Parents of kids under 18, how often do you get to rest/relax (i.e. me time)?

[G-fused]

Way too many dependencies and variations - kids are very very different. One requires tons of attention, another doesn't. Age matters. 1yr old requires a different amount and different type of attention than a 5 yr old than a 10 yr old than an 18yr old.

Time to yourself and date nights also depend heavily on support - do you have family around that could watch the kid? Money for babysitter? etc.

Also, and this is important...having less time to yourself is not nearly as difficult as the emotional toll. Again, that varies depending on the kid. Mine is difficult in and out so the emotional toll is high.

Best of luck

[jayrandom]

A lot of people have mentioned that it depends on the kid. That is very true. It also depends on the parent. If you want it to, you can let childcare consume every one of your waking moments. You can definitely spend every one of their waking moments doing something with or for them. When the kids are sleeping you can always find something that needs to be done. Alternately you can turn on the TV and just otherwise ignore them (at least past the newborn stage). There are parents at both extremes. Obviously most healthy people fall somewhere in between, but there can be a pretty big healthy range.

Personally, I’d say I get about an hour a night of time that isn’t devoted to some aspect of my kids. They are 1 and 3. They go to bed somewhere between 7-8 PM—usually closer to 8. I got to bed around 9:30. Add in about 30 minutes-hour of chores once they are asleep and there’s your hour. Considering that schedule gives me 7 hours of sleep it’s not bad at all. There’s less if I have some work work to do at home, though. If you count my 50 minute commute to/from work there’s more. Not exactly me time, but since 30 minutes of it are a brisk walk, it does help keep my head clear. We didn’t do date nights even when we were childless, but if we wanted to we could make that happen pretty easily.

I will say that the hardest part is how constant the need is. You don’t get days off. Especially, if, like me, your nearest relative is a six hour drive away. That’s the part that gets to my wife. Luckily it rolls off my back so I am happy to take our girls out and give her a bit of a break. In a real pinch she will show them a video on the TV. We try to limit that, which is a choice on our part.

I will say that however hard it might be for me, when I pick them up or come home from work and they run and give me a huge hug and scream daddy daddy it is totally worth it.