have a list of drop-in day care centers in our area, which I use myself whenever I get into a bind. I give them this info but they seem bummed about having to pay for daycare.
So I'm curious why people assume that SAHMs will provide free childcare? I know a "few" who babysit for extra money, but don't know any who babysit for free. Also, I stopped babysitting when I was in college.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla
Well, if you've never heard of it, there's not much you can really add to this discussion. I do know other moms who have had the same problem I do, with people asking them to babysit. So it does go on. That's why I opened up this discussion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla
Most people I know don't make such requests, so the problem is not the friends that I surround myself with, as you incorrectly stated. I even stated in the OP that it was a "few people" so go back and read.
And the woman who wanted me to provide her with free childcare, was someone I didn't know. Someone else was asking me on her behalf.
People have misconceptions about SAHMS in society. Having those misconceptions doesn't make them a bad person, it just means they haven't learned better. It also doesn't necessarily mean they would be bad friends. I wouldn't even end a friendship with someone who had those misconceptions, I would just try to educate them.
So NO, the issue is not me and the people I surround myself with. Nice try, though, Maciesmom.
Ok...so it happens a fair amount of times to you and your friends that strangers approach you for free daycare.
Sounds more like someone wants to stir up SAH vs working moms. Yawn. So old. Hopefully we're beyond that.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 11-29-2017 at 03:15 PM..
Reason: off topic and rude
I've had a few people ask me if they can drop their child off at my home while they work during the day. For free childcare.
Those scrubs would be removed from my "friends" list. It's different if they're in a bind or something, but not "just because".
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